Friday, December 30, 2005

best day=worst day

yeas the photos are up,my printer is working once happy. so go check it out :D

yesterday,was one of my worst couldn't have gone any worse.
First it was my mum,then kyle. But kyle made it better,and i won't ever mention the 'D' word again.but it hurts.but it's worth it. i love kyle. :D

Oh and today,dance sucked like anything. I forgot most of my steps,had to practice again and again. Guess this is what happends when you have to memorise more than 10 songs worth of dance. I even screamed out the equation of anaerobic respiration while practising.HOW APT! HAWRS.
kyle is coming down now.laters.

what can i say? Many of you out there who know me,would know me as a person who loves to take big risks and chances no matter what the outcome is. But waiting for a your bf to come back from australia for 3 years,i ask isit worth it? I've been asking myself that.It's simply far too long i can't deny. I admire celeste's spirit,but i can't think of the fact that he'll be gone.The guy whom took all sadness and misery after a temporary prince love,my only one,my baby kyle.
I tear each night,cause the only thing i have left is FAITH.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

i finally wanna dance

i've been dancing for three days straight.and the sad news is i'll be dancing for the whole week! :(
everypart of me's dance from 2-6,met up with keisha and cheryl over at woodlands cc.and oh,i overslept for my cca,i woke up at 11.30 and dance was gonna end at 12.But i overslept for a good cause hogay! i was finishing up my english homework,well sorta trying to finish,only managed to find 16 phrases,and i need 300 hundred phrases. HAWRS,by grace, I pray i'll have the speed and energy. :D

if you're ready to be my everything,
if you're ready to see it through this time
and if you're ready for love then
this i will bring
But im not gonna wait forever this time.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005


went shopping with my folks,bought this new skirt and wedges. :D
i went home,and i helped my folks for the party,with this and that.and i think i did more than 50 plies.cause i was like bending so much. HAWRS.anyway,got showered and dressed for the party.

met up with mark first,ate at waffeltown,and we talked and talked,and joked around.he ate the saturday meal,i had a chocolate milkshake.then we went to the party.saw a few people that i knew.saw kyle and ridhuan.mmmmhmmms.the dance floor was preety small,but it was good,the music totoally got me grooving.drank abit of corona.

what can i say?it was hard to dance in a long skirt,damn should've woren jeans.>:(
got grinded and grinded by a few guys.some of them were pretty good dancers.-hintshints-
there was this particular guy,mervyn or melvin i think from st pat's.was like trying to go all over me according to a source.but nonetheless,he grabbed me away.oh wells.i seriously think this was the best party i ever been to so far.the ones at cheenablack,was like so so so ogay.some which were boring.HAWRS.can't wait for the next party that's like this.YOWZA.


Sunday, December 25, 2005

merry christmas

Firstly i wanna wish everyone a blessed Christmas this season,and if you're happy that you got what you want for Christmas,i'm happy for you. But if you didn't get what you wanted for Christmas,well im sorry to hear that.

Above all this festive joy,yesterday i was thinking and numbering the many people that i knew who were upset,it seems i gave up counting cause i lost track and there were simply too many,not too mention i was one of the very few.
I felt even more depressed as one by one everyone tells me why the sadness. No one can seem to take away the misery from their eyes,brokeness from their hearts,shatterdness from the soul. But i pray that you may find hope,and clinge on to faith,afterall, even on Christmas,anything can happen. :D

Mark FOO came over to my place yesterday,for my mum's christmas party,glad he did,and a first time i ever spent Christmas eve with an ex-crush.HAWRS.we got dirty,and i meant cleaning up after the kids,cause powder was on the floor like everywhere! Nearly died,cause there was lack of oxygen. Chill around,mingled. snuggling up on the couch drinking,PEPSI? watching t.v. a christmas carol,and mr bean. HAWRS.then he left at 2.15.

And so this morning,when i got out of bed,i received messaged receiving wishes and blessings,(THANKS TO YOU PEEPS! AND BLESS YOU ALL!). But when i searched under my christmas tree,i couldn't find my presents at all! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
but on the other hand,i didn't get what i want for christmas,neither can no one can give me what i yearn for christmas. Like what i always say to all my friends,if there's a chance,seize it.don't let it pass you by.

