disappointment zone

Be efficient, NOT slobs.
Take the initiative, NOT advantage.

And thats where i'll be caving in till someone steps up and START doing something not just say it.

Because i'm sick and tired of trying to please others

It's ring ting tingaling

I think by the end of the year i should be changing my email add and maybe a new blog or something. Or both. I am suppose to be reading up on 6p's for cognitive ut tomorrow, but after i read problem 9,8,7. I gave up already. See see so jaded with life in rp that i even gave up reading on a few meagre slides. -slaps forhead-

So anyway, as 12 is nearing in all our clocks, i can make a conclusion to end today with a goood note. That life is the most craziest shit sometimes. And so is love. (: You know I don't know how many of you people out there yell, quarrel, squabble, wrestle, kill, slap, kick, fart, punch, holler at/with your partner. But do you make up in the end with the kiss and make out to make up kinda process? Hello all, I'm erika and I'm attached to an amazing person by the name of Stefanus Tan Lian Hock. We've been together for almost 7 (next week friday) month. And we have always had our quarrels like little kids. But nonetheless, although we enjoy the sessions after the fights, most importantly we know that we still love each other very much and we will always will. I have learnt so much from him and i've learnt to see the world at a different view ever since. It's good to know that I still learn and also that when i fall i can never fail to be picked up once again with the help of a beloved. He's been there and he's also my utmost pride and joy and my importance.

I understand that most of you has seen a big transformation from that Erika that we all once knew, and isn't that a relief for most of my girls and for my boys that FINALLY the playa has settled down. And it's a jolly euphoric feeling. (: Throughout this 7 months (and more to come) that i have been with him, i've learnt one lesson that no man has ever thought me. Call me young, foolishg and hopelessly in love. But wait till you fall in love, that you'll realise that it is being imersed in such feelings(: That love was never just feelings shared by 2, but an ability, the want to better yourself and help your partner along the way to know that you can never find another because like the lock and key hypothesis, only the significant other can feel sentiments and pick up all the qualities about the other and slowly understand how you grow to fall in love with such an amazing person. But most importantly, is that love never fails, it always hopes and it always endures.

P.s: Lights are all up in town and tis the season to be jolly. HELL JOLLY YEA!(: What a christmas it'll be! (:

tag a reply

Whoever said love was easy, please leave a tag.
Whoever said that love was NOT easy, also please leave a tag.

I'm glad that i'm 18 and considered only in love like a young fool or idiot, whichever the latter prefers, and not choosing my life partner yet. (or is he?) Well in any case, i know it's been said that the more you fight it is suppose to bring 2 people closer. I'm not gonna say 'screw that shit' but i agree myself. However is it sickening to always fight and fight about the smallest matter sometimes, or even blowing it to make it a big matter than fighting about it?

gawd im so dead.

One thing i can tell you about getting food poisoning it's a big NO-NO! And it's not the coolest shit fo real, apart for not going to school for 3 days now. Yea well wednesday and i'm still at home with a churning tummy and bad yucky shit. ): It sucks getting this food poisoning. Not the sex i say! And in any minute i will go running to the toilet again. There i go. Brb.

Ok i'll leave the details of that out. But im still trying to figure out what caused this.
a) the lunch i had at the food court on saturday?
b) the wedding dinner at changi village?
whatever the cause was i wish the churning would stop!!!!!

i hate you mom

I fucking hate you and this puppet that i play for you in this thing called life.
I hate you for everything you have become forever that someone who is always twisting and contouring your wrods.
I hate you for every single thing i've become and i STILL pray everyday that when i grow up, i don't ever become like the woman in you.
I hate you, mom.

hallow-scream

Pictures of hallow-scream!(: HAHAHAHA sorry for the late post!

ice-cream and good books don't come by

-runs around in circles- If i were hexed, i were to think that some magical fairy, probably a book loving fairy might have accidentally sprinkled some dust on me and now i'm addicted to going to the library. So far out of 2 weeks i've borred 7 books so far and i've completed reading 3. Nononono i refuse to belive im turning into a bookworm, this i INSIST that a fairy accidentally poured her dust on me!

Anyway, how many of you keep dogs and actually feed your dog ice-cream? I brought my little sister,(she's 13, so i shouldn't be calling her little right???) for ice-cream at ice-kimo with the mutt, zacky. That cock was busy playing a fool that the dog jumped up and licked the ice-cream. Here i show you the picture of my sister and the dog.

