why should I

Why should I?

Because I care.

madly on

zomg. valentine's is over, well i had a big bouquet of roses by some person who calls himself kev. HAHA. To kev, thanks for the lovely roses. And the poems and the chocolates. Ok and oh i got into poly but into a course i deem to be pointless to me especially since i'm not interested in majoring in it at all. Bahhh,

ok anons, please number yourselves la. Yes i'm working at bugis. And reply to other anon, no, i'm not spiritually starved. I'm just figuring out why the world spins madly on.

If i'm unhappy, i'll show it still. Everything is becoming more clear and evident infront of me, i've been missing out alot. And if i want to go back, i have to jump to 1 year ago.

roses

But i should be happy, but i'm very not. So now i'm thinking if it's something i did wrong. And the funny thing is I don't really know you, but i guess you won't even know if one day,

i'll be gone.

Don't give me any roses on valentine's day. Don't give me anything.

When I wanted to break down halfway at work for thinking about what's wrong with the life i live, I got choked on with emotions and pepper powder in my nose. When was the last time I ever felt happy? Besides less then 24 hours ago, Zool had supper with me and stayed over at my place? I can be happy, I want to be happy.

delete me

pay day is coming. (:
my little toes are getting excited.

Ok and for those who want to know how much i scored for the 'OH's, i had below 20. And I'll be going poly. So don't make me repeat my answer.

A few people came by to visit me from work, one was the unexpected visit of an ex. I try hard not to recall but i wish someone can delete a momento of a past. It got me thinking till i started catching spasm in space, and a customer lightly tapped me on the shoulder asking for a particular size for a shoe.

In this case, I choose myself.

1 word. 1 mouth. 1 night. 1 mind. 1 idiot. 1 tear. 1 life. 1 wish. 1 prayer. 1 quiet death. 1 scar.

ok, i know scars will make me stronger. yea. i'm pretty numb at the moment.

Look out for the new me world. Right back at you.

fuck boys

work stinks. ):

i ate chocolate like nobody's bees wax cause i was damn jiwang!

fuck boys.

work eat sleep

Work, sleep, eat. I can't believe that's how i live my life now. Well of course, it use to be study, eat, sleep. Working is fine, really. I earn the money that i desire to get. Or at least i'll get rather. I work 6 days a week, 11-12 hours a day. Thought about changing jobs because i realise that i do kinda need my life back you know.

and i like you because
if we go away together
and i get lost
then you are the one that is yelling for me

hey where are you?

-sandol stoddard warburg

big deal

I clinched a job at Bugis, Le Pommier, at the second level, infront of the information/sistics counter! At the far end. I think working hours and days are terrible. 10am-10pm, and it's 6 times a week, i get Saturday off. Oh and it's like totally chinese speaking environment. Terrible huh? Well whatever to get what i want, i pay the price for it.

And now it hit me, i haven't got the slightest thing to wear to work.

Secret Misery

AUGH. I'm un-employed yet. So spending money almost everyday isn't doing me good. But i'll call up this 3rd agent regarding about an on the spot job. 1.5k a month? Any objections? At some place that says C-I-T-Y. That could possible be almost anywhere, since Singapore is afterall a C-I-T-Y itself. Selling ladies accesories.

Well, i came home from town, Zool sent me home via bike. I don't know why but I'm kinda sick of the fashion here. It's just TOOO common. I don't want to whine and do nothing about it. But it's kinda boring seeing everyone wearing almost the same thing. It's like how the many versions of Romeo & Juliet is being altered, they just change the era, settings, props, clothes. Still no actual twist, since both end up being dead anyway. It's getting really boring. Oh in any case, Zool and Irwan were nice enough to share my misery throughout the day.

3 minutes of happiness

New endings, old beginnings. How sweet. I hope my friends/readers, that you're all celebrating today and yesterday with happiness and not a pinch of sadness. On the stroke of 12, i didn't know if i should have cried and swallow down pride, instead, i encouraged my childhood friend, Saya to sneak out of the house. (She wanted to anyway!)

I swore, it was such an emo night, and on the start of the year. But one thing lead to another, drama always follow. By now, i learnt that if you play with fire, you can either stay to continue playing, or you use a stronger fire to create a bigger fire, or you can stand and watch. Whichever it is. I'll be happy, eventually. Even if it's for a while.

Well, have a good year ahead of you all.

where it all starts

OK. So japan trip, done. Christmas, done. Yes i'm back. Hello fellow singaporeans! (:

So i went DXO last night. What happened there remains there. What i did and whatever happened remains there. What a night full of drama. I think i wouldn't dare fix the twist anymore, it'll just show me eventually what it'll do. I have a heart that cannot be tammed, an inner voice that wants to be heard. Happiness i say, is no where in it, and it's because, happiness can sometimes last for only 3 minutes. But i'm guessing it's about time since i freed myself from life's distractions.

see you in a decade

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Hey kids i know my o's are over and i SHOULD be blogging but really sorry. I've been pretty darn busy.

anyway, i've yet to pack my bags. Flight is at 8.40.

