Computer down, Prelims bitch, eyebags drooping, yet to pay phone bills are hate.

Ok i was reading some a friends blog and was just admiring her top when it DAWNED upon me this question, 'When was the lat time did i spent my money on something?'. I've wasted money on top up cards weekly, yes $18 cannot last me for that long, so I guess that explains why my phone bill cost a 1/3 of some working people's salary.

So erika note a rain check.
-get 2 more white sphagetti (Naomi USED one of yours)
-get yourself a new set of heels and pumps. (for some reason, the leather came off, God knows how it did)
-get yourself a new set of wardrobe. (You're running out of things to wear, honestly)

So i guess i'll head to town before going to Jap class to do some shopping and do some bargain hunting, (shhhhh don't ask me for the places that gives THE BEST clothes at ultra lord good prices). And i'm in the midst of my prelims, mind you.

Out of this population I wonder how many humans in Singapore, or even in the world actually read my blog. Well I’ve long gone abandon my blog for another latter, but since all you cyber geeks just want to know if I’m alive, I’ll be nice and tell you all how I’ve been doing. (:

School has been a major WHOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. I can’t spill all the details out on blog as it has been classified as confidential. But my toast is so burnt. I’m in the midst of my papers, and as many of you know it, well I think I just have to thank the Lord for a million of trees has been bull-dozed over. Question papers are left blank other than the question numbers, name, class, address and date. And the miserable steps I take to finish off each question, sometimes I just catch spasm.

On another good note, well, I’m just a little out of single and full of love. (:

There are 400 billion people on this planet and all you need is 1 person to love.

Daddy walks in and hands me a letter. I ripped it open and guess what i found,

TOTAL AMOUNT DUE (SGD): $ 985. 69.

I couldn't concentrate on studying. So i slumped on my desk and started trying again to find a way to pay off that ridiculous price. I could use half of my pocket money to pay at least small bit of it. But i can never reach that price. I mean i'm still a STUDENT for crying out loud. I'm NOT getting paid to study am i?!?

I'm utterly pissed off. I WANT someone to make me happy. I don't care! ):<

stupid promises

I swear on my chocolates, but this is the ever first time i spent a saturday, AT HOME. I'm always out on saturday. But because of stupid silly arguments, ahhh, you get the idea. You love 'em or hate 'em. Which is which, I have no idea. They think I'm blissfully unaware that the majors are upcoming, they think i'm an idiot.

You know it did hit me hard that the O's were coming sometime just a few days back. (To admit this.) Many of you my friends from the N's to the O's, know that we technically did drown ourselves last year, but when the drive of doing another International Recognised exam, that feeling is lost. I did find some feeble excuse to delay studying. But maybe we can't find the drive or the determination to do anything. We might lack most things a successful person should have. THe constant want to do better, the motivation, the inexpendable power and energy of an energizer bunny. It's just ABSENT in life.
But we'll find it.
Nothing is impossible I say.

( I think I should run for mayor, that is if there is such thing in this country,I'd rock the world!:) )

On another note, I thought playing this game was initially over, but i was so very wrong, I'm at it again. And I'm tackling the big boys now. What a weird and strange and beauitful life i lead.

i'm bouncing off the walls again

Man i'm not patriotic, it's national day, so what?

i'm so bouncing off the walls again, and i'm acting like a fool again.

this love that i'll create will have no boundaries.

fifi and me.

ok due to the privacy of the affairs of my heart, i've given my friend a name that you will not find. However you know the sex, if you don't. You're not even human.

me: HEY you! i just came by, was thinking about you and just wanted to know how you were doing?
fifi: Just a little tired. Just had rehearsal, tomorrow got show. Now at vivo, having lunch, how bout you?
me: i'm doing just fine. really swell. how's everyone?
fifi: same old. Nothing change. How's school and all?
me: it can be a whore, especially since prelims are around the corner. heyyyy, i miss you a tad bit.
fifi: miss you abit too.(:
me: we should meet up more often now.
fifi: maybe we should but no promises k?
me: i'm not surprised. hey i was just wondering but do you still have the picture we took on our first date still?
fifi: yarp
me: awwww ok.

what are the signs that you are sending me again?