She with the wild strawberry ice-cream

Zacky, begging for food. (always)

Enjoying his victory

Oblivious to the camera

Full after a good walk and good ice-cream.

*pictures of halloween scream party will be up soon! (: Enjoy.

my energy

I wish I could rip out a page of my memory
Cuz I put to much enegry in him and me
Can't wait til I get through this phase
Cuz it's killing me
To bad we can't re-write our own history

Such a mystery when he's here with me
It's hard to believe I'm still lonely
Chances fading now, patience running out
This ain't how it's supposed to be

I'm having nightmares
From sleeping with the enemy
We gotta re-reverse the chemistry
I don't want us to be the end of me
This love is taking all of my energy
Energy, My Energy
Taking all my energy
Energy, My Energy
Taking all of (my energy)

Seems only like yesterday
Not even gravity
Could keep your feet
Off the ground
When u go to me
How can two be as one
We've become to divided now
There's no use hiding from my misery
Such a mystery when he's here with me
It's hard to believe I'm still lonely
Chances fading now, patience running out
This ain't how it's supposed to be

I'm having nightmares
From sleeping with the enemy (Oh, Yeah)
We gotta re-reverse the chemistry
(We gotta re-)
I don't want us to be the end of me
This love is taking all of my energy
Energy, My Energy
Taking all my energy (Energy)
Energy (Energy), My Energy (Energy)
Taking all of

Cause your taking all of my energy
I'm having nightmares
From sleeping with the enemy
We gotta reverse the chemistry
I don't want us to be the end of me
This love is taking all of my energy

I'm having nightmares
From sleeping with the enemy (Oh)
We gotta reverse the chemistry (Oh, Oh)
I don't want us to be the end of me
This love
Is taking all of my energy (Energy)
Energy (Energy), My Energy (Oh)
Taking all my energy (Oh-Oh)
Energy, My Energy (Taking all of me)
Taking all of

Ya killing me
Ya taking all of me yeah, oh
This love is taking all of my energy

energy

i wish i could rip out a page from my memory because i put too much energy in it.

Sometimes i think that in this instituition that i'm learning at, teaches us things which are pretty useful. But then with the knowlege that it is instilled with us it contradicts to the faccilitator's comments and thus it can be used as a rebuttal back. I have realized that this sem's grading has been Unpleasent, with a capital U. It seems i've been getting more C's then the usuallly A's and B's. And the only time i get C's is when I skip school half way. Let's not take the Understanding Test into consideratin here and focus on the daily grades, but have any of you guys realized that your grades this term have been an eyesore unlike last term's? And although you write and say so much sensible crap that seems like you know what you're talking about, you get a 'c' because why? You were talkative, You did not talk much (although you were the nosiest and producing a ppt), You wrote a philosopical rj? Redundant eh?

So that's why i still insist that i'd rather go back to the last time traditional method of writing compositions given specific topics and then talk about it in the best possible details. I don't see a very pleasent future afterall.

i was right ALL ALONG

Oh oh… [3x]

I never knew that I was dealing with the graduate
With a major in defensive and a minor in excuses
It’s not that hard to say your wrong, admit it oh go on, go on

You know I wouldn’t want to make you feel worse then you should
But if you were me you’d do the same (you know you would, you know you would)
It’s not that hard to say your wrong admit it oh go on, go on

Oh oh…
It mean everything, just to hear you say to me
That I was right, and you were wrong
It’s not that hard go on, go on

It mean everything, just to hear you say to me
That I was right, and you were wrong
It’s not that hard go on, go on

I know you know it’s all your fault, and I should let this go
But I need to here you say love (it’s principal, it’s principle)
It’s not that hard to say your wrong, admit it oh go on, go on

Oh oh..

It mean everything, just to hear you say to me
That I was right, and you were wrong
It’s not that hard go on, go on

It mean everything, just to hear you say to me
I was right, and you were wrong
It’s not that hard go on, go on

I was right, you were wrong go on go on
Go on go on…

It would mean everything
(But your so smart and this never ends)
So I tell you that I love you, and blow you a kiss
(But until you say your sorry, well that’s all your gonna get oh..)
That’s all your gonna get oh

Oh oh... [2x]

It mean everything, just to hear you say to me
That I was right, and you were wrong
It’s not that hard go on, go on

It mean everything, just to hear you say to me
I was right, and you were wrong
It’s not that hard go on, go on

I was right, and you were wrong
It’s not that hard go on, go on

stoneages

In the near future, i can be the last to know about everything and anything. That's why i think i fit perfectly well in the stone ages, with all my made up idiosyncratic theories. I'd fit PERFECTLY well there.