God and i'm hell as sad as i can be. ):

BUT look more for i'll be grudgingly telling you my days here in japan.

to everybody , well i'll miss you.

spray hearts on concrete they won't die

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hey i'm getting tension headaches. How cool is that? -does V sign wearing nothing but hippy clothes-
ok my headache is not getting any better. So after taking this medicine, some long unspelt name i have never heard of, i feel like a druggie.

O's are next week. When? O's are next week. When? O's are next week. When?
O's are sometime soon.

Did i tell you my readers this signifance of the heart in today's post? -looks at previous paragraph-
ok. no.
well no my heart is not broken, and no i'm not dividing it into 3 or more parts. But my heart is tugged at matters of the affairs of the heart. No biggy. Firdaus is being a great support to me. (:
To admit, i've never felt comfortable with anyone before. -Friends stares at me with the 'you-said-this-before' look-
Well............Time is only capable of that aint it now.

My air ticket to no-where

Ok, i can't believed that i just graduated. Class of 2007. 5n2.

How can i not be happy? I am actually not gonna be in the same class with this bunch of people whom i can call friends.

Alex,
Amanda Bay,
Cassie,
Belinda,
Amaryllis,
Esvari,
Louisa,
Laveena,
Maimunah,
Nisha
FiFi,
Joyce,
Chloe,
Ji Min,
Phanida,
Amanda Lee,
Sandra,
Caryn,
Wan Ting,
Lynette,
Rachel Mak,
Becky,
Alexia,
Zara,
Michelle,
Viviyana,
Elanor,
Shalini,
Ting Fang,
Jazreel,
Rachel Yong,
Sara Koh,
Floremae.

I just can't bear to live school. I can't sum up how much i feel for each and every one of you in a sentence. But i chose out this song and from the bottom of my heart, i mean every word i say.

i really really do love you guys as friends and as sisters. we've seen each other blossom up to who we are today. And you know what? I really really do love you all, REMEMBER THAT!

so with this, please do remember one another.

from my heart,
erika.

bahh

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It's 11.23 a.m. half an hour plus to the next day.
well i've spent my life studying.
so i guess this is how the post would end too. since my life revolves around the o's.
pure simplicity huh?

oh i just thought i'd let the rest of the world know, but i'm terribly missing a group of people. I really really really really do. And i'll do whatever it takes to spend time with each and every of them after o's. That is if i ever get to.

shocking news=i'm SHIPPED off to japan after o's for some japan immersion programme, more like erika-gets-to-laugh-at-people-watching and erika-creates-havoc. At least i've planned out some ideas to get me expelled from the school.

ZUM

ZUM ZUM ZUM ZUM ZUM.
I am aproximately close to a month to o's.

anyway, i'm starting to save up my bit for my phone-bill. Yes, i finally came to my own senses that i SHOULD pay-up, though i'm already black-listed. (grumbles)

oh wells. ):

things can look bright, or dull. But i'm still smiling thanks to Mr Noah. (:

cheers my readers, i'll try to be more consistent.
Mrs Noah.

regret this

you know what my readers?

someday I am gonna regret this. Trust me because i'm starting too. I'm starting too loose the ruggedness in a few friendships, the superior does not seem to bother but the inferior is screaming out 'come back. stay. don't go'. I guess that's why we're suppose to make new friends to cover up for the old ones. But can they replace the old ones? I don't think so.
This so feels like the Laguna Beach season, and it's not even the winter holidays yet (Nov-Dec).

I did it because I care.
I care because I miss you

The great escape

Ahh september holidays. I miss wasting my life at school. Well i know i do curse and holler my swears about my days at school, but i pine to be there. That's not the only thing i miss about too. I miss alot of people like

wan (jb), firly, batam, belu, zul, and the skate gang. But mostly i miss Wan (jb). It's been 2 months since i heard from you.

Derrick and the jdi and bfc crew. Syafiq, ahzard, mizan, sham, wan, t.j aka teddy (TO ME!), shahrin.

Yanti and Nurul, dang girls its been eons.

victoria, fel tham, syid somehow pretty isn't pretty till i see more of you.

erika

charmaine

ok the list goes on and i bet you readers get the picture.

Studying till my　little brain hurts. I dont really wanna study tooo hard and too much, i've encountered too many mindblocks as a result. Sigh i live in a crazy world la.

Running away, forget yesterday, we'll make the great escape.