Just yesterday when I was talking to my string of girls from Nisha, Fariza, Maimunah, Laveena, Amanda then Joy, they did went through with me the pros and cons of keeping the second later. But one chunk of sentence I said, sent him clueless. Well how can i forget the night/day I tore us?
I miss the way how i use to blog in my school days, somehow i see that my post are more different, like a certain me went astray. Probably it's the lack of engery or that my days are really getting to be boring. Maybe i should blog about anything under the sun, my views on certain topics, people and countries or even food. I'm sure there's more to my hummish-drummish life. Or yet, i can create my own term of words like i always do. Or maybe create a story and then fabricate it with my own set of characters. Because i admit i don't spill all my juicy detailed days at all, because deep in me are secrets that can make your eyelash curl out without using a shu umera eyelash curler.
I should really start to think what i want out of my days and my years just for starters before i can really decide what i want out of my life. Afterall, we need to take babysteps right?
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
fucking scared all the time
Today marks the day that i finally had a heart to heart chat with Nisha, my best friend after some long months. Everything under the sun. But it's worth it.
As I sit tight on my chair with a very fustrated look drawn on my face and eyes, i can only imagine and fanthom what the future has in store for me. Because my dear readers, I am scared. Go ahead laugh and mock me but it's the truth.
I'm scared of the future, i actually really am, let's put religion aside and other proclaims that 'God holds the future and the tomorrow, and He has time in His hands.' Because i don't want to hear it, even if that faith isn't dying, it's still terrifying. Because anything can happen.
I'm scared to loose the people that i love the most, my friends, my love, my family too.
I'm scared to find out that nothing was ever real or true.
I'm scared to get hurt.
I'm scared of loosing out in every fight, because it's exhausting to keep firm in what i strongly believe in.
And all those times i act so brave, truth is, i'm scared all the time. So fucking scared.
As I sit tight on my chair with a very fustrated look drawn on my face and eyes, i can only imagine and fanthom what the future has in store for me. Because my dear readers, I am scared. Go ahead laugh and mock me but it's the truth.
I'm scared of the future, i actually really am, let's put religion aside and other proclaims that 'God holds the future and the tomorrow, and He has time in His hands.' Because i don't want to hear it, even if that faith isn't dying, it's still terrifying. Because anything can happen.
I'm scared to loose the people that i love the most, my friends, my love, my family too.
I'm scared to find out that nothing was ever real or true.
I'm scared to get hurt.
I'm scared of loosing out in every fight, because it's exhausting to keep firm in what i strongly believe in.
And all those times i act so brave, truth is, i'm scared all the time. So fucking scared.
Monday, March 17, 2008
I'll come after that
But i wana stay alive and i wanna stay with you throughout this life. I'm pretty much an idiot sometimes, but sometimes you need to be an idiot and then discover the einstein in you, we weren't grown geniuses.
The scars on my body i got today are not beginning to heal. It's worst.
I used to think that courage was the hardest to fulfill and confidence to speak up for yourself was hardly ever found because we are weak and reliant. That's why we are creatures of that habit. And be glad, for that is what that makes us woefully human . We rely on a stronger someone and we bare our emotions , losing the integrity ever so often, then again so ironically, never regretting how we lose our minds without losing our pride. We are complicated, like that. No one's expected to understand the enigma behind this facade. But understand that i am full of faith for this life i lead beyond words.
The scars on my body i got today are not beginning to heal. It's worst.
I used to think that courage was the hardest to fulfill and confidence to speak up for yourself was hardly ever found because we are weak and reliant. That's why we are creatures of that habit. And be glad, for that is what that makes us woefully human . We rely on a stronger someone and we bare our emotions , losing the integrity ever so often, then again so ironically, never regretting how we lose our minds without losing our pride. We are complicated, like that. No one's expected to understand the enigma behind this facade. But understand that i am full of faith for this life i lead beyond words.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Urgent emergency
I'm on my last week at work. I hate/love to go. Mom also left this morning for the land of my other half side of me fore fathers, the land of anime, porn and bloody darn good food. Yet she had to be a big damn prick to my life this morning.
I'm slouched on the couch and i don't have the mood to move or to even smile. There's been something missing inside of me, like a certain kinda joy. Whatever it is it's eating me inside out like a spider enjoying it's feast.
I miss the touch and the words of love, but i guess training is taking much of his time. But to that, i'm starting to cry myself at night hoping for him to come back real soon' for i need him. I urgently need him.
I'm slouched on the couch and i don't have the mood to move or to even smile. There's been something missing inside of me, like a certain kinda joy. Whatever it is it's eating me inside out like a spider enjoying it's feast.
I miss the touch and the words of love, but i guess training is taking much of his time. But to that, i'm starting to cry myself at night hoping for him to come back real soon' for i need him. I urgently need him.
Saturday, March 08, 2008
if i were an ostrich, i'd not only bury my head when i'm scared. But i'd bury my head when i'm confused and frustrated and feeling terribly lost. And if only i can bite the hands that feed me.
Mom is a being a bitch. Mom is a bitch. Because of her i feel terribly lost and upset and down right confused. Yes the reason why i mainly feel moppy most of the time is her.
I shall go talk to someone and hopefully i feel better about this.
NOT.
Mom is a being a bitch. Mom is a bitch. Because of her i feel terribly lost and upset and down right confused. Yes the reason why i mainly feel moppy most of the time is her.
I shall go talk to someone and hopefully i feel better about this.
NOT.
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
Saturday, February 23, 2008
madly on
zomg. valentine's is over, well i had a big bouquet of roses by some person who calls himself kev. HAHA. To kev, thanks for the lovely roses. And the poems and the chocolates. Ok and oh i got into poly but into a course i deem to be pointless to me especially since i'm not interested in majoring in it at all. Bahhh,
ok anons, please number yourselves la. Yes i'm working at bugis. And reply to other anon, no, i'm not spiritually starved. I'm just figuring out why the world spins madly on.
If i'm unhappy, i'll show it still. Everything is becoming more clear and evident infront of me, i've been missing out alot. And if i want to go back, i have to jump to 1 year ago.
ok anons, please number yourselves la. Yes i'm working at bugis. And reply to other anon, no, i'm not spiritually starved. I'm just figuring out why the world spins madly on.
If i'm unhappy, i'll show it still. Everything is becoming more clear and evident infront of me, i've been missing out alot. And if i want to go back, i have to jump to 1 year ago.
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
roses
But i should be happy, but i'm very not. So now i'm thinking if it's something i did wrong. And the funny thing is I don't really know you, but i guess you won't even know if one day,
i'll be gone.
Don't give me any roses on valentine's day. Don't give me anything.
i'll be gone.
Don't give me any roses on valentine's day. Don't give me anything.
Saturday, February 02, 2008
When I wanted to break down halfway at work for thinking about what's wrong with the life i live, I got choked on with emotions and pepper powder in my nose. When was the last time I ever felt happy? Besides less then 24 hours ago, Zool had supper with me and stayed over at my place? I can be happy, I want to be happy.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
delete me
pay day is coming. (:
my little toes are getting excited.
Ok and for those who want to know how much i scored for the 'OH's, i had below 20. And I'll be going poly. So don't make me repeat my answer.
A few people came by to visit me from work, one was the unexpected visit of an ex. I try hard not to recall but i wish someone can delete a momento of a past. It got me thinking till i started catching spasm in space, and a customer lightly tapped me on the shoulder asking for a particular size for a shoe.
In this case, I choose myself.
my little toes are getting excited.
Ok and for those who want to know how much i scored for the 'OH's, i had below 20. And I'll be going poly. So don't make me repeat my answer.
A few people came by to visit me from work, one was the unexpected visit of an ex. I try hard not to recall but i wish someone can delete a momento of a past. It got me thinking till i started catching spasm in space, and a customer lightly tapped me on the shoulder asking for a particular size for a shoe.
In this case, I choose myself.
Monday, January 21, 2008
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Friday, January 11, 2008
work eat sleep
Work, sleep, eat. I can't believe that's how i live my life now. Well of course, it use to be study, eat, sleep. Working is fine, really. I earn the money that i desire to get. Or at least i'll get rather. I work 6 days a week, 11-12 hours a day. Thought about changing jobs because i realise that i do kinda need my life back you know.
and i like you because
if we go away together
and i get lost
then you are the one that is yelling for me
hey where are you?
-sandol stoddard warburg
and i like you because
if we go away together
and i get lost
then you are the one that is yelling for me
hey where are you?
-sandol stoddard warburg
Friday, January 04, 2008
big deal
I clinched a job at Bugis, Le Pommier, at the second level, infront of the information/sistics counter! At the far end. I think working hours and days are terrible. 10am-10pm, and it's 6 times a week, i get Saturday off. Oh and it's like totally chinese speaking environment. Terrible huh? Well whatever to get what i want, i pay the price for it.
And now it hit me, i haven't got the slightest thing to wear to work.
And now it hit me, i haven't got the slightest thing to wear to work.
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
Secret Misery
AUGH. I'm un-employed yet. So spending money almost everyday isn't doing me good. But i'll call up this 3rd agent regarding about an on the spot job. 1.5k a month? Any objections? At some place that says C-I-T-Y. That could possible be almost anywhere, since Singapore is afterall a C-I-T-Y itself. Selling ladies accesories.