OH,and TOO THAT GUY WHOM USED TO READ MY BLOG,(don't know and don't care if he still is):
oh yea so much for everything,thought you were suppose to give me what i want for christmas,bullshit. Save it,i don't want it especially from you,cause if i'll take it,i'll just feel sick inside. I don't mean anything to you,i finally realise and i finally woken up. I am such an idiot,can't belive i actually wasted my time on the stuff we did. When actually there was someone out there waiting for me all awhile,but i gave it a miss. PFFFFFFT! Sure we can still be friends,like you always said,but it seems i'll never be good enough even to be your friend. BUT,even when you still need a friend,i'll still be here,i've always been.Yea i really do feel sorry for you,i've given up waiting,cause it finally rain on the other side,and im gonna go there,ALONE.My blessings to you and the next hot girl you found.

To anonymous:
alright yeas so it's called lifting,not much of a ripp off,go check YOUR dicitionary before you spam please.and even so. SO WHAT? does it have any effects to you? NO RIGHT?and if you're here to give any prep talks about orginality,save it.
I HAVE originality,and please,don't mix hollywood with reality.I'm not trying to be mean but really,so what?
oh and merry christmas and a blissful new year to you.

Friday, December 23, 2005


baked cookies,yes my marshmellow chocolate chip cookies.the ones that most of the people i know are die hard fans too.wrapped them and went too orchard,was santa claus for an hour. passed it too cheryl PHUA,amanda BAY, shafiqah,cherry, mark,ali, sher,jerome mak,adam and tim. I was suppose to have more,but too bad none were in orchard.don't worry lar peeps,there's more at home! :D

adam was kind,he followed me to orchard mrt,and he was perspiring buckets and buckets.gave him a hug,didn't mind.
Then Sher messaged me,a shocking question,sure it's what i want for christmas,but among all the guys why him lar? I'm seeking for what is right.someone who understands me,someone who knows that there's no such thing as waiting only paitience,someone who won't betray,someone who knows that history IS already history. Someone who know that promises are not meant to be broken. Just that special someone,is out there.



I've been recovering from my mental breakdown,with the help of alot of people.EEEEYAAS! :D
What can i say? It wasn't worth it all aint it? Glad,friends took me by the hand and showered me with the abundant love and care thay i needed.I LOVE YOU! It's another beautiful mistake.
'That's alright,that's ogay,you never loved me anyway,and i think it's time for you to just move on.
That's alright,that's ogay,i bet you thought you never heard me say,that i think it's time for you to find another dumb blond,cause it's not me no no no.'

christmas is coming in 2 days.and i still haven't got i wanted.maybe i don't want anything this year,what's the use and what the heck.some of you may already know what i want for christmas and you know that it is impossible to give me what i's alright,nice trying and nice shots you gave there. Thanks for all the care,concern,tissues and love you people gave me still. HAWR.

and who again?who's that guy?oh i don't know him. I don't remember him being in my past or present.

oh and i took back what i said about flirting,maybe some parts of it are true.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

if you're happy and you know it

TO YOU: (the guy whom i know who has READ this)

what can i say?when i woke up today,i felt guilty and i was mad at myself for saying those horrid stuff on yesterday's post,after i read your blog.And i want to let you know this,NO you're NOT sending the wrong signals to me,i was being stubborn NOT to accept it. Oh and if you think you're better out of my life,you're wrong and crazy about that. Without you there's not a bit of that joy to make me smile and think.
Please don't think that you negelected me for things that were unimportant and insignificent, you should be able to breathe in this frienship. You need the space.and plus,rugby is your life ain't it? and I chooose to be forever more,your princess of erm,erm,erm, of erm.shooooot. erm my estate lar.HUR.
You're the best that ever has happend to me,and for that i'm thankful and grateful.
I knew i hurt you one way or another,and i didn't mean too.
I was just angry at myself. and about that christmas present,well it's up to you wether you still wanna give it to me,please don't say 'i don't know' or 'up to you' or 'whatever makes you happy'. I want a confirmation. :)

you look so exquisite when you smile.wait,you are exquisite yourself. :D

woke up to buy school books and help around in the schoolbookshop to kill time.Then mum picked me up for lunch,where we ate at japanese association,and wth,i was in slippers and shorts.well done erika.and she made me pay for lunch. :( HAHAS.went home and changed,and i fell in love with the top that i was wearing,it matches every piece of bottom! met tim,royy and alex.i hate royy,he bullies me MORE then tim does.ARSSSHOOOOOLE!