For Hadi.

Hey small boy,

it's over and done with. So you should be happy now just like how I am happy with my life. I don't have to be nice all the time, reason being this is the REAL world we live in. Plus, take it as a way of preparing you as well. I may not be the best person in the whole world, but that doesn't mean I'm the least either. You were a wonderful guy to me, my sister and well to my life. I enjoyed our conversations, our dates, our text-messages, our bus journey's down to your training grounds, everything. I honestly did. But I'm sorry to say that we can no longer call ourselves what we could anymore. Don't prod on. MOVE ON.

I'll never forget you my friend. I won't. I'll be a busy person for the next few months. So you'll see and hear from me like once in a while.

I might hate you now, but that doesn't mean it'll be forever. So go get the girl you've been waiting on for, and this time round, DON'T tell me. Save it for our future meet ups that we'll have. It's not that I'm not interested, bu just save the best for last. So will i, when i meet that guy that i'll fall for, i'll tell you when we meet up. We'll laugh ourselves silly, about this when we look back. Trust me. Been there. Done that.

Well, till then.

All the love,
erika. XO.

hero/heroine

Boy: Would you stil love me in the morning?

Girl: Forever and ever babe.

i'm sorry that i refuse to see pass through everything.

i'm sorry to know that you were just a friend.

:'(

inevitable decay of that fair weathered love

i still remember when we hung out together, we enjoyed playful verbal banter, we were tender. But those gushing sentiments that we spoke off to each other, did we regret?
The seasons pass so fast, the blooms faded, and natyre took its course of inevitable decay, and without argument or discussion, we started to neglect each other. Somehow we got back to where we were, where we stare at each other from the other room.

But i ask myself now: Was there ever a true great love? Anyone who became the object of my obsession and not simply my affections? I don't think so. In part, this was my fault. Maybe it was my nature, i suppose. I could not let myself become that great mindful.

But isn't that what love is-losing your mind?

You don't care what people will think. You don't see your beloved's faults, the slight stinginess, the bit of carelesness, the occasional streak of meaness. You don't mind that he is beneath you socially, educationally,financially and morally. Ok i think that's the worst- deficient morals.

reaching out for you

Good Golly God.





how come i feel miserable? And that i actually feel good being miserable. How weird isit and why is it coming from you boy?





Can i say that i like you? or would you run away?

i feel so blind, but i'm desperately reaching out for you still.

my paper heart will rip

It's good to be in love, it really does suit you. I'm happy you're in love.

Kids. I would like to say hello. I've done a very very very bad thing over the past few months, and i caused people to get hurt. WELL that's only one person though, but still, that was no excuse for me to go around hurting people. But I was honest, and i told him the truth. And now i'm very very very sorry. But that pain will sink in, maybe he can bury it and never let it grow. But if he waters it with his thoughts, i'm afraid it will grow and sprout into a weed.

Well on my way back home from city hall, i thought about a situation that i'm currently in. What if i said that nothing was ever real, and that i was just out there to test myself? I think i would have come back a soldier with a white flag. To come to think of it, what if i choose the other latter? I'd have left the fray for the latter. But on the contrary, think of it this way, doesn't everybody deserve to be happy? Well, i guess it's uncertain for sure, but would any of you of my dear friends and readers kill me if i say i'd like to jump in and find out what i might never know?

just go ahead.

KILL ME. :]

oh heart, what should we ever do with you?

ZOMG.

school is giving me eyeeeeeebags.

will we be ready?

life can be a real whore.

um acs barker carnival was kinda a letdown. But company was all good. Outing with new found friend, Reza was pretty wild and hilarious. Waiting for Syamil was like waiting for Hadi to come down from Tampines to Town. Oh wells, i can't wait to see his ass getting screwed real bad. Twice. (:Revenge is yet bitter sweet. Big time argument happend at home, momma and poppa are both another bitch.
__________________________________________________________________
To: My love