Well, i came home from town, Zool sent me home via bike. I don't know why but I'm kinda sick of the fashion here. It's just TOOO common. I don't want to whine and do nothing about it. But it's kinda boring seeing everyone wearing almost the same thing. It's like how the many versions of Romeo & Juliet is being altered, they just change the era, settings, props, clothes. Still no actual twist, since both end up being dead anyway. It's getting really boring. Oh in any case, Zool and Irwan were nice enough to share my misery throughout the day.
Well, i came home from town, Zool sent me home via bike. I don't know why but I'm kinda sick of the fashion here. It's just TOOO common. I don't want to whine and do nothing about it. But it's kinda boring seeing everyone wearing almost the same thing. It's like how the many versions of Romeo & Juliet is being altered, they just change the era, settings, props, clothes. Still no actual twist, since both end up being dead anyway. It's getting really boring. Oh in any case, Zool and Irwan were nice enough to share my misery throughout the day.
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
3 minutes of happiness
New endings, old beginnings. How sweet. I hope my friends/readers, that you're all celebrating today and yesterday with happiness and not a pinch of sadness. On the stroke of 12, i didn't know if i should have cried and swallow down pride, instead, i encouraged my childhood friend, Saya to sneak out of the house. (She wanted to anyway!)
I swore, it was such an emo night, and on the start of the year. But one thing lead to another, drama always follow. By now, i learnt that if you play with fire, you can either stay to continue playing, or you use a stronger fire to create a bigger fire, or you can stand and watch. Whichever it is. I'll be happy, eventually. Even if it's for a while.
Well, have a good year ahead of you all.
I swore, it was such an emo night, and on the start of the year. But one thing lead to another, drama always follow. By now, i learnt that if you play with fire, you can either stay to continue playing, or you use a stronger fire to create a bigger fire, or you can stand and watch. Whichever it is. I'll be happy, eventually. Even if it's for a while.
Well, have a good year ahead of you all.
Sunday, December 30, 2007
where it all starts
OK. So japan trip, done. Christmas, done. Yes i'm back. Hello fellow singaporeans! (:
So i went DXO last night. What happened there remains there. What i did and whatever happened remains there. What a night full of drama. I think i wouldn't dare fix the twist anymore, it'll just show me eventually what it'll do. I have a heart that cannot be tammed, an inner voice that wants to be heard. Happiness i say, is no where in it, and it's because, happiness can sometimes last for only 3 minutes. But i'm guessing it's about time since i freed myself from life's distractions.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
see you in a decade
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Hey kids i know my o's are over and i SHOULD be blogging but really sorry. I've been pretty darn busy.
anyway, i've yet to pack my bags. Flight is at 8.40.
God and i'm hell as sad as i can be. ):
BUT look more for i'll be grudgingly telling you my days here in japan.
to everybody , well i'll miss you.
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Hey kids i know my o's are over and i SHOULD be blogging but really sorry. I've been pretty darn busy.
anyway, i've yet to pack my bags. Flight is at 8.40.
God and i'm hell as sad as i can be. ):
BUT look more for i'll be grudgingly telling you my days here in japan.
to everybody , well i'll miss you.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
spray hearts on concrete they won't die
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hey i'm getting tension headaches. How cool is that? -does V sign wearing nothing but hippy clothes-
ok my headache is not getting any better. So after taking this medicine, some long unspelt name i have never heard of, i feel like a druggie.
O's are next week. When? O's are next week. When? O's are next week. When?
O's are sometime soon.
Did i tell you my readers this signifance of the heart in today's post? -looks at previous paragraph-
ok. no.
well no my heart is not broken, and no i'm not dividing it into 3 or more parts. But my heart is tugged at matters of the affairs of the heart. No biggy. Firdaus is being a great support to me. (:
To admit, i've never felt comfortable with anyone before. -Friends stares at me with the 'you-said-this-before' look-
Well............Time is only capable of that aint it now.
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hey i'm getting tension headaches. How cool is that? -does V sign wearing nothing but hippy clothes-ok my headache is not getting any better. So after taking this medicine, some long unspelt name i have never heard of, i feel like a druggie.
O's are next week. When? O's are next week. When? O's are next week. When?
O's are sometime soon.
Did i tell you my readers this signifance of the heart in today's post? -looks at previous paragraph-
ok. no.
well no my heart is not broken, and no i'm not dividing it into 3 or more parts. But my heart is tugged at matters of the affairs of the heart. No biggy. Firdaus is being a great support to me. (:
To admit, i've never felt comfortable with anyone before. -Friends stares at me with the 'you-said-this-before' look-
Well............Time is only capable of that aint it now.
Sunday, October 07, 2007
My air ticket to no-where
Ok, i can't believed that i just graduated. Class of 2007. 5n2.
How can i not be happy? I am actually not gonna be in the same class with this bunch of people whom i can call friends.
Alex,
Amanda Bay,
Cassie,
Belinda,
Amaryllis,
Esvari,
Louisa,
Laveena,
Maimunah,
Nisha
FiFi,
Joyce,
Chloe,
Ji Min,
Phanida,
Amanda Lee,
Sandra,
Caryn,
Wan Ting,
Lynette,
Rachel Mak,
Becky,
Alexia,
Zara,
Michelle,
Viviyana,
Elanor,
Shalini,
Ting Fang,
Jazreel,
Rachel Yong,
Sara Koh,
Floremae.
I just can't bear to live school. I can't sum up how much i feel for each and every one of you in a sentence. But i chose out this song and from the bottom of my heart, i mean every word i say.
i really really do love you guys as friends and as sisters. we've seen each other blossom up to who we are today. And you know what? I really really do love you all, REMEMBER THAT!
so with this, please do remember one another.
from my heart,
erika.
How can i not be happy? I am actually not gonna be in the same class with this bunch of people whom i can call friends.
Alex,
Amanda Bay,
Cassie,
Belinda,
Amaryllis,
Esvari,
Louisa,
Laveena,
Maimunah,
Nisha
FiFi,
Joyce,
Chloe,
Ji Min,
Phanida,
Amanda Lee,
Sandra,
Caryn,
Wan Ting,
Lynette,
Rachel Mak,
Becky,
Alexia,
Zara,
Michelle,
Viviyana,
Elanor,
Shalini,
Ting Fang,
Jazreel,
Rachel Yong,
Sara Koh,
Floremae.
I just can't bear to live school. I can't sum up how much i feel for each and every one of you in a sentence. But i chose out this song and from the bottom of my heart, i mean every word i say.
i really really do love you guys as friends and as sisters. we've seen each other blossom up to who we are today. And you know what? I really really do love you all, REMEMBER THAT!
so with this, please do remember one another.
from my heart,
erika.
Monday, September 24, 2007
bahh
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It's 11.23 a.m. half an hour plus to the next day.
well i've spent my life studying.
so i guess this is how the post would end too. since my life revolves around the o's.
pure simplicity huh?
oh i just thought i'd let the rest of the world know, but i'm terribly missing a group of people. I really really really really do. And i'll do whatever it takes to spend time with each and every of them after o's. That is if i ever get to.
shocking news=i'm SHIPPED off to japan after o's for some japan immersion programme, more like erika-gets-to-laugh-at-people-watching and erika-creates-havoc. At least i've planned out some ideas to get me expelled from the school.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
ZUM
ZUM ZUM ZUM ZUM ZUM.
I am aproximately close to a month to o's.
anyway, i'm starting to save up my bit for my phone-bill. Yes, i finally came to my own senses that i SHOULD pay-up, though i'm already black-listed. (grumbles)
oh wells. ):
things can look bright, or dull. But i'm still smiling thanks to Mr Noah. (:
cheers my readers, i'll try to be more consistent.
Mrs Noah.
I am aproximately close to a month to o's.
anyway, i'm starting to save up my bit for my phone-bill. Yes, i finally came to my own senses that i SHOULD pay-up, though i'm already black-listed. (grumbles)
oh wells. ):
things can look bright, or dull. But i'm still smiling thanks to Mr Noah. (:
cheers my readers, i'll try to be more consistent.
Mrs Noah.
Sunday, September 09, 2007
regret this
you know what my readers?someday I am gonna regret this. Trust me because i'm starting too. I'm starting too loose the ruggedness in a few friendships, the superior does not seem to bother but the inferior is screaming out 'come back. stay. don't go'. I guess that's why we're suppose to make new friends to cover up for the old ones. But can they replace the old ones? I don't think so.
This so feels like the Laguna Beach season, and it's not even the winter holidays yet (Nov-Dec).
I did it because I care.
I care because I miss you
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
The great escape
Ahh september holidays. I miss wasting my life at school. Well i know i do curse and holler my swears about my days at school, but i pine to be there. That's not the only thing i miss about too. I miss alot of people like
wan (jb), firly, batam, belu, zul, and the skate gang. But mostly i miss Wan (jb). It's been 2 months since i heard from you.
Derrick and the jdi and bfc crew. Syafiq, ahzard, mizan, sham, wan, t.j aka teddy (TO ME!), shahrin.
Yanti and Nurul, dang girls its been eons.
victoria, fel tham, syid somehow pretty isn't pretty till i see more of you.
erika
charmaine
ok the list goes on and i bet you readers get the picture.
Studying till my little brain hurts. I dont really wanna study tooo hard and too much, i've encountered too many mindblocks as a result. Sigh i live in a crazy world la.
Running away, forget yesterday, we'll make the great escape.
wan (jb), firly, batam, belu, zul, and the skate gang. But mostly i miss Wan (jb). It's been 2 months since i heard from you.
Derrick and the jdi and bfc crew. Syafiq, ahzard, mizan, sham, wan, t.j aka teddy (TO ME!), shahrin.