Nobody's going to love me better
I'm going to stick with you
Nobody's going to take me higher
I'm going to stick with you
You know how to appreciate me
I'm going to stick with you
My prince
Nobody ever made me feel this way
I'm going to stick with you

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

to tim han

TO YOU : (the guy that always read this)

I don't know what to say,and i thought you were someone whom i can count on,someone i can really call my close friend,and all the promises you made it's all some phoney to me in the end. You're so unpredictable.
I waited for a call or an sms from you,cause i was waiting at the poolside crying.but you didn't come.
Just go alright, go on and get outta my head,i'm living on the wrong side of a parallel universe. I'm just stomping in the dark,living in a crash world.

You turn out to be exactly who i thought you were. I never pretended to be someonelse,it's been me all along,and it was even me who got hurt infront of everybody.Look,i'm not writing all of this to discriminate you or whatsoever. I just wanna say that i know how it feels to be afraid to show who you are. I was,but im not anymore,and the thing is i really don't care about what people think or do or say about me,because i belive in myself,and i know that things are gonna be ogay.So what if life will have the upright downs in life that will eventually bring me down? In the end,it's you i feel sorry for.

I know that guy who said those promises is somewhere deep down inside of you,but i can't wait for him.Cause waiting for you is like waiting for rain to fall over a drought.USELESS and DISAPPOINTING.

To accept the 'gift' from you is like accepting an unwanted and unexpected rain, all of a sudden it spoils your whole activity. I wouldn't wanna accept unless you really mean it deep down in your heart. Yeas i agreee im one of those million girls in the world,who will wish that you were her guy. Whatsoevermore or are you playing the hardball? Maybe i'll accept it that i'll never be good enough for you.

Monday, December 19, 2005


HAWR.that's my title on my post.don't know why,but i decided to call it HAWR.
yesterday we celebrated Samantha's birthday.HAPPY BIRTHDAY! :D
then i took a long journey here and there,doing my errands.was suppose to meet TIMOTHY from SJI but that lil turd was hopping here and there,so i told him to go hop away.rented 3 dvds.ate pizza.and well yea lar.fought with my sis and mom,and practically everyone in the family.i didn't had a good night that night.especially since cassie was on the other line,holding on to the brink of tears,cause of relationship problems. STAND UP LIL GIRL,A BROKEN HEART CAN'T BE THAT BAD. :))

alright.having dance later and japanese tuition.SHIT I HAVEN'T DO THE HOMEWORK YET.SCREW ME LAR. pooooooped,finished danced then accompanied nisha and pei zhen to centrepoint,after that met santos and a big whole group of his friends who were playing dota at cyberdome.i liked our lil chat together,he made me smile he made me laugh,laugh too hard:D thanks for hearing me and hearing you in return.anyway me and my beautiful bunch of friends will be performing tomorrow
at 8pm. please support the strait times school pocket moeny fund.
i don't mind anyone coming down,but please do not make fun,or else i'll personally murder you myslelf.-STARES AT XIAN YI-


Saturday, December 17, 2005

if you were mine

woke up late.HE came early,so i was left with 5 minutes to get ready,jumped outta bed.almost twisted my ankle. Watched alot like love,harry potter 3. And then he slept for and hour and a half,while i used the computer and watched a walk to remember. Ate alot of chocolate. Fooled and played around. Though there were moments when i was given the chance to stare deep inside his eyes,i got lost. I couldn't find my way out. He left shortly,leaving me to devour on the rest of the chocolates. Why is it,that something so beautiful can feel so bad? Why can't i get a grip of myself about this? confident during this'll always be.:D
she gave me a sense of hope and how i wish it was true enough. This feeling i never felt in th past years of my life. I feel beauty,wonder,joy,love,misery. I can't see it,but i do feel it.-falls onto knees and pray-

going for a christmas partaye now.chiao.