Appealing day

Saturday's lunch was spent with Azhar, before we met with his friend. And then whilst waiting for that idiot at Borders, I came across this book:

Had to get it as Stef has always been raving about getting the book, so without any hesitation, I bought the book and left the store with Azhar heartedly at the content of buying a good book. And after that it was Jalan-Rayaing at Shazni's place, damn damn sedap eh the food. Almost, the whole soccer team down there! Fairoz was back! So it was a pretty egg-citing night! Oh and i wore my dress that day too! (: ok and pictures for friday's outing of celebrating Bel's birthday and saturday's raya night is suppose to be here in my email. But ma-ner people? Cepat!

So after the whole night when Stef sent me home, i gave him the book
erika: eh i have something to give to you
(opens Bag and takes out the Border's plastic bag)
Stef: OMG. BABY! AHHHHHHH! -frantic hysteria-
Erika: -smiles gleefully-
Stef: THANK YOU! -starts to sing Frank Sinatra's-The way you look tonight-
Erika: Ok stop it already! Shut up!

Ayyyy, second last week to a week's holiday already.

1 dress to 27 dresses

Remember the last time i said that i was going to try at my own hand making my very own tube dress? Well, i'm done! Haha well sort of done actually, i just need to sew up the hem of the bottom of the dress and sew some more hemmings here and there. So i'll just give you a quick preview of how the cloth looks like, and then on another day i'll give you a photo of the entire piece! (:

Yea. I painstakingly used my hand instead of the sewing machine because my hands and heart were going giddy-yup.

And oh i ask, but how many actually enjoy eating at Cafe Cartel? Ok maybe it's my tummy, i love the ribs there, i think it's the only thing edible. But whenever i eat something that has cheese on the menu, i get a tummy ache that get's me going to the toilet 3-4 times. But just yesterday on a dinner with Stef & Ben, i had the fish sandwhich and i had NO tummy aches. Queer. Here i present;

i don't like school

And the weekend is.......gone. Because;

Have a little faith in me

"You know it's love when you see the world in his eyes, and his eyes everywhere in the world. "

You don't know me very well enough.

If i can choose a date to start living my own life, i'd choose it now and at this very hour. Without any impromptu plans or whatsoever. It's today.
And if i wanna choose a date to walk out and leave, it's going to be today.
I've changed all passwords and status, so you can see that i'm finally going to make up my mind to a chapter that i might want to stop writing.
And if you do apologise, i hope you're sorry that i'm about to move on.

leap of faith

So wait for awhile and see what love can do to you. Don't hold back but rather absorb and seize every moment for it my friend. Love is an ultimate leap of faith. You got your faith, don't you?

Erika

dissed

and mommy told me once that i shouldn't bother, because i'll find someone who will love me like no other.

do you know that your love is the sweetest?

I have this class-mate by the name of Marvin, and he was the first person whom i sticked my tongue on the first day at sem 2. And i was also the first to call him MUFFIN instead of Marvin. However one thing of Muffin's possesion that always fascinated me was the dog-tag around his neck.

Yea that's a partial picture of Muffin's body btw. But what struck me about the dog tag of his was, he had a pair instead of 1. So out of curosity i asked "why was the other one empty?" and he gave me a reply with a hearty smile telling me it would be kept for that someone truly special to him and someone he might just wanna marry. And yea being the typical girl who would gush over the cute-est and most sweetest thing heard and seen, i 'AWWWW'ED pretty hysertically. Pretty much to show that the future girl would always be kept close to his heart. It's just the most darnest, most damest, sweetest thing.

Nah i'm not advertising for Muffin on my blog. But thought i'd share it with you readers out there. (:

Because technology is so crue to us, we can now leave comments without a name or trace, and absentmindedly crush little people down.

wake me when it'll be over, maybe you can shout

You're always there to say that "You do as you please.....only ends up in a heated argument"

but half the time you tell me "up to you"
And just tonight, you told me you couldn't care anymore.

Sure you are the first to really take care of me when i'm sick, but did you know you're the first to have frequently raised his voice at me and yell at me?

the flea bug that got me sick at the flea market

Of all the random things i decided to do; I told Erika PAULA that i'll meet her on saturday. And BOOO-YEA, glad i did! Apart from the catching up we did and the normal side-track of 'dang she's hot' we walked over to Singapore Art Musem, thinking we were really going to look at some art stuff, turned out to be a flea market! (ZOINKS) And i didn't give 2 shits to worry if i had enough money to eat! I bought, 1 long white vintage looking top, 1 white vintage looking top, 1 green/blue croppish top, and 1 Rick-Owen's brown looking jacket. And all of it for a good $40 bucks. Erika Paula got 2 really god-damn looking dresses as well. (: Although stef & i emo-ed at clark quay, and we almost threw up at every 20 steps. Haha.

