play with fire erika

They said that you should never ask for more than you have and you should be contented with what you have. Currently i'm living with one of the worst sin a girl could ever be in. Like i'm playing with fire. HOW WONDERFUL IS THAT?!?

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Today was sucha love. Met Wan (JB) long lost friend to surprise Wan but he wasn't at skate park. So Poor Eka & me were roaming around. Till me and Eka left, i met Ean and his crazy friends, thus i met new friends. AND I FINALLY FOUND SOMEONE I CAN HANG OUT WITH ON SATURDAYS! (: n Nurul and Yanti are such love. (:

Like met alot of unexpected people ijail, zul. Met Az as well. (: HEH.

Today was sucha great day for me. My heart goes all silly willy now. HEH i've been brought to a world, a different view of it and the people. (: Today is sucha love.

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that is why i'm playing with fire

my life this week and the future, oh whatever.

It's 8.46 and i'm in the Learning Lab in school. It's freeeeeeeeeeeeee period. Ms Iris Kee did not come to school again. So i guess i'll make a good use out of this period by updating you earthlings.

1)Mid-years are on friday, next week and next next week. I didn't study much so i can predict the grades that will be screened on my report card.
2)Momma left for Aussie yesterday.
3) My advanced flight to the U.S has been confirmed. So surprises for my hispanic, blondes and brunettes and those with korn-rag doo! CAN'T WAIT I SWEAR!
4) Momma, Daddy and Naomi will be in malaysia DURING my birthday. Church camp without me.
5) KONVICTED @ FORT CANNING PARK! BUZZ ME FOR THE LATEST BUZZ!
6) I have to pay for my phone bill, momma says i have to start getting up on my 2 feet, financially speaking. And my bill, $348.58. HEH. GO ERIKA!
7) I spoke to ______ about an upcoming_______and we're expecting the best outta the outcome. -BEAMS-

I won't spill everything. But i guess i can leave you wondering for the better or for the worst. Life can be a real bitch. But it's pretty fun once in a while. I don't need alot of things to keep me happy, and that includes people too.

What's happening?

Many apologies for deserting this blog for a few days thoughst.

Alright, i may never be in the right state of mind, or so i conclude from the many 'stuff' that i encounter. Clubbing as actually become something boring to me. Upcoming parties like the one at far east pavillion, Knovicted @ Fort Canning Park, Soft02@ M.o.S. But the MAIN reason why i always look forward to them is because clubbing is my work out. Some weird reasons why. But i know the girls and i got it all covered. (;

This certain kinda love,

This certain kinda romance,

This is how it moves in it's own mysertious ways.

tira-miss-you

This is what got everyone sizzling today for FnN practical. HEH. My dessert creation.

surprises and slapbacks.

Sarah's surprise birthday party was a blast.
(:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEARY! Hoped you were well-ed surprised enough.

If you wanna see photos. Go over to Joy's blog
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I'm greatly pressured. WELL technically, i can foresee my future this week. I WILL be pressured. My speech tomorrow, plus TEST(s) and my 'OH level practical. I have yet to finalize my dessert.

Alongside, I've got problems I'm dealing with. I thought by numbing pain, it'd help. Smoking didn't help at all. NO matter how many sticks. It didn't work. Note: If you have a problem with me and the cigarettes. Kindly go screw yourself at one corner. I'm sick of the dis encouragement.

Sigh. Ultimately i wish i didn't give my heart out. I know that eventually time will heal all wounds. But YOU were no different than how a lion would eat it's meat and hunt it's next prey when hungry. Subtle yet hurtful.

i totally lost everything dear to me without seeing.

Sigh.

HYPOCRISY

party hats and thinking hats

Livejournal and Xanga. You make me miserable.





Everyone is moving into xanga and livejournal. -shrugs- i still don't see the point of it. But i hear complaints.


So don't screw anyone else. SCREW TECHNOLOGY!





I'm still debating with my pro's and con's of attending this party on saturday. It's either them or love. I had initial thoughts of bringing him over, but would that be appropiate? Would he feel left out around them? I get along well with his side of his friends. We talk, we skate, we smoke, we do rock n roll. I don't wanna decide on this, so as a beloved request, can someone decide for me instead?

we're all blissfully aware of that humans.

Unbelievable

I woke up with a huge aching in my head. I fell asleep on the verenda at 4+ due to some drinks i had at starbucks.

Towners = funny people.
My defination of funny people HERE are the people whereby you bump into at night, you say hello, you give them a hug, you chat for a while and then you live. That's towners. But i like to see what people like to dress to. I like people dressing up in their OWN style. Not the trend dressing them up. Everyday i hope to see something fresh, something new, something that can blow my mind and my knickers. :)

I broke my record yesterday for staying at Far East for a good 5 hour odd at Gallery. HELL i was bored together with Ramlee. I pee-ed more than 3 times. I drank bubble tea. I did NOT smoke. And alot of people think i work at Gallery, though sometimes I'm NO WHERE near the counter. Maybe i'll take up the job during my free days.