Yanti and Nurul, dang girls its been eons.
victoria, fel tham, syid somehow pretty isn't pretty till i see more of you.
erika
charmaine
ok the list goes on and i bet you readers get the picture.
Studying till my little brain hurts. I dont really wanna study tooo hard and too much, i've encountered too many mindblocks as a result. Sigh i live in a crazy world la.
Running away, forget yesterday, we'll make the great escape.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Computer down, Prelims bitch, eyebags drooping, yet to pay phone bills are hate.
Ok i was reading some a friends blog and was just admiring her top when it DAWNED upon me this question, 'When was the lat time did i spent my money on something?'. I've wasted money on top up cards weekly, yes $18 cannot last me for that long, so I guess that explains why my phone bill cost a 1/3 of some working people's salary.
So erika note a rain check.
-get 2 more white sphagetti (Naomi USED one of yours)
-get yourself a new set of heels and pumps. (for some reason, the leather came off, God knows how it did)
-get yourself a new set of wardrobe. (You're running out of things to wear, honestly)
So i guess i'll head to town before going to Jap class to do some shopping and do some bargain hunting, (shhhhh don't ask me for the places that gives THE BEST clothes at ultra lord good prices). And i'm in the midst of my prelims, mind you.
Ok i was reading some a friends blog and was just admiring her top when it DAWNED upon me this question, 'When was the lat time did i spent my money on something?'. I've wasted money on top up cards weekly, yes $18 cannot last me for that long, so I guess that explains why my phone bill cost a 1/3 of some working people's salary.
So erika note a rain check.
-get 2 more white sphagetti (Naomi USED one of yours)
-get yourself a new set of heels and pumps. (for some reason, the leather came off, God knows how it did)
-get yourself a new set of wardrobe. (You're running out of things to wear, honestly)
So i guess i'll head to town before going to Jap class to do some shopping and do some bargain hunting, (shhhhh don't ask me for the places that gives THE BEST clothes at ultra lord good prices). And i'm in the midst of my prelims, mind you.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Out of this population I wonder how many humans in Singapore, or even in the world actually read my blog. Well I’ve long gone abandon my blog for another latter, but since all you cyber geeks just want to know if I’m alive, I’ll be nice and tell you all how I’ve been doing. (:
School has been a major WHOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. I can’t spill all the details out on blog as it has been classified as confidential. But my toast is so burnt. I’m in the midst of my papers, and as many of you know it, well I think I just have to thank the Lord for a million of trees has been bull-dozed over. Question papers are left blank other than the question numbers, name, class, address and date. And the miserable steps I take to finish off each question, sometimes I just catch spasm.
On another good note, well, I’m just a little out of single and full of love. (:
There are 400 billion people on this planet and all you need is 1 person to love.
School has been a major WHOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. I can’t spill all the details out on blog as it has been classified as confidential. But my toast is so burnt. I’m in the midst of my papers, and as many of you know it, well I think I just have to thank the Lord for a million of trees has been bull-dozed over. Question papers are left blank other than the question numbers, name, class, address and date. And the miserable steps I take to finish off each question, sometimes I just catch spasm.
On another good note, well, I’m just a little out of single and full of love. (:
There are 400 billion people on this planet and all you need is 1 person to love.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Daddy walks in and hands me a letter. I ripped it open and guess what i found,
TOTAL AMOUNT DUE (SGD): $ 985. 69.
I couldn't concentrate on studying. So i slumped on my desk and started trying again to find a way to pay off that ridiculous price. I could use half of my pocket money to pay at least small bit of it. But i can never reach that price. I mean i'm still a STUDENT for crying out loud. I'm NOT getting paid to study am i?!?
I'm utterly pissed off. I WANT someone to make me happy. I don't care! ):<
TOTAL AMOUNT DUE (SGD): $ 985. 69.
I couldn't concentrate on studying. So i slumped on my desk and started trying again to find a way to pay off that ridiculous price. I could use half of my pocket money to pay at least small bit of it. But i can never reach that price. I mean i'm still a STUDENT for crying out loud. I'm NOT getting paid to study am i?!?
I'm utterly pissed off. I WANT someone to make me happy. I don't care! ):<
Saturday, August 11, 2007
stupid promises
I swear on my chocolates, but this is the ever first time i spent a saturday, AT HOME. I'm always out on saturday. But because of stupid silly arguments, ahhh, you get the idea. You love 'em or hate 'em. Which is which, I have no idea. They think I'm blissfully unaware that the majors are upcoming, they think i'm an idiot.
You know it did hit me hard that the O's were coming sometime just a few days back. (To admit this.) Many of you my friends from the N's to the O's, know that we technically did drown ourselves last year, but when the drive of doing another International Recognised exam, that feeling is lost. I did find some feeble excuse to delay studying. But maybe we can't find the drive or the determination to do anything. We might lack most things a successful person should have. THe constant want to do better, the motivation, the inexpendable power and energy of an energizer bunny. It's just ABSENT in life.
But we'll find it.
Nothing is impossible I say.
( I think I should run for mayor, that is if there is such thing in this country,I'd rock the world!:) )
On another note, I thought playing this game was initially over, but i was so very wrong, I'm at it again. And I'm tackling the big boys now. What a weird and strange and beauitful life i lead.
You know it did hit me hard that the O's were coming sometime just a few days back. (To admit this.) Many of you my friends from the N's to the O's, know that we technically did drown ourselves last year, but when the drive of doing another International Recognised exam, that feeling is lost. I did find some feeble excuse to delay studying. But maybe we can't find the drive or the determination to do anything. We might lack most things a successful person should have. THe constant want to do better, the motivation, the inexpendable power and energy of an energizer bunny. It's just ABSENT in life.
But we'll find it.
Nothing is impossible I say.
( I think I should run for mayor, that is if there is such thing in this country,I'd rock the world!:) )
On another note, I thought playing this game was initially over, but i was so very wrong, I'm at it again. And I'm tackling the big boys now. What a weird and strange and beauitful life i lead.
Thursday, August 09, 2007
i'm bouncing off the walls again
Man i'm not patriotic, it's national day, so what?
i'm so bouncing off the walls again, and i'm acting like a fool again.
this love that i'll create will have no boundaries.
i'm so bouncing off the walls again, and i'm acting like a fool again.
this love that i'll create will have no boundaries.
Thursday, August 02, 2007
fifi and me.
ok due to the privacy of the affairs of my heart, i've given my friend a name that you will not find. However you know the sex, if you don't. You're not even human.
me: HEY you! i just came by, was thinking about you and just wanted to know how you were doing?
fifi: Just a little tired. Just had rehearsal, tomorrow got show. Now at vivo, having lunch, how bout you?
me: i'm doing just fine. really swell. how's everyone?
fifi: same old. Nothing change. How's school and all?
me: it can be a whore, especially since prelims are around the corner. heyyyy, i miss you a tad bit.
fifi: miss you abit too.(:
me: we should meet up more often now.
fifi: maybe we should but no promises k?
me: i'm not surprised. hey i was just wondering but do you still have the picture we took on our first date still?
fifi: yarp
me: awwww ok.
what are the signs that you are sending me again?
me: HEY you! i just came by, was thinking about you and just wanted to know how you were doing?
fifi: Just a little tired. Just had rehearsal, tomorrow got show. Now at vivo, having lunch, how bout you?
me: i'm doing just fine. really swell. how's everyone?
fifi: same old. Nothing change. How's school and all?
me: it can be a whore, especially since prelims are around the corner. heyyyy, i miss you a tad bit.
fifi: miss you abit too.(:
me: we should meet up more often now.
fifi: maybe we should but no promises k?
me: i'm not surprised. hey i was just wondering but do you still have the picture we took on our first date still?
fifi: yarp
me: awwww ok.
what are the signs that you are sending me again?
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
For Hadi.
Hey small boy,
it's over and done with. So you should be happy now just like how I am happy with my life. I don't have to be nice all the time, reason being this is the REAL world we live in. Plus, take it as a way of preparing you as well. I may not be the best person in the whole world, but that doesn't mean I'm the least either. You were a wonderful guy to me, my sister and well to my life. I enjoyed our conversations, our dates, our text-messages, our bus journey's down to your training grounds, everything. I honestly did. But I'm sorry to say that we can no longer call ourselves what we could anymore. Don't prod on. MOVE ON.
I'll never forget you my friend. I won't. I'll be a busy person for the next few months. So you'll see and hear from me like once in a while.
I might hate you now, but that doesn't mean it'll be forever. So go get the girl you've been waiting on for, and this time round, DON'T tell me. Save it for our future meet ups that we'll have. It's not that I'm not interested, bu just save the best for last. So will i, when i meet that guy that i'll fall for, i'll tell you when we meet up. We'll laugh ourselves silly, about this when we look back. Trust me. Been there. Done that.
Well, till then.
All the love,
erika. XO.
it's over and done with. So you should be happy now just like how I am happy with my life. I don't have to be nice all the time, reason being this is the REAL world we live in. Plus, take it as a way of preparing you as well. I may not be the best person in the whole world, but that doesn't mean I'm the least either. You were a wonderful guy to me, my sister and well to my life. I enjoyed our conversations, our dates, our text-messages, our bus journey's down to your training grounds, everything. I honestly did. But I'm sorry to say that we can no longer call ourselves what we could anymore. Don't prod on. MOVE ON.
I'll never forget you my friend. I won't. I'll be a busy person for the next few months. So you'll see and hear from me like once in a while.