Holla back girl

Ok before i pen down the rest of my thoughts, i thought i'd like to take this special post just for today, for a big HOLLA to Haney who's been saying some not very nice stuff about me. (she's on my tagboard)

Dear Haney, please don't think i don't know who you are, because I do. You're Shafiq's ex. The very same girl who texted me eons and eons ago to leave your boyfriend alone. But I would like to thank you for actually leaving your true name behind. Because it goes to show that you do like to settle scores in a civilized manner.And correct me if you must, but you must be my age this year, 18 and if i'm not wrong studying at mdis? And another thing, if your anger is to take out on me because i was friends with your boyfriend. Could you please be a little more sensible enough? If there's something shafiq never told you, i was never his fling or girl, i was just his friend, and i have evidence to prove that very fact.

Secondly, i do not have the slightest idea on what gives you the right to judge someone as ugly?Because before you do that, always do a little judgement & soul searching on yourself. 1) what do you determine as ugly? Because talks of how 'beauty is seen in everything' would backfire itself? 2) I don't believe that i have any affect in your life one way or another. But if i've dysfunctioned it someway or another, drop me another tag.

Thirdly, do not bring me into any of your past shit with shafiq, if so i might as well you give the list of names of the girls who he's been going out with and why not bother them and let them be part of your baseless critism as well. And for tits sake, let it go would yer? (he didn't tell me this) But have a little more dignity and just let it go. If you hate me, fine, by all means, i'm good and i have friends who are worth of my time. I do admit that i do have an idiosyncrastic side of me but i'm not using a rifle like those soldiers used in the middle east war to point at the minds to point at your head to tell you to accept my idiosyncrasy because that would be too domineering of me now won't it? So for my tits sake, how can i affect you again?

Although you merely tagged about 3-4 times, those baseless criticsm makes my day and it allowed me something to blog about. I'm expecting that you're gonna tag again, but feel free too. Whether you're gonna be mean or nice, what do i care? My confidence and my zest for life does not depend on anyone's opinion or judgement of me. I have a rough gauge on who you are, but i'm not judging you like how you judged me, your assesment of the person that is me should have any creditability at all for me to give a shit about what you think.

Again i'll say, have a chill pill & take a century to think of what you can say to me more. Have a good day.

Under the cherryblossom i'll be your shelter still

Nisha,

It was not too long ago
You sought to understand
You helped me mend
Remember when
So promise me you'll
Call my name
Let me be an answer
'cause it hurts me to see you this way
I wanna ease your pain
Help me understand
Let my be your shelter my friend

with all my love,
erika

Frankalin

Do you remember how we use to make each other feel?
Do you remember that one time when I came down to the park and wore my fisherman berms and you said i look like a 'Kampong-Minah'?
Do you remember how you use to talk to me like as though no one was ever around?
Do you remember how i use to creep under the bed with the phone/laptop in my hand and i'd talked really hush so that i wouldn't make a sound?
Do you remember that?

And only now, how did you ever found the courage to come talk to me, when i have been waiting under the vanishing sky everyday to come talk to you? And would it hurt to say i miss you my friend?

ice cream love

Stef & I are one crazy couple. We fight almost what it may seem every week. And through a very good friend of mine, she said that we fight over the most stupidest thing because we're afraid to loose one another. However we're so much better now, and that ordeal made us even more stronger. (: Amazing really. His love that is. And every fun thing we've been doing is making us go whooo-peee-dooo. Having mud pie at Island Creamery at Serene Centre was one of the accomplishments for this weekend. Although they gave us a really shitty pie, who cared anyway, because the best ingredient was the fact that i shared it with love. (:

Oh and hear ye, hear ye, i've bought the cloth already! I can't wait to start the expedition of messing with cloth and the sewing machine!

If talk was like wine, i bet it'd be cheap, because of how talk can be cheap sometimes. This takes alot of effort to form back something that we had. But if i were not to survive this long run with you, because all i see is an endless route, accosted and i just say to you "it's futile and you can never" i hope you'll be the one saying "you lied" and you just run. Because if you're sure that we're meant to be, be here with me, and not because you feel that we have to be.

things will never be the same again

Ok second break out now, im not going for lunch because not only have i lost my appetite, but im pretty pissed at the very moment.