Friday, December 16, 2005

when i look at the stars

i'm back from malaysia,i prettaye much cut short it,and so im the only family member back.STEWpid of me right.yeas i know,so don't come telling me the obvious.but i'm glad i didn't waste a mins. on boring stuff. last night,i sneaked outta the hotel room and went to the poolside with my telescope. It was the most beautiful night ever,i was at Austin hills,in what it may seem i was standing on a hill lar.
It's just too beautiful,so many stars. I wondered how many galactical lights were there. I found peace there,away from the 'war' going on back home. I didn't wanna leave,not never,but 'fraid i had too.what could've been more beautiful then these? The stars up there smiling over me.:D

visited ven's blog,and i got reminded of someone once i heard the song,

far past these roads there is a place
where all our precious dreams remain
someday i know i'll find a way
to keep myself from holding on
stay awake with the sound of my voice
i'm restless from the silence in the air.

i want to be somewhere i can see the roads
a place where every time you can breathe a wish comes true
i want to be where love is real
and memories of distant days come to life again.

inside this room time will stand still
as long as i'm not aware of change
the world outside leaves me behind by myself
it shows no mercy for those who hold on
stay awake with the sound of my voice
i'm restless for the silence in the air.

(bold chorus again)

just came back from far-east,in shorts and slippers?RIGHT! went to balmoral,to collect my bible and my money,and it seems to get somewhere today took forever,waiting for the bus took me 30 mins.and i waited for 2 buses.nevertheless,i shall never use a cab,unless i'm urgent or late.talked for a while and then scoot off to far east to buy my subway,and again,i swear i had to wait for 6 red-light.STEWpid traffic jam.

was suppose to meet justin cause he was suppose to be my listening ear for the night BUT i went home,mum was hollering at me over the phone like no one's business,and i stood,standing like and idiot,taking all the criticism again,i can't stand SUCKS.thought about something and someone.i want to smash ice-cream at my face.don't come telling me why,but i just do.i'm counting till the days of christmas.there's no magic,so i decided, why bother oh and about the song,RUNNING AFTER YOU,by planetshakers on my blog.please don't come complaining too me to change it,keep your filthy complaints to yourself and the world will be a better place.but then,when i was running for a bus,i suddenly sang this that's the reason why i wanted to HALLELUJAH,i love the Lord.anyone has a problem?

Thursday, December 15, 2005


do you hate it when you are involved in a three-some?making you the 3rd partaye for God knows the reason?well i have.i don't know what i do to deserve labelled the bad girl now.what do you want me to do?
leave him alone?don't sms?don't call?don't speak?cut all connections with him?what?if it makes you happy,then ogay.
-pauses for a long time-

i couldn't sleep last night,i spent how many hours doing my maths homework? 12-4.hahas well done erika.and then i went down,to cry again.dryed my tears,slept under the stars,it was beauttiful AND OH AND OH AND OH! I SWEAR I SAW SOMETHING SHOOT OUTTA THE SKY! :D made a wish.i know it won't come true,would it?

i abhore it.take me as a sacrifice so you can never see me again.everything of you is like the thorns of a rose bush peircing horizontally/vertically straight into my heart.what else can i say?im just a shadow amongst the thorns of a flower.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

if it's alright

I should've known
Day we met
The way you turned and waved at me I never will forget
Two days later who'd of guessed
That we would make it this far just to put it all to rest

And if it's alright I'll stay until it's late untill
You tell that its time that we moved on
And if it takes all night I'll wait here till the
Daylight so that I can see that we just don't belong
Its alright we were wrong

If you're crazy then I'm insane
Two people with the same condition
It never goes away
It's not our problem anymore
But let's just call it even when I'm walking out that door
And oh it won't be easy cause it was hard from the start

And if it's alright I'll stay until it's late until
You tell that its time that we moved on
And if it takes all night I'll wait here till the
Daylight so that I can see that we just don't belong
Its alright we were wrong

Rest of me for some reason it's in the sky so think I'm up high
Must have lived for some reason wasn't a lie just wasn't right
Just wasn't right