I might hate you now, but that doesn't mean it'll be forever. So go get the girl you've been waiting on for, and this time round, DON'T tell me. Save it for our future meet ups that we'll have. It's not that I'm not interested, bu just save the best for last. So will i, when i meet that guy that i'll fall for, i'll tell you when we meet up. We'll laugh ourselves silly, about this when we look back. Trust me. Been there. Done that.
Well, till then.
All the love,
erika. XO.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
hero/heroine
Boy: Would you stil love me in the morning?
Girl: Forever and ever babe.
i'm sorry that i refuse to see pass through everything.
i'm sorry to know that you were just a friend.
:'(
Girl: Forever and ever babe.
i'm sorry that i refuse to see pass through everything.
i'm sorry to know that you were just a friend.
:'(
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
inevitable decay of that fair weathered love
i still remember when we hung out together, we enjoyed playful verbal banter, we were tender. But those gushing sentiments that we spoke off to each other, did we regret?
The seasons pass so fast, the blooms faded, and natyre took its course of inevitable decay, and without argument or discussion, we started to neglect each other. Somehow we got back to where we were, where we stare at each other from the other room.
But i ask myself now: Was there ever a true great love? Anyone who became the object of my obsession and not simply my affections? I don't think so. In part, this was my fault. Maybe it was my nature, i suppose. I could not let myself become that great mindful.
But isn't that what love is-losing your mind?
You don't care what people will think. You don't see your beloved's faults, the slight stinginess, the bit of carelesness, the occasional streak of meaness. You don't mind that he is beneath you socially, educationally,financially and morally. Ok i think that's the worst- deficient morals.
The seasons pass so fast, the blooms faded, and natyre took its course of inevitable decay, and without argument or discussion, we started to neglect each other. Somehow we got back to where we were, where we stare at each other from the other room.
But i ask myself now: Was there ever a true great love? Anyone who became the object of my obsession and not simply my affections? I don't think so. In part, this was my fault. Maybe it was my nature, i suppose. I could not let myself become that great mindful.
But isn't that what love is-losing your mind?
You don't care what people will think. You don't see your beloved's faults, the slight stinginess, the bit of carelesness, the occasional streak of meaness. You don't mind that he is beneath you socially, educationally,financially and morally. Ok i think that's the worst- deficient morals.
Monday, July 16, 2007
reaching out for you
Good Golly God.
how come i feel miserable? And that i actually feel good being miserable. How weird isit and why is it coming from you boy?
Can i say that i like you? or would you run away?
i feel so blind, but i'm desperately reaching out for you still.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
my paper heart will rip
It's good to be in love, it really does suit you. I'm happy you're in love.
Kids. I would like to say hello. I've done a very very very bad thing over the past few months, and i caused people to get hurt. WELL that's only one person though, but still, that was no excuse for me to go around hurting people. But I was honest, and i told him the truth. And now i'm very very very sorry. But that pain will sink in, maybe he can bury it and never let it grow. But if he waters it with his thoughts, i'm afraid it will grow and sprout into a weed.
Well on my way back home from city hall, i thought about a situation that i'm currently in. What if i said that nothing was ever real, and that i was just out there to test myself? I think i would have come back a soldier with a white flag. To come to think of it, what if i choose the other latter? I'd have left the fray for the latter. But on the contrary, think of it this way, doesn't everybody deserve to be happy? Well, i guess it's uncertain for sure, but would any of you of my dear friends and readers kill me if i say i'd like to jump in and find out what i might never know?
Well on my way back home from city hall, i thought about a situation that i'm currently in. What if i said that nothing was ever real, and that i was just out there to test myself? I think i would have come back a soldier with a white flag. To come to think of it, what if i choose the other latter? I'd have left the fray for the latter. But on the contrary, think of it this way, doesn't everybody deserve to be happy? Well, i guess it's uncertain for sure, but would any of you of my dear friends and readers kill me if i say i'd like to jump in and find out what i might never know?
just go ahead.
KILL ME. :]
oh heart, what should we ever do with you?
Sunday, July 01, 2007
will we be ready?
life can be a real whore.
um acs barker carnival was kinda a letdown. But company was all good. Outing with new found friend, Reza was pretty wild and hilarious. Waiting for Syamil was like waiting for Hadi to come down from Tampines to Town. Oh wells, i can't wait to see his ass getting screwed real bad. Twice. (:Revenge is yet bitter sweet. Big time argument happend at home, momma and poppa are both another bitch.
__________________________________________________________________
To: My love
I have got to say this. I don't know if we weren't ready for anything. However we both jumped at the chance to it and grab it. But now I have doubts. Were we ever ready? I ask some good confidents whom I know have my interest at heart, they told me, that I maybe right. We were all to fast? Or was i just too desperate to be happy? Love can be an obsession to many. For me it's essential, but not an obsession. But I need you to be on the same pace, wavelength, side, wind, ramp with me. Cause the way I see it, we're both at different ramps. I don't even know if i'll ever get to reach you.
from,
your love, erika.
um acs barker carnival was kinda a letdown. But company was all good. Outing with new found friend, Reza was pretty wild and hilarious. Waiting for Syamil was like waiting for Hadi to come down from Tampines to Town. Oh wells, i can't wait to see his ass getting screwed real bad. Twice. (:Revenge is yet bitter sweet. Big time argument happend at home, momma and poppa are both another bitch.
__________________________________________________________________
To: My love
I have got to say this. I don't know if we weren't ready for anything. However we both jumped at the chance to it and grab it. But now I have doubts. Were we ever ready? I ask some good confidents whom I know have my interest at heart, they told me, that I maybe right. We were all to fast? Or was i just too desperate to be happy? Love can be an obsession to many. For me it's essential, but not an obsession. But I need you to be on the same pace, wavelength, side, wind, ramp with me. Cause the way I see it, we're both at different ramps. I don't even know if i'll ever get to reach you.
from,
your love, erika.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
something ailing
Cafeteria's food has gone from bad to well even more bad. So maybe we did take for granted about the food that we had with the old stall vendors. But ahhhh i can't take this new cafeteria anymore! ):
i couldn't help but cry myself silly over yesterdays quarrels with Wan and Nazri. However when i opened up, let's call him hip hopper, 'hip hopper's' friendster profile page, i got led to his myspace instead. I got a lil jealous and that i realise i got hurt a lil bit. And then i cried again over the silliest things. I hate this feeling. It gets me chewing off my mind. My heavy heart can break into a million pieces, but maybe it may be better that way. Love can be shared.
But again, please forgive my poor ailing heart.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
m-a-l-a-y-s-i-a
i'm soooo glad to be back. Well since i just came back from malaysia, i thought about sharing with you the many things that i feel i should raise. (wow, so unlike me)
Would you ever look in the eye of a malay person and feel the same thing? With all the racial and religious conflict going on, i don't have the answers to the questions. But all i can say is, i go mad whenever i think about it.
I enjoy and i always look forward to going to malaysia, (nisha, fariza, laveena and mai maybe you guys know the reason why (;) but other than that, i just do enjoy it.
So i was at seremban, k.l and genting.
1 word: AWSOMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
Seremban was for that family church camp: Saw the new sl'o'ts in town.
K.L: Shopppppping. Bought this reallllllllly adorable top.
Genting: Theme park, and lovely eyecandies.
J.B: Shopping.
alright, i gotta go hunt down syamil. damn that bastard
Would you ever look in the eye of a malay person and feel the same thing? With all the racial and religious conflict going on, i don't have the answers to the questions. But all i can say is, i go mad whenever i think about it.
I enjoy and i always look forward to going to malaysia, (nisha, fariza, laveena and mai maybe you guys know the reason why (;) but other than that, i just do enjoy it.
So i was at seremban, k.l and genting.
1 word: AWSOMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
Seremban was for that family church camp: Saw the new sl'o'ts in town.
K.L: Shopppppping. Bought this reallllllllly adorable top.
Genting: Theme park, and lovely eyecandies.
J.B: Shopping.
alright, i gotta go hunt down syamil. damn that bastard
Saturday, June 16, 2007
good people do homework
It's 11.13
im at the Allson Hotel at Seremban, well the bar longue. They're playing Pink's stupid girl.
To all who wished me a happy birthday, thanks! (: I'm surprised. Like the people i least expect to text me, actually did anyway.
Well since i'm bunking in with my childhood friend, Saya. We had a good a few hours chat. And she gave me the greatest gift that anyone could have given, HITTING THE SENSE I NEED. Exactly what i need. You know, i think i am sure of the decisions that im about to make, or so that's what i think.
I think it's time to come clean with many people. Hello I'm erika, i just turned 17 and im very unfaithful.
go be a good girl/boy and figured out that math for your homework.
im at the Allson Hotel at Seremban, well the bar longue. They're playing Pink's stupid girl.
To all who wished me a happy birthday, thanks! (: I'm surprised. Like the people i least expect to text me, actually did anyway.
Well since i'm bunking in with my childhood friend, Saya. We had a good a few hours chat. And she gave me the greatest gift that anyone could have given, HITTING THE SENSE I NEED. Exactly what i need. You know, i think i am sure of the decisions that im about to make, or so that's what i think.
I think it's time to come clean with many people. Hello I'm erika, i just turned 17 and im very unfaithful.
go be a good girl/boy and figured out that math for your homework.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
when someone says 'I will be around'
My time is running out,
I'm far from where i want to be,
I'm hanging around the lost and found,
I need someone to lean on.
Where is everybody? Why isn't anyone around when you need them? ):
I'm far from where i want to be,
I'm hanging around the lost and found,
I need someone to lean on.