I have got to say this. I don't know if we weren't ready for anything. However we both jumped at the chance to it and grab it. But now I have doubts. Were we ever ready? I ask some good confidents whom I know have my interest at heart, they told me, that I maybe right. We were all to fast? Or was i just too desperate to be happy? Love can be an obsession to many. For me it's essential, but not an obsession. But I need you to be on the same pace, wavelength, side, wind, ramp with me. Cause the way I see it, we're both at different ramps. I don't even know if i'll ever get to reach you.

from,
your love, erika.

something ailing

Cafeteria's food has gone from bad to well even more bad. So maybe we did take for granted about the food that we had with the old stall vendors. But ahhhh i can't take this new cafeteria anymore! ):

i couldn't help but cry myself silly over yesterdays quarrels with Wan and Nazri. However when i opened up, let's call him hip hopper, 'hip hopper's' friendster profile page, i got led to his myspace instead. I got a lil jealous and that i realise i got hurt a lil bit. And then i cried again over the silliest things. I hate this feeling. It gets me chewing off my mind. My heavy heart can break into a million pieces, but maybe it may be better that way. Love can be shared.

But again, please forgive my poor ailing heart.

m-a-l-a-y-s-i-a

i'm soooo glad to be back. Well since i just came back from malaysia, i thought about sharing with you the many things that i feel i should raise. (wow, so unlike me)

Would you ever look in the eye of a malay person and feel the same thing? With all the racial and religious conflict going on, i don't have the answers to the questions. But all i can say is, i go mad whenever i think about it.

I enjoy and i always look forward to going to malaysia, (nisha, fariza, laveena and mai maybe you guys know the reason why (;) but other than that, i just do enjoy it.

So i was at seremban, k.l and genting.

1 word: AWSOMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

Seremban was for that family church camp: Saw the new sl'o'ts in town.

K.L: Shopppppping. Bought this reallllllllly adorable top.

Genting: Theme park, and lovely eyecandies.

J.B: Shopping.

alright, i gotta go hunt down syamil. damn that bastard

good people do homework

It's 11.13

im at the Allson Hotel at Seremban, well the bar longue. They're playing Pink's stupid girl.

To all who wished me a happy birthday, thanks! (: I'm surprised. Like the people i least expect to text me, actually did anyway.

Well since i'm bunking in with my childhood friend, Saya. We had a good a few hours chat. And she gave me the greatest gift that anyone could have given, HITTING THE SENSE I NEED. Exactly what i need. You know, i think i am sure of the decisions that im about to make, or so that's what i think.

I think it's time to come clean with many people. Hello I'm erika, i just turned 17 and im very unfaithful.

go be a good girl/boy and figured out that math for your homework.

when someone says 'I will be around'

My time is running out,
I'm far from where i want to be,
I'm hanging around the lost and found,
I need someone to lean on.

Where is everybody? Why isn't anyone around when you need them? ):

i'm on a high, on a high.

right on this is one of my favourite music from CALI. Home town of 3-4 years of my life spent. home sweet Cali. (:

Well, but i'm on a high too anyway. Days when you think back of time spent, i Laugh, i Smile, i Cry. I guess that's what makes life a joy. Too bad i know of a lot, who don't have that time. Treating life like a rat race. JEEEEBUS! Don't take life too seriously, it plays you around like a lil merry go round too you know, making you spin in all directions and letting you fly off to unknown places with the strangest characters.

oh wells, enjoy life my human friends. (:

You should've said no

Good God. This will be all over and done with for once and for all.

It's strange to think the songs we used to sing

The smiles, the flowers, everything: is gone

Yesterday I found out about you

Even now just looking at you: feels wrong

You say that you'd take it all back, given one chance

It was a moment of weakness and you said yes...

Actually you should've said no, you should've gone home

You should've thought twice before you let it all go

You should've know that word, bout what you did with her would get back to me...

And I should've been there, in the back of your mind

I shouldn't be asking myself why

You shouldn't be begging for forgiveness at my feet...

You should've said no, baby and you might still have me.

huntress

Thank you Derrick aka tech 1 and friends of his for doing a splendid job in cheering me up.
Jason, you rocked the stage. (: The Jerk, siaaa la, you'll always be my teddy bear.






The huntress didn't get her game. Because the game backed out on the fight. So S-A-D. And the game has a D-I-C-K, shame shame shame shame on you.