checking through a landslide

Today, my student told me that the only problem he had with English essays was putting his entire thoughts onto paper and structuring them despite having all the good points jotted down. Likewise with my blog posts sometimes, I have innumerable things I want to say, but penning them down here would be perplexed as well. The irony how humans can be that we can structure good essays but find the impossible with our emotions and feelings.

I was at Starbucks, people-watching, shoe-gazing and thinking, especially thinking. Thinking the entire day about the next month and a half, in a matter of weeks I will turn 21, and that's when life as we know it, would change forever. But in a month and a half, I would also be some 3800 miles, 6000km away from home and I had to think about the people whom I cherish with all my heart. One particular person that was undoubtedly repeatedly coming forth, was my boyfriend. The one who I love so dearly and the one I can share almost anything with.

I could never stop thinking about him and how both our lives would change forever. The thought of leaving him behind tears me apart and I know I would not be able to stop the tears that would fall down. So I allowed my thought process to run and just wonder.

If I have all the faith in the world to push me through whatever, I'm sure that love would do the same, good or bad. Even if disappointment would slap me in my face or my partner's, I know myself and eventually I will get back up. I remember this phrase that

"You're not gonna promise to each other that you will disappoint one another because at some point you will. What is important is you don't go away, you don't escape, you don't leave one another just because you were disappointed. That's the meaning of fidelity"

Track backing on my blog posts that I wrote for my boyfriend, I'm reminded of how hopeful I am and how much I would do to get this through. If anything were to ever happen, it will still be ok and no matter what, everything will be ok. I know for sure that I'm thankful for everyday the day we got together and that my heart beats for no one else but him ever since.

I'm beginning to think if there's a direction I'm going at with my post but whatever it is I love my boyfriend whole damn heartedly, and i swear no rich guys no goodlooking guys no kind guys no smart guys can ever match up to the wonderful guy he is to me. He is undoubtedly, with much consideration and no frivolous talk, the love of my life. I please that he holds onto this, that comewhat may, I’m his little hope, his little comfort and his little strength.

Till I post something again.