Where is everybody? Why isn't anyone around when you need them? ):
Friday, June 08, 2007
i'm on a high, on a high.
right on this is one of my favourite music from CALI. Home town of 3-4 years of my life spent. home sweet Cali. (:
Well, but i'm on a high too anyway. Days when you think back of time spent, i Laugh, i Smile, i Cry. I guess that's what makes life a joy. Too bad i know of a lot, who don't have that time. Treating life like a rat race. JEEEEBUS! Don't take life too seriously, it plays you around like a lil merry go round too you know, making you spin in all directions and letting you fly off to unknown places with the strangest characters.
oh wells, enjoy life my human friends. (:
Thursday, June 07, 2007
You should've said no
Good God. This will be all over and done with for once and for all.
It's strange to think the songs we used to sing
The smiles, the flowers, everything: is gone
Yesterday I found out about you
Even now just looking at you: feels wrong
You say that you'd take it all back, given one chance
It was a moment of weakness and you said yes...
Actually you should've said no, you should've gone home
You should've thought twice before you let it all go
You should've know that word, bout what you did with her would get back to me...
And I should've been there, in the back of your mind
I shouldn't be asking myself why
You shouldn't be begging for forgiveness at my feet...
You should've said no, baby and you might still have me.
It's strange to think the songs we used to sing
The smiles, the flowers, everything: is gone
Yesterday I found out about you
Even now just looking at you: feels wrong
You say that you'd take it all back, given one chance
It was a moment of weakness and you said yes...
Actually you should've said no, you should've gone home
You should've thought twice before you let it all go
You should've know that word, bout what you did with her would get back to me...
And I should've been there, in the back of your mind
I shouldn't be asking myself why
You shouldn't be begging for forgiveness at my feet...
You should've said no, baby and you might still have me.
Sunday, June 03, 2007
huntress
Thank you Derrick aka tech 1 and friends of his for doing a splendid job in cheering me up.
Jason, you rocked the stage. (: The Jerk, siaaa la, you'll always be my teddy bear.
The huntress didn't get her game. Because the game backed out on the fight. So S-A-D. And the game has a D-I-C-K, shame shame shame shame on you.
Jason, you rocked the stage. (: The Jerk, siaaa la, you'll always be my teddy bear.
The huntress didn't get her game. Because the game backed out on the fight. So S-A-D. And the game has a D-I-C-K, shame shame shame shame on you.
Thursday, May 31, 2007
konvicted
KONVICTED @ Fort Canning Park
I was late! Suppose to be there at 5-ish 6, but wound up reaching there at almost 8. Along with Santos, whom i bump into the MRT. I took one big giant run to fort canning park. -.-
But ahh skip this part, met new friends, Yee-Ni, Sylvia, May, Davis, 2 of Fel Tham's friend, some guy friends of JenMark and Jin Wei. Selina, Chloe, Jared, Kenneth, Shane Than, Shane (ABC) Russell, and Fahreeq were there.
The population was pretty patethic, I estimate a 100 odd or more or less. The irritating bit was the part when people came up to me and said,
'EH, damn boring la this party.'
With all do respect, but obviously it was boring, BECAUSE, you're suppose to get your freaking ass inside and on to the freaking dancefloor and dance your freaking little heart out. Typical people, of THE NATO FEDERATION. JEEEBUS!
Anyway, drinks served was swell, had a tequilla raw, and redbull/vodka, and some good ol tequilla shots.
Emcee tech one was ummmmm getting acquainted. HA
2 fights broke out. 4 police cars came. 1 angry DJ. GO FIGURE.
I was late! Suppose to be there at 5-ish 6, but wound up reaching there at almost 8. Along with Santos, whom i bump into the MRT. I took one big giant run to fort canning park. -.-
But ahh skip this part, met new friends, Yee-Ni, Sylvia, May, Davis, 2 of Fel Tham's friend, some guy friends of JenMark and Jin Wei. Selina, Chloe, Jared, Kenneth, Shane Than, Shane (ABC) Russell, and Fahreeq were there.
The population was pretty patethic, I estimate a 100 odd or more or less. The irritating bit was the part when people came up to me and said,
'EH, damn boring la this party.'
With all do respect, but obviously it was boring, BECAUSE, you're suppose to get your freaking ass inside and on to the freaking dancefloor and dance your freaking little heart out. Typical people, of THE NATO FEDERATION. JEEEBUS!
Anyway, drinks served was swell, had a tequilla raw, and redbull/vodka, and some good ol tequilla shots.
Emcee tech one was ummmmm getting acquainted. HA
2 fights broke out. 4 police cars came. 1 angry DJ. GO FIGURE.
Sunday, May 27, 2007
unlucky
man oh man why do such unlucky events happen to me?
i failed pretty miserablely for the mid years. Like L1R4, NOT GOOD.
TRAUMA, DRAMA, MAMA happend on saturday. NADA.
sigh. and what still, Konvicted sales, aint doing too well the way i want either.
i failed pretty miserablely for the mid years. Like L1R4, NOT GOOD.
TRAUMA, DRAMA, MAMA happend on saturday. NADA.
sigh. and what still, Konvicted sales, aint doing too well the way i want either.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Sunday, May 20, 2007
the opposite of fate
because i'm better with you
I was reading today's Sunday times when i managed to spot the article OF THE WEEK.
On Page 23 entitled ' 4 arrested in vicious honour killing of Iraqi Teen'
I got reminded of Romeo & Juliet, but a more tragic and gruesome storyline instead. But the weird & funny thing is i can see myself, just maybe cancel out the dying part la!
It did type
" She's a Yazidi. He was a Muslim".
Then i got myself thinking,
" She's a Christian. He is a Muslim".
So now my fellow readers, as you read through the future entries about my life. Think Romeo & Juliet here.
I was reading today's Sunday times when i managed to spot the article OF THE WEEK.
On Page 23 entitled ' 4 arrested in vicious honour killing of Iraqi Teen'
I got reminded of Romeo & Juliet, but a more tragic and gruesome storyline instead. But the weird & funny thing is i can see myself, just maybe cancel out the dying part la!
It did type
" She's a Yazidi. He was a Muslim".
Then i got myself thinking,
" She's a Christian. He is a Muslim".
So now my fellow readers, as you read through the future entries about my life. Think Romeo & Juliet here.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Go buy yourself a character.
i might not be alright now, but i'll be ok later. I promise you girls that i'll be just fine. (:
I am sick of this. That constant and endless nagging from mom. That screaming, preaching or whatsoever. Honestly i feel that she doesn't practice what she preaches. So i ask myself why bother at times. Whatever she's saying isn't getting into my head anymore, it DOESN'T make sense to me. It's just one of those endless and tire words that doesn't sink into my head any longer. Like decomposed material of the soil above the ground, EVENTUALLY it'll be disintergrated, yes.
But it won't be there forever, it'll be removed by means.
So this is it, the next round, i'll be running away, fo real.
When i earn enough, i'll give you whatever i have for you to go get yourself A NEW CHARACTER,
mum.
You'll thank me
I am sick of this. That constant and endless nagging from mom. That screaming, preaching or whatsoever. Honestly i feel that she doesn't practice what she preaches. So i ask myself why bother at times. Whatever she's saying isn't getting into my head anymore, it DOESN'T make sense to me. It's just one of those endless and tire words that doesn't sink into my head any longer. Like decomposed material of the soil above the ground, EVENTUALLY it'll be disintergrated, yes.
But it won't be there forever, it'll be removed by means.
So this is it, the next round, i'll be running away, fo real.
When i earn enough, i'll give you whatever i have for you to go get yourself A NEW CHARACTER,
mum.
You'll thank me
Sunday, May 13, 2007
you don't know how it feels to be in love
Here are some things which I have a strong urge to do now,
1) Get a nose piercing. ( I don't exactly know why i wanna get it, but i know that it's something i can fumble around with)
2) Rob 'That CD-Shop' or 'HMV' to upload songs, cause downloading them is butt slow!
3) Seat at 'The Coffee Bean' and eat B N J's ice cream and just wallow over my problems, for we are at Coffee Bean and there is nothing that can be solved at the Coffee Bean
4) Head over to Syahmil's place and calm him down. (That is IF i'll ever do.)
you don't know how it feels to be in love.
1) Get a nose piercing. ( I don't exactly know why i wanna get it, but i know that it's something i can fumble around with)
2) Rob 'That CD-Shop' or 'HMV' to upload songs, cause downloading them is butt slow!
3) Seat at 'The Coffee Bean' and eat B N J's ice cream and just wallow over my problems, for we are at Coffee Bean and there is nothing that can be solved at the Coffee Bean
4) Head over to Syahmil's place and calm him down. (That is IF i'll ever do.)
you don't know how it feels to be in love.
Sunday, May 06, 2007
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
prata with the monkey
Funky Monkey + Erika + Prata = Laughter. True sheer laughter
I totoally gave up the idea of seating down on my desk to study today. I couldn't take it. I just can't sit still and study at home.
I totoally gave up the idea of seating down on my desk to study today. I couldn't take it. I just can't sit still and study at home.
Saturday, April 28, 2007
play with fire erika
They said that you should never ask for more than you have and you should be contented with what you have. Currently i'm living with one of the worst sin a girl could ever be in. Like i'm playing with fire. HOW WONDERFUL IS THAT?!?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Today was sucha love. Met Wan (JB) long lost friend to surprise Wan but he wasn't at skate park. So Poor Eka & me were roaming around. Till me and Eka left, i met Ean and his crazy friends, thus i met new friends. AND I FINALLY FOUND SOMEONE I CAN HANG OUT WITH ON SATURDAYS! (: n Nurul and Yanti are such love. (:
Like met alot of unexpected people ijail, zul. Met Az as well. (: HEH.
