your cheap trick

I want you to want me.
I need you to need me.
I'd love you to love me.
I'm beggin' you to beg me

I swear, I'll forever hold every memory.

what i wouldn't give

I don't exactly know what to say or to do now. You always single-hand me out and say that "....of all the people I should understand..." yea i thought so too, but it looks like I guessed wrong and you put the heavy weight expectation all on me. We can never agree on the same thing. You are too defensive for my nature. You don't realize sometimes the stuff you say or do can hurt someonelse. You always insist you're right and you can never take criticism.

I didn't think and I am sure that I don't really expect much from you at all. I do tell you stuff, but it's only because I care and I do want the best for and out of you. And so now I tell you this, out of all the people I know, I thought YOU would understand and you would care. But I'm proven wrong this time round, that there may be other people out there who do care about me more than you do.

"You see sculptors and painters said that to paint a head, you have to give up the whole figure. To paint a leaf, you'd probably have to sacrifice the landscape. Likewise I, it did seem that I limit myself out alot of things but after a while I realize that if i had a quater of a something, I'd slowly have a better chance of holding on to a cerain feeling of the universe rather than the sky. But with you, I didn't choose a head or a leaf, I chose you and to hold on to that feeling, I sacrificed the world." -From Unknown.

The list keeps growing every week, doesn't it? From 7 to 24 to 30 to 36 to a 45. Yes, 45, and it's the 45 things that I hate so much about you. You make me cry, you make me sick in the stomach and worst of all sometimes you actually hurt me.

Because it dawned upon me that same day when I tip-toed and smack you a kiss on your cheek that you could finally be my saving grace for my future life's mistakes. However, halfway down the course, I could only realize that it took me countless stepts stupidity that you are clearly the best thing for me. You are that sort of person you see, who can make me list down the 25 things I hate most about you, but the last reason falls back for the rest of the 24,

"25th reason: I hate how you can still make me love you and you can still love me back in return"

Throughout this 1 year and 10 months, I can only come to one sole conclusion, which I'm sure I have said this to you before, that God loves us, and me so much that He gave you to me. (:

Blessed CNY to one and all! (:

may angels lead you in

It's just only yesterday when you wrote on my FB wall "Would you date Erika Shimada if she was single" And you strongly put "No". It's only about last week or so you yelled out "Japanese" and gave me that cheeky smile of yours. I barely knew you for a year and having a someone not that close to you but you talk to them and tease you, it's like something from my memory just got removed and it just feels...

I just want to say that you've been a swell classmate, and a wonderful friend to those who knew you and kept you closely in their hearts. But now that you're somewhere else, I hope you don't forget to remember us and remember me. (: This post is specially dedicated for you Valerie. (The girl on the left hand side of the photo)

Population size of 127,076,183 vs 1 girl.

I made a vow to you like silly love-sick idiots to love you and to be true to you, yet I find myself breaking that promise to you and what hurts is to know that it makes you cry and that it hurts you. But with every mistake I make, you can never find ways to let me go. & that is why I decided that I should stick by you, stick by that someone who has stood by me even when I was in the wrong. Someone who stood by me when everything was at its worst doubts. And most definitely someone who stood by me and loved me in every way.

10 million fireflies cannot be compared to the color of your eyes

I want one of this cool looking gadgets in my room. (:

Blackberry BOO!

I remember I made up some analogy that

"It's not you chooses the machine, it's the machine that chooses you"

Soo Deepak Chopra. But whatever. I think technology is just not for everyone, especially for idiots like me who makes up such analogies. You see, I had my BB bold since the beginning of April, 2009, and I have gone back and forth to the network provider carping about the phone, and the replies are always the same. "The software is the issue." which is a line I have heard over and again and hence, I hold on to my 5th BB bold in less then 1 year! That bad I tell you. That bad.

So anyway, Daddy just celebrated his birthday last week and Aunt Pauline made the most darling cake everrrr! If there can be a shoe porn and bag porn in my collection of thoughts, I can defitnetly squeeze in dessert porn! Here's dad's birthday cake for you.

I think I'll be removing the tagboard and I'll just let anyone leave a comment at every post. Hassle-free!

So what? I'm still a student.

I don't believe in keeping or making new year's resolutions because sometime halfway through the year, people will tend to forget them. They put it all down on this paper, and then on their fridge, or diary, or wall or mirror. But I guess better advances, computer now. Then it'll start to grow crisps and tears on the edges of this paper, then later, people will throw it away or, easy said, forgotten. So that's why I don't answer people when they ask me what is my new year's resolution. And that's why I take great interest in humans and how we all think and react to everything. So interesting.

