Achy breaky heart

My heart aches. 7,000km away and my heart still aches.

Even now

It's been so long since i last blogged I think. It's been a month and 3 days since my departure and so far I've been settling well in Brisbane. However I still don't feel happy. I know something is missing but I just can't figure what it is. It's like I hit a mid-21-year-old crisis.

Talk about missing, do you know what I really miss besides cheap food and worthy shopping? I miss every summer I spent in Singapore (though it is summer all year round), I miss those summer memories I had, I remember standing on the top of somewhere with the breeze running down my face and through my clothes without a care in the world. I miss that. I miss running wild and crazy, I miss not giving a damn and I miss my teenage dreams.

Till I post something sensible and penning down all my thoughts, I need to go chase away the possum up on my roof now.

That feeling of being lonely, is starting to sink in.

really

8 more days. :(

Tonight I wanted to know if everything will be ok, despite everything that we are and will be going through, but all I heard was, nothing.

I know myself well, I will move on and I will be strong, but not tonight, tonight, I just want to hang everything on the line and allow myself to cry, scream and get frustrated.

I was trying my hard to be very strong, but I think I lost it and I had to cry because I couldn't take it anymore. I am heavily upset and disappointed only to find out that the people I love the most don't wish to see me happy, but he makes me so happy because he can do it, no one else can come this close.

My mensis talking.

The thing I hate most about getting periods is that for that week of bottomless(literally) hell, I think and wonder alot more than I should. Like yesterday, throbbing around town and to Arab St and then home and then now on bed, I kept thinking and thinking and thinking and thinking ALOT. Some of the thoughts I think about annoy the crap out of me, but eventually it will diminish.

Today's tea and sheesha with Shafiq lasted for about 4 1/2 hours, just 2 people sitting at the back alley drinking a jug of iced cold turkish apple tea and smoking out double apple mint flavoured sheesha. Out of the entire time we were there, we kept quiet, the "i'm-deep-in-thought-and-i'll-soon-stone" kind of quiet. Well, I'm still thinking.

Remember this

Because I'll hold your hand and I'll hold you in my arms and whisper to you "Anything for you, till you get over this." I love you and i hope that is something to remind you that you've got someone to lean on to. You've been so hard on yourself but you don't realize how much more you have to offer, and sometimes people just don't see it. But I do.