Today was sucha great day for me. My heart goes all silly willy now. HEH i've been brought to a world, a different view of it and the people. (: Today is sucha love.
Today was sucha great day for me. My heart goes all silly willy now. HEH i've been brought to a world, a different view of it and the people. (: Today is sucha love.
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that is why i'm playing with fire
Thursday, April 26, 2007
my life this week and the future, oh whatever.
It's 8.46 and i'm in the Learning Lab in school. It's freeeeeeeeeeeeee period. Ms Iris Kee did not come to school again. So i guess i'll make a good use out of this period by updating you earthlings.
1)Mid-years are on friday, next week and next next week. I didn't study much so i can predict the grades that will be screened on my report card.
2)Momma left for Aussie yesterday.
3) My advanced flight to the U.S has been confirmed. So surprises for my hispanic, blondes and brunettes and those with korn-rag doo! CAN'T WAIT I SWEAR!
4) Momma, Daddy and Naomi will be in malaysia DURING my birthday. Church camp without me.
5) KONVICTED @ FORT CANNING PARK! BUZZ ME FOR THE LATEST BUZZ!
6) I have to pay for my phone bill, momma says i have to start getting up on my 2 feet, financially speaking. And my bill, $348.58. HEH. GO ERIKA!
7) I spoke to ______ about an upcoming_______and we're expecting the best outta the outcome. -BEAMS-
I won't spill everything. But i guess i can leave you wondering for the better or for the worst. Life can be a real bitch. But it's pretty fun once in a while. I don't need alot of things to keep me happy, and that includes people too.
1)Mid-years are on friday, next week and next next week. I didn't study much so i can predict the grades that will be screened on my report card.
2)Momma left for Aussie yesterday.
3) My advanced flight to the U.S has been confirmed. So surprises for my hispanic, blondes and brunettes and those with korn-rag doo! CAN'T WAIT I SWEAR!
4) Momma, Daddy and Naomi will be in malaysia DURING my birthday. Church camp without me.
5) KONVICTED @ FORT CANNING PARK! BUZZ ME FOR THE LATEST BUZZ!
6) I have to pay for my phone bill, momma says i have to start getting up on my 2 feet, financially speaking. And my bill, $348.58. HEH. GO ERIKA!
7) I spoke to ______ about an upcoming_______and we're expecting the best outta the outcome. -BEAMS-
I won't spill everything. But i guess i can leave you wondering for the better or for the worst. Life can be a real bitch. But it's pretty fun once in a while. I don't need alot of things to keep me happy, and that includes people too.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
What's happening?
Many apologies for deserting this blog for a few days thoughst.
Alright, i may never be in the right state of mind, or so i conclude from the many 'stuff' that i encounter. Clubbing as actually become something boring to me. Upcoming parties like the one at far east pavillion, Knovicted @ Fort Canning Park, Soft02@ M.o.S. But the MAIN reason why i always look forward to them is because clubbing is my work out. Some weird reasons why. But i know the girls and i got it all covered. (;
This certain kinda love,
This certain kinda romance,
This is how it moves in it's own mysertious ways.
Alright, i may never be in the right state of mind, or so i conclude from the many 'stuff' that i encounter. Clubbing as actually become something boring to me. Upcoming parties like the one at far east pavillion, Knovicted @ Fort Canning Park, Soft02@ M.o.S. But the MAIN reason why i always look forward to them is because clubbing is my work out. Some weird reasons why. But i know the girls and i got it all covered. (;
This certain kinda love,
This certain kinda romance,
This is how it moves in it's own mysertious ways.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Sunday, April 15, 2007
surprises and slapbacks.
Sarah's surprise birthday party was a blast.
(:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEARY! Hoped you were well-ed surprised enough.
If you wanna see photos. Go over to Joy's blog
________________________________________________________________
I'm greatly pressured. WELL technically, i can foresee my future this week. I WILL be pressured. My speech tomorrow, plus TEST(s) and my 'OH level practical. I have yet to finalize my dessert.
Alongside, I've got problems I'm dealing with. I thought by numbing pain, it'd help. Smoking didn't help at all. NO matter how many sticks. It didn't work. Note: If you have a problem with me and the cigarettes. Kindly go screw yourself at one corner. I'm sick of the dis encouragement.
Sigh. Ultimately i wish i didn't give my heart out. I know that eventually time will heal all wounds. But YOU were no different than how a lion would eat it's meat and hunt it's next prey when hungry. Subtle yet hurtful.
i totally lost everything dear to me without seeing.
(:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEARY! Hoped you were well-ed surprised enough.
If you wanna see photos. Go over to Joy's blog
________________________________________________________________
I'm greatly pressured. WELL technically, i can foresee my future this week. I WILL be pressured. My speech tomorrow, plus TEST(s) and my 'OH level practical. I have yet to finalize my dessert.
Alongside, I've got problems I'm dealing with. I thought by numbing pain, it'd help. Smoking didn't help at all. NO matter how many sticks. It didn't work. Note: If you have a problem with me and the cigarettes. Kindly go screw yourself at one corner. I'm sick of the dis encouragement.
Sigh. Ultimately i wish i didn't give my heart out. I know that eventually time will heal all wounds. But YOU were no different than how a lion would eat it's meat and hunt it's next prey when hungry. Subtle yet hurtful.
i totally lost everything dear to me without seeing.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
party hats and thinking hats
Livejournal and Xanga. You make me miserable.
Everyone is moving into xanga and livejournal. -shrugs- i still don't see the point of it. But i hear complaints.
So don't screw anyone else. SCREW TECHNOLOGY!
I'm still debating with my pro's and con's of attending this party on saturday. It's either them or love. I had initial thoughts of bringing him over, but would that be appropiate? Would he feel left out around them? I get along well with his side of his friends. We talk, we skate, we smoke, we do rock n roll. I don't wanna decide on this, so as a beloved request, can someone decide for me instead?
we're all blissfully aware of that humans.
Sunday, April 08, 2007
Unbelievable
I woke up with a huge aching in my head. I fell asleep on the verenda at 4+ due to some drinks i had at starbucks.
Towners = funny people.
My defination of funny people HERE are the people whereby you bump into at night, you say hello, you give them a hug, you chat for a while and then you live. That's towners. But i like to see what people like to dress to. I like people dressing up in their OWN style. Not the trend dressing them up. Everyday i hope to see something fresh, something new, something that can blow my mind and my knickers. :)
I broke my record yesterday for staying at Far East for a good 5 hour odd at Gallery. HELL i was bored together with Ramlee. I pee-ed more than 3 times. I drank bubble tea. I did NOT smoke. And alot of people think i work at Gallery, though sometimes I'm NO WHERE near the counter. Maybe i'll take up the job during my free days.
Yet i was glad to have found Joy, Amanda, Delyse, Sean, Chloe and Zechary at far east. Chilled out for a while before heading down to cini to meet
Nur HidaYAT . Yes it's that Taufik-Look-Alike/Heartbreaker/Monkey/Dreamer.
The meeting was with all good intentions, though i know many of you can't wait to kill me for meeting up with that jerk, on monday.
We had drinks at starbucks. We caught up. And we're impressed at the tremendous change at both ourselves. I guess huh. We talked about the past, i made him feel guilty, i felt good about it though. I enjoyed talking. But for some weird feelings, i didn't want the night to end.
He sent me to the bus-stop, the least that i wanted out of that meeting was our deepest truths and feelings. We played for a while, we kissed and bid each other good-bye. Now we realised that we miss each other.
The sad part is i'm in in love with another, and it won't be fair to the other. The sad truth is that it's wrong for us to go on, but truth is i miss him anyway.
I Wish you didnt love me
I wish youd make this easy
It was love that caught me
Now it's fear that keeps me with you
I want to be by your side
So I can close my eyes
To the growing emptiness inside that kills me
When I'm with you
You try to break me
Try to hate me
So you can fall out of love
You want to make me believe that I'm crazy
That I'm nothing with out you
It's unbelievable but I believed you
Unforgivable but I forgave you
Insane what love can do
That keeps me coming back to you
You're irreplaceable but I'll replace you
Now I'm standing on my own
Alone.
Towners = funny people.
My defination of funny people HERE are the people whereby you bump into at night, you say hello, you give them a hug, you chat for a while and then you live. That's towners. But i like to see what people like to dress to. I like people dressing up in their OWN style. Not the trend dressing them up. Everyday i hope to see something fresh, something new, something that can blow my mind and my knickers. :)
I broke my record yesterday for staying at Far East for a good 5 hour odd at Gallery. HELL i was bored together with Ramlee. I pee-ed more than 3 times. I drank bubble tea. I did NOT smoke. And alot of people think i work at Gallery, though sometimes I'm NO WHERE near the counter. Maybe i'll take up the job during my free days.
Yet i was glad to have found Joy, Amanda, Delyse, Sean, Chloe and Zechary at far east. Chilled out for a while before heading down to cini to meet
Nur HidaYAT . Yes it's that Taufik-Look-Alike/Heartbreaker/Monkey/Dreamer.
The meeting was with all good intentions, though i know many of you can't wait to kill me for meeting up with that jerk, on monday.