And if it's alright I'll stay until it's late until
You tell that its time that we moved on
And if it takes all night I'll wait here till the
Daylight so that I can see that we just don't belong
And if it's alright I'll stay until it's late until
You tell that its time that we moved on
And if it takes all night I'll wait here till the
Daylight so that I can see that we just don't belong
Its alright we were wrong
It's alright we were wrong
It's alright we were wrong
Ohhh It's alright we were wrong
I should've known
Day we met

all you wanted

if you want to,
i can save you,
i can take you away from here,
so lonely inside,
so busy out there,
and all you wanted was somebody who cares

prince came over to dry up my tears,though knowing very well he was one of the reasons.but he was brave enough to embrace the he might be like out of my life in a way,but his presence,his love,his care and utmost concern,is like the wind,i can't see it but i defitnetly can feel it.but there's one thing im really scared to do now,im so scared to death,im just so so so petrified about it.

met up with nisha,and i had a goood chat with her.thanks arr,i'll pay you back all the 10 cents i owed you in years once someone pays me back.ah know who.hahas.eck about that person lar,long gone,i don't remember the word 'we' existed in life.:) you're the best.

ohs and im proud to say that i finished my bio and chem worksheets.HUR!and 1/2 of maths.yeas.oh wells.stll gotta study for the test.-sulks- i hate it.rawrs.:(

prince came over to pick up his ez-link.which he left behind.tsk.tsk.walked him home.then went off by lost halfway,never use shortcuts.long cuts are better.and do not ask anyone in that neighbourhood for directions.sickening lost for 20 minutes.

had prata.yums.thanks arr prince.too ADUM,sorraye for stealing your gay partner away.:D

Tuesday, December 13, 2005


yesterday,someone asked me what love really was?it was my pal from japanese class,which seems im the only youngest there.i stared at him,and paused for a second,and everything came back too me. you know that feeling and everything seems to freeze for a second.
well i looked him in the eye,and told him what love really was,and it seemed i was reciting the verse of 1 Chorinthians 13.which i posted below,and he turned and said thanks,it's been sometime since my girl said that to me.i wanted to crouch.

the prince picked me up and his loyal servant with us,adam.hit him for me thanks.stayed up at my poolside to find some stars and look at the moon,i need a new telescope.the moment between me and mother nature was splendid,the wind made me knew something, can't see it,but you can feel it.and then she gave me a moment to cry.yes to cry,finally for 5 months,it seemed hard to cry in the first place.but she showed me how to cry.i was scared at the same time,i didn't knew what to do,so i just could something so beautiful,could ever make me cry?how could something so beautiful could make me stand on the threaded line?

going out with the prince for a movie at night,and i pray for myself to stand and walk strong,and to witness a miracle and to stay with my only hope.that's all i ask for.

ah im not going out anymore.mum doesn't allow.-mummbles-i saw a rainbow, was beautiful,i mean im not trying to exagerate but the minute i saw it,i smiled and i was so exicted.but the minute i rung up prince and turn back to the sky,it disappeared and so did the sun and the rest of the beauty.i want someone next to me tonight by the poolside at 9+.anyone i don't care,i guess i could really use a hug and a shoulder to cry on,now.

Monday, December 12, 2005

love is

Love is always patient,love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not selfish, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
love is not happy with evil but is happy with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.

numb again

im awake,to find the sun rays resting on my eyes were facing singapore.i didn't wanna get out,i just wanna stayed in bed.
so maybe,you can't give me my christmas present.but there's something else i want,maybe just one last thing.and than that's it,i won't ask was hard for you to put it into words of what you wanted to say to me right? go play 98degrees-the hardest thing,or better yet to save your energy and bytes just go check the's alright and it's ogay.:/