*ever since that mishap that happened on sunday i already knew that things would have never been the same ever again. However i guess i have to live like that for now and probably forever. So tonight i'll kneel down beside my bed to pray and ask dear God that this won't be for long. Because i cant make up my fucking mind. And God had to make months, and my period falls this week.

FUCK.

fairy dress mother

My grandfather is drinking beer. he hardly touches beer! 0.0
-stares at him at one corner-

yes yes i'm damn sure i'm going to try FIRST to make a dress, so wish me good luck, if all goes well. Then hehehehehehehe tell me, i'll be your fairy dress mother. (: I think school is swell, i'm doing just fine, the normal me is still around in class. And everyone is finally so comfortable with everyone. No formalities needed, we've even started calling each other weird nick-names. So to my old W15D, a word of advice, be resistant to change and DON'T be a clam and shun away. Remember but you'll be with this class longer then you were with the previous sem, you'll be with them till like jan 2009. Just open up and open your mouth and talk. I know talk is easy. But literally, in this context it is. So try hard alright? Good luck (:

weird obsessions for maxis

I had my very first maxi from azhar, at bugis, hurs. I fell in love with it. I paid half and so did he. (: (thanks abang!) And from that day onwards, thus begained my obsession for long tube dresses. (I have no idea why it's still called MAXI, when i thought maxi meant short? but oh wth) So now in my closet, i have 4 long tube dresses, still counting. But i insist on penning down this, although i still have an obsession for tube dresses, i think lately the prints have been repeated and it's getting a lil draggy. And is it just me but are the prices increasing for some of them as well? like from $27 to $33 to like $37. With that, i might still have the urge i had 1 month back to have my own hand in making MY VERY OWN long tube dresses, with my choice of fabrics, design and lay out. What say you people?

because then i'll be lying

We all get our rough and toughie and eeky yuckky squishy days that we hate as a couple. But when 2 hearts beat not for themselves but for each other, we can overcome it, together. (: Stef and I almost lost our love just a few days back but curse my faint heart and restless soul that sent me crying to him again and again and falling for him all over again! We've pierced one another because our words are like swaggering daggers that flies across the room. But the course of true love never quite ran smoothly eh? Classic example of Shakespear's quotes: us.

god, i love that boy of mine. (:

yea sure, you care.

I always sing in the rain

I really do think that school is ok so far. Accept i have gone back to the routine of coming home from school and lamenting at the fact that 'i-feel-fustrated-now-and-perhaps-the-rest-of-my-years-here-to-coming-home-and-not-doing-ANYTHING' To put it simply: i come home everyday feeling fustrated that i'm not stressed. But on another note, i'm gonna grow to love the class. Although i do miss being in w15d. Nonetheless, we gotta be resistant to change.

Stef & I are going on tremendously swell. Loving each other as the day goes by like there's no tomorrow. And we have had alot of fun. Just recently i took him to fisherman's wharf to have a good catch of the halibut version of fish & chips. Go there aight people? It's just across The central at clarke quay! I also bump into Leonard's wife whose name i always can't seem to remember, and she is BIG. I don't know how many months big. But BIG. It's gonna be a boy and they're gonna name it Keean. I thought it was a cool name. Stef thinks otherwise.

Oh and i swear to God but i fell in love with the eyes of Stef when i took this picture. Who wouldn't? Those goddamn cute puppy eyes. Still i can't seem to find out what or why or how i fell for a guy like him? Maybe I was right. And so was God, that He truly must have loved me so much to have given him to me. (:

Do you hear what i hear?

I don't have to say things so obviously to make it clearly that something IS bothering me. When in an instant you would KNOW that something is bothering me via my actions, my lack of enthusiasm, my listless and restless self, whichever, i thought you knew. I really thought you knew.

How many times have i been trying to tell you things, but it's either you don't really wish to hear or you say that 'I'm listening. I'm listening.' But your mind is wondering somewhere else. Which? Do you hear me sometimes and listen to the things that i need to say? Do you hear that hidden message between the sentences exchanged? Like how last night, i was trying hard to get you to see things my way, but obviously, you can never. And everytime when i ask you for your opinion, you always seem to give me, up to you, whichever makes you happy. And yes ultimately it's UP to me in the end. But i simply want to know YOUR opinion and how you feel about it. Ultimately i'm always left hanging on the line, and sometimes, i tie a not and hang on and probably wait for help.