We had drinks at starbucks. We caught up. And we're impressed at the tremendous change at both ourselves. I guess huh. We talked about the past, i made him feel guilty, i felt good about it though. I enjoyed talking. But for some weird feelings, i didn't want the night to end.
He sent me to the bus-stop, the least that i wanted out of that meeting was our deepest truths and feelings. We played for a while, we kissed and bid each other good-bye. Now we realised that we miss each other.
The sad part is i'm in in love with another, and it won't be fair to the other. The sad truth is that it's wrong for us to go on, but truth is i miss him anyway.
I Wish you didnt love me
I wish youd make this easy
It was love that caught me
Now it's fear that keeps me with you
I want to be by your side
So I can close my eyes
To the growing emptiness inside that kills me
When I'm with you
You try to break me
Try to hate me
So you can fall out of love
You want to make me believe that I'm crazy
That I'm nothing with out you
It's unbelievable but I believed you
Unforgivable but I forgave you
Insane what love can do
That keeps me coming back to you
You're irreplaceable but I'll replace you
Now I'm standing on my own
Alone.
Friday, April 06, 2007
pretty faces, dirty minds
I realised and it hit me, it's this question that has been hunting me for some weeks.
I finally see that
PEOPLE ONLY LIKE ME WHEN I'M PRETTY.
I finally see that
PEOPLE ONLY LIKE ME WHEN I'M PRETTY.
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
ummmm right.
I might as well abandon this blog and go fly away. Anyway, recently i did some spring cleaning in my room. Dare say i'm proud of myself.
the second shelf 
the last shelf
LOL i don't think any of you want to see what's inside the closet. It's UBER MESSY.
Monday, April 02, 2007
a daughter's letter.
Momma is pissing me to my poooops. I swear i hate to be yelled at early in the morning. Because
1) I'll get grumpy in the day
2) I won't be able to think straight because i'm too absorbed in getting angry at mom.
Mom. I swear being your daughter isn't as nice as you being my mum. I hate you at times and sometimes i love you. I hate you and your friends. I can't believe that you actually trust them and not me. Me your very own flesh and blood. Me who gave you that baby joy in life. Dad's sick and tired of your temper, so am i. Naomi? Now i know where she gets that mean, hot-tempered streak of hers now. It's just so you to bring me and dad down infront of everyone. You can scream all you want at me, because it goes all out of my ears. And whatever you always say falls on deaf ears too.
Don't act all christian-y and stuff. It's revolting to the stomach.
Don't act all nice too me after you've vent your anger at me, it's an earsore.
Tell me once you're ready to act like a mother. I'll be out there in life probably teaching my kids the best and i pray they grow up never to be like you. I'll bring them up as my own pride and joy, and i'll believe them. Because i love them.
I wonder Ma, have you even ever loved us?
Your daughter,
erika.
1) I'll get grumpy in the day
2) I won't be able to think straight because i'm too absorbed in getting angry at mom.
Mom. I swear being your daughter isn't as nice as you being my mum. I hate you at times and sometimes i love you. I hate you and your friends. I can't believe that you actually trust them and not me. Me your very own flesh and blood. Me who gave you that baby joy in life. Dad's sick and tired of your temper, so am i. Naomi? Now i know where she gets that mean, hot-tempered streak of hers now. It's just so you to bring me and dad down infront of everyone. You can scream all you want at me, because it goes all out of my ears. And whatever you always say falls on deaf ears too.
Don't act all christian-y and stuff. It's revolting to the stomach.
Don't act all nice too me after you've vent your anger at me, it's an earsore.
Tell me once you're ready to act like a mother. I'll be out there in life probably teaching my kids the best and i pray they grow up never to be like you. I'll bring them up as my own pride and joy, and i'll believe them. Because i love them.
I wonder Ma, have you even ever loved us?
Your daughter,
erika.
Saturday, March 31, 2007
why wait
It is a lovely saturday i know. And what am i doing at home at such an early hour? ASK MUM.
I'd be out there by now, just galavanting on the stairs and ramps and pipes of somerset. But noooooo, mum wanted me home to show face.
April 3rd love. [: can't wait.
I'd be out there by now, just galavanting on the stairs and ramps and pipes of somerset. But noooooo, mum wanted me home to show face.
April 3rd love. [: can't wait.
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
harry's invisibility cloak
Hey readers i've got something to tell you.
Have you guys ever tried to play the part of invisible girl or boy? Even in a relationship?
Have you guys ever tried to play the part of invisible girl or boy? Even in a relationship?
Well being stubborn may lead your ass into hot soup sometimes.
I've played invisible girl for a short period, i don't wanna prolong it any further. Because the guilt i feel is over my head and under my feet. It's a shadow that's casting over me.
I should be talking to someone who'se been in my shoes. BUT it seemes like no one has been.
I wish i could disappear.
Friday, March 23, 2007
Disappearing acts
I meet the weirdest characters in my life. These weird characters make me laugh, they give me good laughs. And i mean they really know how to make me laugh. Because they bring the laughter to my life.
I also meet the characters which i DON'T KNOW where to catergorise under. They are the ones that enter my life, stay for a day or 2 or a week or so, and all of a sudden they DISAPPEAR.
There are also the characters who are uber nice to me, and they really really really care for me. But i kinda mess things up. Or i just twist and turn the story, INTENTIONALLY. Sigh.'
It seems like i'm loosing more than i gain this year, well that's how i feel. I've lost a totoal up to 10 people. THIS YEAR. Though we still do talk, we know there's this sense of human frailty we can't avoid.
I admit i don't like AWKWARDNESS, cause i don't know what to do next. That's there and then you get me right where you want me. YOU DISAPPEAR.
I also meet the characters which i DON'T KNOW where to catergorise under. They are the ones that enter my life, stay for a day or 2 or a week or so, and all of a sudden they DISAPPEAR.
There are also the characters who are uber nice to me, and they really really really care for me. But i kinda mess things up. Or i just twist and turn the story, INTENTIONALLY. Sigh.'
It seems like i'm loosing more than i gain this year, well that's how i feel. I've lost a totoal up to 10 people. THIS YEAR. Though we still do talk, we know there's this sense of human frailty we can't avoid.
I admit i don't like AWKWARDNESS, cause i don't know what to do next. That's there and then you get me right where you want me. YOU DISAPPEAR.
it's so you, to run away from your feelings and NEVER come back.
Thursday, March 22, 2007
school's little things
Alright i bet you readers out there are ready to hold a gun on my head and shoot me for not doing my holy duties of updating. But complain no more, i'm HERE. (:
At the moment. it's the 22nd of March, 10:50 pm, i'm at the school library, i'm feeling normal.
My days have been pretty going on good. Not bad not good but it's good. ( like HUH?!?) Well, for once i'm back into the world of nagging, coursework, homework, textbooks, and test. The fresh smell of papers, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh GLOBAL WARMING. I hate school, casue they waste paper. I hate school cause we have the dumbest rules. I hate school cause of EERIE-tating prefects. I hate school cause M.o.E is changing their education policy. (So FINE, so be it. If death rates are increasing, we can just blame it on the education system for stressing our guts out that cause us to have intentional scuicide. SCREW Y-O-U!)
Then again, i love school cause of, duh, friends. I've got the most craziest, prettiest, loveable bunch of friends ever. (: I love school, cause i like to break the rules. HAWHAW! I love school, because of......um.........er.......i just love school for the sake of loving.
Anyway, it's funny how Singaporeans react to things and how they live their life. I plan to make a documentary on you people though. It's kinda interesting yet applaudeble too. HEH. I won't pen it down as goal, cause i can never seem to accomplish my goals. So my best goal ever, is to carry on finding a goal. (:
Hmmmmm on another hand, let's take my right hand. Scandalous behaviour has been going on. -bites tongue-i've been a very very very very very bad girl. HURHURHUR!
At the moment. it's the 22nd of March, 10:50 pm, i'm at the school library, i'm feeling normal.
My days have been pretty going on good. Not bad not good but it's good. ( like HUH?!?) Well, for once i'm back into the world of nagging, coursework, homework, textbooks, and test. The fresh smell of papers, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh GLOBAL WARMING. I hate school, casue they waste paper. I hate school cause we have the dumbest rules. I hate school cause of EERIE-tating prefects. I hate school cause M.o.E is changing their education policy. (So FINE, so be it. If death rates are increasing, we can just blame it on the education system for stressing our guts out that cause us to have intentional scuicide. SCREW Y-O-U!)
Then again, i love school cause of, duh, friends. I've got the most craziest, prettiest, loveable bunch of friends ever. (: I love school, cause i like to break the rules. HAWHAW! I love school, because of......um.........er.......i just love school for the sake of loving.
Anyway, it's funny how Singaporeans react to things and how they live their life. I plan to make a documentary on you people though. It's kinda interesting yet applaudeble too. HEH. I won't pen it down as goal, cause i can never seem to accomplish my goals. So my best goal ever, is to carry on finding a goal. (:
Hmmmmm on another hand, let's take my right hand. Scandalous behaviour has been going on. -bites tongue-i've been a very very very very very bad girl. HURHURHUR!
Sunday, March 18, 2007
plant sunflowers in my head
Summer break is over. Yea.
I'll never forget the series that collate up to summer love.
I'll go plant sunflowers in my head now.
I'll never forget the series that collate up to summer love.
I'll go plant sunflowers in my head now.
Thursday, March 15, 2007
summer love. THANKS FOR THE SUMMER
Oh summer love, summer love. STAY and NEVER EVER CHANGE PLEASE.
