Do you hear what i hear?

I don't have to say things so obviously to make it clearly that something IS bothering me. When in an instant you would KNOW that something is bothering me via my actions, my lack of enthusiasm, my listless and restless self, whichever, i thought you knew. I really thought you knew.

How many times have i been trying to tell you things, but it's either you don't really wish to hear or you say that 'I'm listening. I'm listening.' But your mind is wondering somewhere else. Which? Do you hear me sometimes and listen to the things that i need to say? Do you hear that hidden message between the sentences exchanged? Like how last night, i was trying hard to get you to see things my way, but obviously, you can never. And everytime when i ask you for your opinion, you always seem to give me, up to you, whichever makes you happy. And yes ultimately it's UP to me in the end. But i simply want to know YOUR opinion and how you feel about it. Ultimately i'm always left hanging on the line, and sometimes, i tie a not and hang on and probably wait for help.

I'll see you tomorrow, that is if, we're even meeting. You have a good night.

Why hate?

It's gonna be friday. -dead pan cry- and then saturday. God. My week has awaited for this weekend.

P.s: Ailin Kea is in the same class as me! How could I miss that! Lollers. Cool shit. Now I have 2 friends i know in the same class. Or wait, i think i know her, her, him and him and her and him. Ahhh what the heck.

P.s.s: I want to stress this out but please leave Anon* alone. Don't attack him/her. He/she didn't offend any of you guys. It's HARMLESS to write a comment and he/she is entitled to his/her own opinon. And i'm not standing up for anyone, im not taking sides. I like to see and hear about what people has to say to, be it about me or just certain views that's all. I'm open to all! But yes, I do slang and use colloquial language sometimes, how not when we're all influenced by the west ay no? However it's a habit i can't kick because i confess, i grew up in the west too. This is just to clarify yea? So no hard feelings. Make peace people! PLEASE! For the sake of Ghandi (inside joke), MAKE LOVE and NOT war. (:

Y'all have a good day. (:

Sem's 2 class

Awkwardly. Time has been moving by very slowly this week. Very unusual indeed. Time spent at work is semi-productive, the other semi is spent on day-dreaming and anticipating for the weekend. And ok so i know my sem's 2 class now. Thankfully people i know are in the same block and some on the same level too like Li-Han, Rafika, Fiaz, Anoor, Amni. That's all i know. And oh Nisha is in the same class as me! Righteous!

And in another 15 mins it will hit midnight. Good night.

they CAN be friends

I can say only say that sometimes things get worst only so that it can only get better. (:

Glad it worked out and that at least you took a step. I know my countless nagging can fall on deaf ears, but you took it, now, the next move is yours. Good luck! (:

And here are more of the pictures with me experimenting food at little India.

and LADOOOS

Give me an indian prata making husband

I'm working and I'm working and I'm working and I'm working and I'm working. If anyone would like to brighten up my life, come DOWN to bugis junction and entertain me and i might throw in a coin or 2 at you.

But this past few days, work has brought no joy to my hum-drum life. And working at the shop IS no fun. Rather, i've been feeling....depressed?? And Stef and I can't be any better because we take it out on one another. So yea, we argue, ALOT.

But things got better, on saturday, Nisha took me out to Little India! Where i had the best best best, however, spicy! lunch. and delicious tasting sweets called Ladoos![: And although it was raining a fair tad bit, it didn't stop us from jaywalking, or as nisha calls it "doing what indians do", scurring from one cloth shop to another if they do alterations for i wanted badly to be altered because i was doing free comunity service for little india for having my tube dress sweeping the roads and i bought bangles, FINALLY. And they are the SEX aight. 24 bangles for just $4.

end of the line

Dear Saya,

In another less then 24 hours or so you'll be boarding up the plane at Changi Airport and you'll be on a long trip to the land of maple oak trees and maple syrup. But as the clock ticks it's second hand away, it ticks back when we were small kids running around in our diaper bags. The day when we first made friends. We go back to God-knows-how-long-when, and i remember every play outting I had with you. From the time you got bullied at this fun-castle that they use to have in Suntec city, to the time you came to America to visit me, to the time of Christmas, New Year's eve parties and other what not cell group parties.