I'll see you tomorrow, that is if, we're even meeting. You have a good night.

Why hate?

It's gonna be friday. -dead pan cry- and then saturday. God. My week has awaited for this weekend.

P.s: Ailin Kea is in the same class as me! How could I miss that! Lollers. Cool shit. Now I have 2 friends i know in the same class. Or wait, i think i know her, her, him and him and her and him. Ahhh what the heck.

P.s.s: I want to stress this out but please leave Anon* alone. Don't attack him/her. He/she didn't offend any of you guys. It's HARMLESS to write a comment and he/she is entitled to his/her own opinon. And i'm not standing up for anyone, im not taking sides. I like to see and hear about what people has to say to, be it about me or just certain views that's all. I'm open to all! But yes, I do slang and use colloquial language sometimes, how not when we're all influenced by the west ay no? However it's a habit i can't kick because i confess, i grew up in the west too. This is just to clarify yea? So no hard feelings. Make peace people! PLEASE! For the sake of Ghandi (inside joke), MAKE LOVE and NOT war. (:

Y'all have a good day. (:

Sem's 2 class

Awkwardly. Time has been moving by very slowly this week. Very unusual indeed. Time spent at work is semi-productive, the other semi is spent on day-dreaming and anticipating for the weekend. And ok so i know my sem's 2 class now. Thankfully people i know are in the same block and some on the same level too like Li-Han, Rafika, Fiaz, Anoor, Amni. That's all i know. And oh Nisha is in the same class as me! Righteous!

And in another 15 mins it will hit midnight. Good night.

they CAN be friends

I can say only say that sometimes things get worst only so that it can only get better. (:

Glad it worked out and that at least you took a step. I know my countless nagging can fall on deaf ears, but you took it, now, the next move is yours. Good luck! (:

And here are more of the pictures with me experimenting food at little India.

and LADOOOS

Give me an indian prata making husband

I'm working and I'm working and I'm working and I'm working and I'm working. If anyone would like to brighten up my life, come DOWN to bugis junction and entertain me and i might throw in a coin or 2 at you.

But this past few days, work has brought no joy to my hum-drum life. And working at the shop IS no fun. Rather, i've been feeling....depressed?? And Stef and I can't be any better because we take it out on one another. So yea, we argue, ALOT.

But things got better, on saturday, Nisha took me out to Little India! Where i had the best best best, however, spicy! lunch. and delicious tasting sweets called Ladoos![: And although it was raining a fair tad bit, it didn't stop us from jaywalking, or as nisha calls it "doing what indians do", scurring from one cloth shop to another if they do alterations for i wanted badly to be altered because i was doing free comunity service for little india for having my tube dress sweeping the roads and i bought bangles, FINALLY. And they are the SEX aight. 24 bangles for just $4.

end of the line

Dear Saya,

In another less then 24 hours or so you'll be boarding up the plane at Changi Airport and you'll be on a long trip to the land of maple oak trees and maple syrup. But as the clock ticks it's second hand away, it ticks back when we were small kids running around in our diaper bags. The day when we first made friends. We go back to God-knows-how-long-when, and i remember every play outting I had with you. From the time you got bullied at this fun-castle that they use to have in Suntec city, to the time you came to America to visit me, to the time of Christmas, New Year's eve parties and other what not cell group parties.

But after tomorrow, it just won't be the same anymore. And i can't take it as another, i'll just see you in a few weeks time, when this time, i won't see you maybe forever. And no i don't want to accept it at all. Because no party would ever be the same without you, how we would grab food and booze and rot and talk about anything under the sun and moon. I grew up with you. I had so many memories made with you and this goes back to diaper bags to make-up, boys and the beginning of our lives. Although some people might say that there's internet and skype and yada-yada what not cook geeky ways of keeping in contact virtually. Still the absence of your presence is enough to keep me cold during the long december christmas parties. So what can i do to keep you here for another one more day? I never once had a grudge against you and we never fought too. So how can you tell me not to cry when i'll yearn for more memories to make with you? Through almost the thick and thin of the drama we both had and shared, i could still call you friend. No boy, no party, not anything could ever come between us.

And ok, i'll admit it this time round, i'll miss you. Give me a call or text before you leave ok? Don't cry at all. Because i know we'll see each other soon. (yea how soon?) I'll keep the photos i have of you and i both and i'll keep the memories safe in my box. So one day, hurry back to the place you call home.

And another thing my friend,

don't forget to remember me.

Have fun with life and always remember to smile. Take care of yourself and make new friends ya?

with love,

erika.