Let me see. My body is burnt, like ONLY the body. It's like this i tell y
ou
ouJust concentrate on his body. THAT'S HOW MY BODY LOOKS! ):
Skate park=love. Irritating Ramly=SMILES. Cassie,Izman,Shafiz=DOUBLE SMILE. Fried Mars Bars=Bliss. [:
Monday, March 12, 2007
instigator with a sad smile
Today marks the last day i'll ever spend with Wan. And off will his ass be at boot camp. Skate park. Far east. 7-11. I'll never forget the time spent. I cried infront of him. More like wailing. But i couldn't help. I cried even more when he left me at the subway. HOWEVER ALL THE FAGS AND FAGGOTS IN THE MRT COULDN'T BE EVEN NICE ENOUGH TO EVEN GIVE ME A TISSUE. And to say that Singaporeans have a big heart, YEA RIGHT. BULLSHIT!
Sigh. I know i have tons and hoards of friends to surround me with. But out of that many of them, how many of them can i really call them 'FRIEND'? Maybe 10, maybe less. Skate park won't ever be the same with my boy around anymore. Sure i get to see Batam and gang and the rest, but it just won't evern be the same.
Wan,
I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing..
Aku cinta pada mu. (:
ohhh and i got my second navel piercing.
but the instigator game is still on!!!!!!!!!!
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Skateboarding is not a crime.
VANS SKATE JAM! was the real highlight of my month, and maybe my year. Gawd how i gave up so many things just to be there but it was worth my time. Caught up with people i haven't met for months and some even years.
That joy that i felt yesterday, was too exhilarating to described. I met the pros from indonesia and thailand. The atmosphere was just great, despite it was hot. Still goood. I just don't know how to comprehend it all in sentence or a paragraph but you must be there to see and to feel. TO be part of the dream that we skaters dream of. And now for the first time in a longest time, i want to go back to skate-boarding again. SIGH. It's heaven.
there are days where i'll end up like this dude though. HEH
but some day, i can't wait to feel the thrill and the chill in the air.
hung out with nick and his people. Fo real. I think i'm finally coming back to the world where i belong. I'm finally meeting the people whom i called on friends. The people who picked me up when i fall of the board.
I can't wait for all the surprises.
Ahhhh during service, something happend. Actually after service. Joy and Van knows. Whatever it is, they know i rock, i know i do too. HEH.
That joy that i felt yesterday, was too exhilarating to described. I met the pros from indonesia and thailand. The atmosphere was just great, despite it was hot. Still goood. I just don't know how to comprehend it all in sentence or a paragraph but you must be there to see and to feel. TO be part of the dream that we skaters dream of. And now for the first time in a longest time, i want to go back to skate-boarding again. SIGH. It's heaven.
there are days where i'll end up like this dude though. HEH
but some day, i can't wait to feel the thrill and the chill in the air.
hung out with nick and his people. Fo real. I think i'm finally coming back to the world where i belong. I'm finally meeting the people whom i called on friends. The people who picked me up when i fall of the board.
I can't wait for all the surprises.
Ahhhh during service, something happend. Actually after service. Joy and Van knows. Whatever it is, they know i rock, i know i do too. HEH.
Friday, March 09, 2007
i'll carry you when your arthiritis is bad
My voice is very very very very very sexy. and sexy and S-E-X-Y! It's the S-E-X man! LOL
Right. Well march holidays are on the roll, and i'm not the least excited. I hate N.S for stealing friends/brothers/boyfriends away. And i wish they could stop changing all the sickening rules.
Life has been well life. Friendshp goes up right left and center. Parents go north south east west. Situations go here and there and everywhere.
NOTHING INTERESTING!
and i'll miss you.
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Monday, March 05, 2007
what holiday?
OH JELLYBEANS AND GUMMYBEARS! What for do i keep a blog when i don't bother to update it most of the times.
Let's just say i have been really busy. My body clock is beginning to understand that I AM deprived of sleep during school days. But I wonder how the hell did Bill Clinton got use to having 30 years deprived of sleep? Whatever.
Ahh crap. THIS is like my schedual for march holidays
Saturday- Samar at Arab streeet. Church. (BOOK ME!)
Sunday- Crazy professor's tution
Monday- (BOOK ME! I'M FREE!)
Tuesday- 10-1 chem/bio classesw in school. Rompe II at St James. The Clinic?
Wednesday-(BOOK ME! I'M FREE!)
Thursday- FnN camp=overnight in school=staring at the computer for A day=crappy meals=neverending zoink!
Friday-FnN camp finishes. Classes till like 1.
Saturday- Church? PLAY ON @ DXO.
mmmmm just went online shopping and retail shopping. Bought a sweet Voodoo doll trucker cap from the weekend designer blog's. (Thanks joy for introducing!) And skinny jeans from Topshop. Zara and Mango were crap. Mango's new collection is even more crap. But i don't feel a sense of happYness though. -shrugs-
Alright, getting to the serious bit.
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN OR EVEN BOTHER, EAD HERE!
It's true that you don't know what you've got till it's gone, but it's also true that you don't know that it'll be gone till you know it's missing. I feel insensitive to those people who care for me so much, yet alone too much. I wish all you readers out there would learn to cherish the people that care for you the most. I lost a good guy friend, E. It won't be the same will it? Not ever? Not never? And then shortly just yesterday, my other good guy friend, Wan went for N.S.
I've never felt so alone before. The midnight calls and messages. The outings after school or on Saturdays. The visits to ex-Parallel and Gallery where we crap. The talks. The bitching. The love. The bond. The hugs. The kisses. The 'US'. Right there before my eye, i just watch it tumble and slowly die.
Why can't i stop hurting these type of people? Why can't i understand? Why can't anyone be ere anymore?
Let's just say i have been really busy. My body clock is beginning to understand that I AM deprived of sleep during school days. But I wonder how the hell did Bill Clinton got use to having 30 years deprived of sleep? Whatever.
Ahh crap. THIS is like my schedual for march holidays
Saturday- Samar at Arab streeet. Church. (BOOK ME!)
Sunday- Crazy professor's tution
Monday- (BOOK ME! I'M FREE!)
Tuesday- 10-1 chem/bio classesw in school. Rompe II at St James. The Clinic?
Wednesday-(BOOK ME! I'M FREE!)
Thursday- FnN camp=overnight in school=staring at the computer for A day=crappy meals=neverending zoink!
Friday-FnN camp finishes. Classes till like 1.
Saturday- Church? PLAY ON @ DXO.
mmmmm just went online shopping and retail shopping. Bought a sweet Voodoo doll trucker cap from the weekend designer blog's. (Thanks joy for introducing!) And skinny jeans from Topshop. Zara and Mango were crap. Mango's new collection is even more crap. But i don't feel a sense of happYness though. -shrugs-
Alright, getting to the serious bit.
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN OR EVEN BOTHER, EAD HERE!
It's true that you don't know what you've got till it's gone, but it's also true that you don't know that it'll be gone till you know it's missing. I feel insensitive to those people who care for me so much, yet alone too much. I wish all you readers out there would learn to cherish the people that care for you the most. I lost a good guy friend, E. It won't be the same will it? Not ever? Not never? And then shortly just yesterday, my other good guy friend, Wan went for N.S.
I've never felt so alone before. The midnight calls and messages. The outings after school or on Saturdays. The visits to ex-Parallel and Gallery where we crap. The talks. The bitching. The love. The bond. The hugs. The kisses. The 'US'. Right there before my eye, i just watch it tumble and slowly die.
Why can't i stop hurting these type of people? Why can't i understand? Why can't anyone be ere anymore?
Thursday, March 01, 2007
unsaid
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
school is gobbling me up like how cookie monster eats his cookies. heh.
Did i tell you? That i have to come back to school for EXTRA lessons, there's FnN overnight camp, whereby i stick my ass to the chair and stare at the computer for A day.
I have many things to say, but it seems i never have the time to upload it all up. I got myself into a pickle though. ):
To S,
There's never a right time to say goodbye
But I gotta make the first move
'Cause if I don't you gonna start hating me
Cause I really don't feel the way I once felt about you
BOY it's not you, it's me I gotta gotta figure out what I need
There's never a right time to say goodbye
But we know that we gotta go
Our separate ways
And I know it's hard but I gotta do it,
And it's killing me
Cause there's never a right time
Right time to say goodbye.
To E,
my friend till the end. This is for youl;
I miss you...
I miss your smile
And I still shead a tear
Every once in a while
And even though we're different now
You'll still hear somehow
My heart won't let you go and i need you to know
i miss you
Shalalalala
i miss you
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
school is gobbling me up like how cookie monster eats his cookies. heh.
Did i tell you? That i have to come back to school for EXTRA lessons, there's FnN overnight camp, whereby i stick my ass to the chair and stare at the computer for A day.
I have many things to say, but it seems i never have the time to upload it all up. I got myself into a pickle though. ):
To S,
There's never a right time to say goodbye
But I gotta make the first move
'Cause if I don't you gonna start hating me
Cause I really don't feel the way I once felt about you
BOY it's not you, it's me I gotta gotta figure out what I need
There's never a right time to say goodbye
But we know that we gotta go
Our separate ways
And I know it's hard but I gotta do it,
And it's killing me
Cause there's never a right time
Right time to say goodbye.
To E,
my friend till the end. This is for youl;
I miss you...
I miss your smile
And I still shead a tear
Every once in a while
And even though we're different now
You'll still hear somehow
My heart won't let you go and i need you to know
i miss you
Shalalalala
i miss you
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