Yet i was glad to have found Joy, Amanda, Delyse, Sean, Chloe and Zechary at far east. Chilled out for a while before heading down to cini to meet

Nur HidaYAT . Yes it's that Taufik-Look-Alike/Heartbreaker/Monkey/Dreamer.

The meeting was with all good intentions, though i know many of you can't wait to kill me for meeting up with that jerk, on monday.

We had drinks at starbucks. We caught up. And we're impressed at the tremendous change at both ourselves. I guess huh. We talked about the past, i made him feel guilty, i felt good about it though. I enjoyed talking. But for some weird feelings, i didn't want the night to end.

He sent me to the bus-stop, the least that i wanted out of that meeting was our deepest truths and feelings. We played for a while, we kissed and bid each other good-bye. Now we realised that we miss each other.

The sad part is i'm in in love with another, and it won't be fair to the other. The sad truth is that it's wrong for us to go on, but truth is i miss him anyway.


I Wish you didnt love me
I wish youd make this easy
It was love that caught me
Now it's fear that keeps me with you
I want to be by your side
So I can close my eyes
To the growing emptiness inside that kills me
When I'm with you
You try to break me
Try to hate me
So you can fall out of love
You want to make me believe that I'm crazy
That I'm nothing with out you

It's unbelievable but I believed you
Unforgivable but I forgave you
Insane what love can do
That keeps me coming back to you
You're irreplaceable but I'll replace you
Now I'm standing on my own
Alone.

pretty faces, dirty minds

I realised and it hit me, it's this question that has been hunting me for some weeks.

I finally see that

PEOPLE ONLY LIKE ME WHEN I'M PRETTY.

ummmm right.

I might as well abandon this blog and go fly away. Anyway, recently i did some spring cleaning in my room. Dare say i'm proud of myself.

the second shelf

the last shelf

LOL i don't think any of you want to see what's inside the closet. It's UBER MESSY.

a daughter's letter.

Momma is pissing me to my poooops. I swear i hate to be yelled at early in the morning. Because
1) I'll get grumpy in the day
2) I won't be able to think straight because i'm too absorbed in getting angry at mom.

Mom. I swear being your daughter isn't as nice as you being my mum. I hate you at times and sometimes i love you. I hate you and your friends. I can't believe that you actually trust them and not me. Me your very own flesh and blood. Me who gave you that baby joy in life. Dad's sick and tired of your temper, so am i. Naomi? Now i know where she gets that mean, hot-tempered streak of hers now. It's just so you to bring me and dad down infront of everyone. You can scream all you want at me, because it goes all out of my ears. And whatever you always say falls on deaf ears too.

Don't act all christian-y and stuff. It's revolting to the stomach.
Don't act all nice too me after you've vent your anger at me, it's an earsore.

Tell me once you're ready to act like a mother. I'll be out there in life probably teaching my kids the best and i pray they grow up never to be like you. I'll bring them up as my own pride and joy, and i'll believe them. Because i love them.

I wonder Ma, have you even ever loved us?

Your daughter,
erika.

why wait

It is a lovely saturday i know. And what am i doing at home at such an early hour? ASK MUM.
I'd be out there by now, just galavanting on the stairs and ramps and pipes of somerset. But noooooo, mum wanted me home to show face.

April 3rd love. [: can't wait.

harry's invisibility cloak

Hey readers i've got something to tell you.

Have you guys ever tried to play the part of invisible girl or boy? Even in a relationship?

Well being stubborn may lead your ass into hot soup sometimes.

I've played invisible girl for a short period, i don't wanna prolong it any further. Because the guilt i feel is over my head and under my feet. It's a shadow that's casting over me.

I should be talking to someone who'se been in my shoes. BUT it seemes like no one has been.

I wish i could disappear.

Disappearing acts

I meet the weirdest characters in my life. These weird characters make me laugh, they give me good laughs. And i mean they really know how to make me laugh. Because they bring the laughter to my life.

I also meet the characters which i DON'T KNOW where to catergorise under. They are the ones that enter my life, stay for a day or 2 or a week or so, and all of a sudden they DISAPPEAR.

There are also the characters who are uber nice to me, and they really really really care for me. But i kinda mess things up. Or i just twist and turn the story, INTENTIONALLY. Sigh.'

It seems like i'm loosing more than i gain this year, well that's how i feel. I've lost a totoal up to 10 people. THIS YEAR. Though we still do talk, we know there's this sense of human frailty we can't avoid.