Well, glad for those who feel happy that 2010 is already here. But I've been of to a quizzical start. The hour hand that stroke 12 on 31st Dec, I didn't felt any sort of 2010 breeze on my skin. Nope. No magical spray dust. No magical airy feeling. I simply felt nothing. Because what I could only think of was "Oh God, I'm turning 20 this year. & Oh god, I'm actually going to be a 3rd year sophmore student." I don't think, I KNOW that there will be changes this year. But this changes that I'm talking about, are going to alter the course in life. My life, rather. I'll keep my airy optimisitc and soon to be realistic head afloat. I'm scared, I really am. It's this year that is what keeps me in dismay and also what I fear most. But hey, I'm scared most of the times, even when everyone else thinks I'm always the brave one.

OH WELLS. I'll give an apprehensive cheer for this year. Whee.

One fav. author

so shout out whatever you wanted to say

Why do we SHOUT when we are ANGRY?

One day, a professor asked his students ‘Why do we SHOUT instead of speak when we are ANGRY?’
All the students thought for a while. One answered ‘Because we lost our cool. That’s why we SHOUT.’
Asked the professor again, ‘But the person is just right next to you, why can’t we talk softly but have to SHOUT?’
Everyone gave their opinions but none was accepted by the professor.

Lastly explained by the professor ‘When we are ANGRY, our hearts drift apart. To mask the DISTANCE we felt, we instinctively SHOUT instead of speak so the other party can hear us.’
‘But as we SHOUT, we get ANGRIER. And we felt we drift apart further. So we SHOUT even louder…’
‘It is the opposite when we are in love. Not only we do not shout, we whisper into each other ears. Why?’
‘This is because our hearts are very close, almost never apart. As our love deepens, we reach a state of communication where there is no need for words.’
‘We understand each other well enough just by exchanging look,’ concluded the professor.
Therefore, when we are arguing, DO NOT speak words that will make our hearts drift apart. WAIT a few days. When you feel your hearts are no longer far apart, pick up the conversation and continue from there.


YES THIS!

This is fun guys! (: I just started my album entitled "The world. The people. & my life through polaroid lens"

Christmas IS for EVERYONE

Merry Christmas to all earthlings (:

I've had a swell Christmas and it's been one of the best ones yet. I don't know why but how could it be that every Christmas, I can only wake up to find myself that I've always been terribly blessed with everything and everyone I have in my life. How terrible aren't I? So anyway, I hope everyone got what they wanted for their Christmas this year and I hope you guys had a blessed one as well. (:

Glad you love the Ipodtouch love. I HEART mine indeed. (:

I WANT TO WATCH THIS! )':

My very own inner self's thought

because I'll be

So just hurry the clock and push to December 31st,11.59 pm please!

Things inside my head

Murni told me a statement almost the same as this today. It didn't strike me dead hard, till afterawhile, the pins and needles of that awkward feeling I hate to feel. The feeling of disappointment+frustration+yucky feelings that is equivalent on getting your period. I didn't had to read it at all actually, she was right but the feeling that poked me and left my skin feeling a deep brush of the cold rainy weather. And then my head continued to ached again, and then later my heart, than my stomache, than my heart.FUCK.

Dark blue dark blue have you ever been alone in a crowded room?

The moon started shining on the sky at about 8pm last night. Then only at about 1.30 am it shone brighter than before with a halo resting on its body. As I lay on my bed enjoying the delightful view, it's then I saw your face on the moon. Because I remembered 2 occasions on a night like this.

1, the bad one when we had a big argument
2, the good one when we sat across the stars and wanted nothing more than that moment to never end.

-E

love don't come easy

Ans: The reason why love has it's downs as
well as the ups.

"love don't come easy.It's a game of give
and
take"

-The Supremes (You can't hurry love)

i will crush you

Someone was telling me this while i was half-listening to our conversation, and I remembered nodding my head furiously like a bobble-head. We were in the rain trying to make sense out of life and the people who treat our hearts like an entrance/exit shopping mall. Then I realized, there were 2 confused and shagged people walking under the rain.
I'm angry that not only did i let people hurt me this way, but I'm angry because I'm getting fustrated at letting people do this to me.

i cannot fanthom

and she said "Shhhh don't tell anyone"