But after tomorrow, it just won't be the same anymore. And i can't take it as another, i'll just see you in a few weeks time, when this time, i won't see you maybe forever. And no i don't want to accept it at all. Because no party would ever be the same without you, how we would grab food and booze and rot and talk about anything under the sun and moon. I grew up with you. I had so many memories made with you and this goes back to diaper bags to make-up, boys and the beginning of our lives. Although some people might say that there's internet and skype and yada-yada what not cook geeky ways of keeping in contact virtually. Still the absence of your presence is enough to keep me cold during the long december christmas parties. So what can i do to keep you here for another one more day? I never once had a grudge against you and we never fought too. So how can you tell me not to cry when i'll yearn for more memories to make with you? Through almost the thick and thin of the drama we both had and shared, i could still call you friend. No boy, no party, not anything could ever come between us.

And ok, i'll admit it this time round, i'll miss you. Give me a call or text before you leave ok? Don't cry at all. Because i know we'll see each other soon. (yea how soon?) I'll keep the photos i have of you and i both and i'll keep the memories safe in my box. So one day, hurry back to the place you call home.

And another thing my friend,

don't forget to remember me.

Have fun with life and always remember to smile. Take care of yourself and make new friends ya?

with love,

erika.

last night out

I'd hate to put the captions but i know the picture says it all. For Saya's last night out in singapore. Everything was worth it. It's all too priceless for me. More pictures i have but I'm afraid that if i add up the whole story, it'll loose some sort of touch to it. So this pictures i chose are some goode highlights.

drink like a fish yaww

So this past few days i've been spending time with Saya before she leaves for Canada forever. And what have i been doing with her? Drinking like a fish. Seriously. But I never got drunk. Although Stef said i did today, at around 4.30+ because he said i was speaking gibberish. So Wednesday was lunch at coffee club with herself and stef, then Lavanya came along, and then we took neos and had drinks at the balcony. Bought a pair of shoes and dress.

Then on thursday, i promised Saya i'd go clubbing with her. So there i met her 2 friends, Alexa & Ava, they live at Sentosa Cove. How fucking cool is that! Was at M.o.S, socialise with Alexa's friends whom were strangely all British. But I had fun with those bitches! Derrick aka Tech 1 was there! Mizan, Teddy, Wan and errr people whose name i forgot. Drank like no tomorrow....Whooot. Had a good lady's night with them. And Stef was a sweet tart, in the whee hours of the morning at 4 am, he picked me up. -beams-

leaving and never coming back again

Everyone is leaving. Why can't we all just stay, stay and play on this island and pretend nothing bad would ever happend?

No amount of whisky, no amount of crying, no amount of coffee, no amount of alcohol could cure up this sad heart.

Screw goodbyes, this is just our hellos

Because of how the smiles on our faces are priceless,
the pictures says it all. I need not blog about my day.

p.s=W15D look out for your hotmail or your student mail. I'll be sending you my personal messages each! (:

with love,

erika

if something is amiss; you gotta find it

Sem 1 is going to be over in 24 hours time.
I've got a round about of 21 days of holiday before I enter into semester 2. I work 11 days this holiday, 21-11=10 days of free time. Leaving the beginning and the end of the of the holidays to be free with. I've got 22 things that NEEDS to be done before sem 2 starts. It just hit me that I might not even have time. Good Golly. /: I kinda dread looking at my planner now because it gives me a rush, and no it's not that hot sensation of hot love, but rather the rush of my neurones speeding around my nervous systems.

I had this conversation with my mother over dinner and I was hinting to her that both she and my father has yet to give me a birthday present.
Me: You guys still haven't given me anything for this year's birthday present.
Mom: I can give it to you end of this year.
Me: That's what you did last year, I didn't get anything in the end!
Mom: That course we paid and that trip to Japan!
Me: THAT was a present? That was SHIPPING Naomi & I for summer school!
Mom: Ok ok ok, what do you want then?
Me: -stares at both my parents- then again, i don't know WHAT I want, i've got everything I could ever asked for.
Mom: See. We give you everything,
Me: Why did i ever bother sometimes..