I admit i don't like AWKWARDNESS, cause i don't know what to do next. That's there and then you get me right where you want me. YOU DISAPPEAR.

it's so you, to run away from your feelings and NEVER come back.

school's little things

Alright i bet you readers out there are ready to hold a gun on my head and shoot me for not doing my holy duties of updating. But complain no more, i'm HERE. (:

At the moment. it's the 22nd of March, 10:50 pm, i'm at the school library, i'm feeling normal.

My days have been pretty going on good. Not bad not good but it's good. ( like HUH?!?) Well, for once i'm back into the world of nagging, coursework, homework, textbooks, and test. The fresh smell of papers, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh GLOBAL WARMING. I hate school, casue they waste paper. I hate school cause we have the dumbest rules. I hate school cause of EERIE-tating prefects. I hate school cause M.o.E is changing their education policy. (So FINE, so be it. If death rates are increasing, we can just blame it on the education system for stressing our guts out that cause us to have intentional scuicide. SCREW Y-O-U!)

Then again, i love school cause of, duh, friends. I've got the most craziest, prettiest, loveable bunch of friends ever. (: I love school, cause i like to break the rules. HAWHAW! I love school, because of......um.........er.......i just love school for the sake of loving.

Anyway, it's funny how Singaporeans react to things and how they live their life. I plan to make a documentary on you people though. It's kinda interesting yet applaudeble too. HEH. I won't pen it down as goal, cause i can never seem to accomplish my goals. So my best goal ever, is to carry on finding a goal. (:

Hmmmmm on another hand, let's take my right hand. Scandalous behaviour has been going on. -bites tongue-i've been a very very very very very bad girl. HURHURHUR!

plant sunflowers in my head

Summer break is over. Yea.

I'll never forget the series that collate up to summer love.

I'll go plant sunflowers in my head now.

summer love. THANKS FOR THE SUMMER

Oh summer love, summer love. STAY and NEVER EVER CHANGE PLEASE.

Let me see. My body is burnt, like ONLY the body. It's like this i tell you

Just concentrate on his body. THAT'S HOW MY BODY LOOKS! ):

Skate park=love. Irritating Ramly=SMILES. Cassie,Izman,Shafiz=DOUBLE SMILE. Fried Mars Bars=Bliss. [:

instigator with a sad smile

Today marks the last day i'll ever spend with Wan. And off will his ass be at boot camp. Skate park. Far east. 7-11. I'll never forget the time spent. I cried infront of him. More like wailing. But i couldn't help. I cried even more when he left me at the subway. HOWEVER ALL THE FAGS AND FAGGOTS IN THE MRT COULDN'T BE EVEN NICE ENOUGH TO EVEN GIVE ME A TISSUE. And to say that Singaporeans have a big heart, YEA RIGHT. BULLSHIT!

Sigh. I know i have tons and hoards of friends to surround me with. But out of that many of them, how many of them can i really call them 'FRIEND'? Maybe 10, maybe less. Skate park won't ever be the same with my boy around anymore. Sure i get to see Batam and gang and the rest, but it just won't evern be the same.

Wan,

I don't wanna close my eyes

I don't wanna fall asleep

'Cause I'd miss you, babe

And I don't wanna miss a thing

'Cause even when I dream of you

The sweetest dream will never do

I'd still miss you, babe

And I don't wanna miss a thing..

Aku cinta pada mu. (:

ohhh and i got my second navel piercing.

but the instigator game is still on!!!!!!!!!!

Skateboarding is not a crime.

VANS SKATE JAM! was the real highlight of my month, and maybe my year. Gawd how i gave up so many things just to be there but it was worth my time. Caught up with people i haven't met for months and some even years.

That joy that i felt yesterday, was too exhilarating to described. I met the pros from indonesia and thailand. The atmosphere was just great, despite it was hot. Still goood. I just don't know how to comprehend it all in sentence or a paragraph but you must be there to see and to feel. TO be part of the dream that we skaters dream of. And now for the first time in a longest time, i want to go back to skate-boarding again. SIGH. It's heaven.

























there are days where i'll end up like this dude though. HEH



















but some day, i can't wait to feel the thrill and the chill in the air.


























hung out with nick and his people. Fo real. I think i'm finally coming back to the world where i belong. I'm finally meeting the people whom i called on friends. The people who picked me up when i fall of the board.
I can't wait for all the surprises.


Ahhhh during service, something happend. Actually after service. Joy and Van knows. Whatever it is, they know i rock, i know i do too. HEH.

i'll carry you when your arthiritis is bad

My voice is very very very very very sexy. and sexy and S-E-X-Y! It's the S-E-X man! LOL

Right. Well march holidays are on the roll, and i'm not the least excited. I hate N.S for stealing friends/brothers/boyfriends away. And i wish they could stop changing all the sickening rules.

Life has been well life. Friendshp goes up right left and center. Parents go north south east west. Situations go here and there and everywhere.

NOTHING INTERESTING!

and i'll miss you.