So why isit that i'm missing something? It's a feeling i'm missing. I just know it.

happy olympics day

I missed cognitive.
I flew out of the bus, thanks to some crazy & heartless TIBS bus-driver.
My right leg is now swollen and sprained.
I walk like Frodo the Hobbit from LOTR. (Lord Of The Ring)
I helped Stef set up his wardrobe from Ikea!
I miss my class. sigh.

er one word: random
but
Happy OLYMPICS day!

Thank you for loving me

My fellow human beings, you know the funny thing about love is? Or aka thhe whole principle of attraction. I can go on and on and maybe discuss the role of pheromones, dopamine and biological instincts, but none of this can come close to explaining the way i feel for one boy, Stefanus Tan. And all i know i feel is that we fit somehow, and it feels like i'd spent most of my life traveling a path that lead inexorably to him.

Well, to sum it all up, it's because i have never quite met another human who could be the exact opposite of me, in terms of almost ,well, everything. Yet ironically i can dare to say i love him. And although we've thrown words at each other like flying daggers, I can dare to say that he's been the damn most best-est thing that can happen to me, like some beautiful disaster that occured. It's like you know you don't deserve this kinda love, but this person chooses to love you and only you! And because of that very unbelievable fact, you sometimes choose to be a skeptic and not to believe it or just take it as hard to believe it. And so you do all sorts of weird things, you become all so self-centered and ignorant. And that's how i feel with Stef. (:

P.s: Don't ever, not even for a second, think that you're not good enough, believe me when i say, you're the best thing that's ever happend to me.

The Wisdom Guru

Time: 10.41 am
Location: The Coffee Bean, J8
Weather: Bright and sunny side up just like my eggs
Mood: Content and think-y.

So it's obvious that i skipped school if any of you noticed the bit on location. Dressed in my levi's, mng tank, shawl and flip flops, i've decided to blog about the many things that will come to my mind. And i'll try to make it as interesting and readable.

So good morning world, i swear i'm feeling so many things, mostly it's nothing to do with my emotions but rather my cognitive point of view. You see on the way here to the Bean, i was thinking of how much japanese-y i am. If many of you aren't too sure of my blood, well I'm actually HALF-chinese & HALF-japanese. So no wonder my last name, Erika Shimada. Well back to my point, you see, I've been staying in Singapore for what it may seem like forever, and there were many points that I hope that I won't loose contact of the Japanese side of me, so whoopee for the gains that I now, on my 18th year, I have switched to a Singapore Citizenship which means i'm no longer holding a Japanese passport, i felt sad. I did. But don't get gme wrong, please gooodness me don't, I'm proud to be half blooded each, but i did felt like i was letting go of something which is part of me after so long. But then again, hit me on the head with a brick, it's just a passport, no biggy. On another whole, as long as my character will invariently speak for itself, i'll still be the japanese inside of me.

With that, i'd jump on education prosepectus. I'm not too sure how many of you out there are happy at where you're at now, as for me, in Rp doing a diploma in arts management eeps me all smiles. And i just pray to God that i'll get into the University of New York. or if not, studying uni here locally is all fine by me. But other than that, I hope you're at where you at because you want to be and not letting the grades affect you that much in anyway, if you're happy studying overseas because you know you can't make it here, well, i hope you're happy ayy? and if you're doing a private degree/diploma, i still hope you're happy, And if you're at jc, well then again, i hope it's what you wanted to do and hope you're still happy. Because how you want to move and how fast is all up to you and it's up to your own capacity too. And education wise is all up to you too, make your own mistakes, don't be studying things because your parents ask you too but rather because you want to do them and be happy with it. Make your own mistakes, no one will no failure untill you experience it, and heck with the "Learn From Other People's Mistakes" That's utter bull shit and I HAVE never learnt from other people's mistakes, i only gain a head, that doesn't mean i've grown a brain. Because what is there to learn when there's no lesson to begain with in the first place? Have fun living your life my fellow human beings. (: I wish you all well.

Erika Shimada.

I know it's kinda late, BUT, happy birthday

I always have all the fun that I want. (:

Happy 20th Birthday, Stef my babykins!
Happy Birthday, Shermooo!