Sunday, December 11, 2005

don't ask much

i slept during service just now.yawns.luckily cherish woke me up.thanks ar! service for youth will be on sunday afternoon 1.30 to 3.can't remember what time we's at hall 9.took the mrt to bishan to meet 2 people.and well.yea.i was happy.(: i really was,finally happy,for the very first time in about 5 months.i'm beginning to smile at everything,singing in the shower and all.but i guess
you're still deciding.somewhat caught in the don't have to be you know.what is there to think about?why are you so scared about someone who really wants to be with you?i know you're scared.but i know why you're scared,cause you wanna be with me too.i don't wanna be the girl who needs you,i wanna be the girl who wants you.i want you to take A RISK.take A DARED TO is a leap of faith.are you willing to take my hand?so i can show you things you never seen?hear things you never heard?feel things you never felt?deeep inside you're so lonely,but out there you're so busy,i'll take all of that away.i wanna go up to you,watch you sleep and then finally whisper in your ear te quero.te's gonna be's gonna be's gonna be more than i can take's gonna be's gonna be's gonna change everything i's gonna be's gonna be so's gonna be sooner if you let 2 hearts beat together,the sooner you'll know that love is needs time now or's gonna be tough but it's gonna be strong enough.
kiss me and smile for me.hold me.

something i never had.

just woke up.i'm not tired still.was talking through the night till both of us wanted to sleep.going for service soon.and yeas it has changed to expo on sundays clashing with the other services by city harvest,and new creation.tsk,tsk.looks like there'll be fights over carparks.tsk tsk.

wish that i could read your mind.
understand what you're hiding in your heart.
then maybe baby,i could help you see,how loved you are.
wish that i could find the words,
that would echo inside of your soul.
cause then you'll know,i love you so.

what can i do to make you love me?
what can i do to make you care?
what can i say to make you feel this?
what can i do to get you there?

Saturday, December 10, 2005

i hate to go

i was awaken by smses at 2.30 in the morning,3 from tim han and 1 from ROYY TONG.and so i replied the following morning,started screaming on the sms to royy tong for fooling around. rawrs.(im gonna kill you!)

got dressed,went to the westin hotel,(i still like to call it westin) to drop off my folks and sis.since it was my mum's birthday tomorrow.went in and outta the hotel lobby at least a dozen times to do errands for my parents.and alas,i was finally seated in the hotel-room.frozed to death,sniffles and atchooos.): called tim,was suppose to hang out with i went down to cuppage.then walked to p.s to enjoy starbucks and conversations and read someone's diary!i've yet to read the last page,it just left me wondering.made 3 new friends.aileen.jeric.santos.(:
all of us parted and me and tim went to enjoy supper at the prata shop at thomson road.yea and so much for enjoying,the people took their own sweet daisy time to get our orders.oh wells.enjoyed it anyway.till the end,i wonder if i should erase the video at the bustop in my's playing over and over again.stupid?insane?crazaye?nuts?juvenile?dumb?i guess i was.and again it left me wondering.

it's my infatuation.can't resist it.finally for the first time in this really nervous.

oh btw,i've got a story to all crushes and lorn and lorn love (ECK!).i don't know if it'll make you laugh or cry.but i know it don't say i didn't warn you.
ah em.

Here's a story of a girl,leaving in the pathetic and lonely world.
She keeps a hidden note that is for her secret crush.
and this boy just talks too much.
Well,im standing in a crowd,and when he smiles,i try to check him out,but i wonder if he even knows the meaning of my name,but he's too busy playing games.
And i want him to know,that if he loose his way,i won't even think about letting him go.
If i cut my hair,if i change my clothes,would you notice me?
if i bite my lips,if i SHOUT HELLO! would you notice me?
what's it gonna take for you to see,i just want you to notice me.
You have your head up in the clouds, tell me when you're coming down.(hope a wishing star hits you!)
i don't wanna sink your ship,it's not about that scolarship.
and the friends that follow you,telling you certain things that might not always be true.
im the girl you never really did see.
i just wanna be the girl that you want,and not only need.
so don't you get me wrong,just make your move,before the moment's gone.
i'm not like the rest,i don't give a damn if you're the best.
you see it's all the same to just be who you want to be.
so don't get me wrong,just make your move,before the moment is gone.
so please tell me,will you ever really notice me?

Friday, December 09, 2005

woke up early,cause some idiot's sms woke me up,tim han! MERHUR.oh wells.met him at the bus-stop.he was on the phone.pffft.but so was i.double pffft.
went to his gran-folks place to pick up his cousin jason,sucha dude.then waited for sidney and samantha his sister,watched chicken was childish but it's helluva cute! ((:
tim was sleeping,caught him sleeping thrice,ass wasted his money to watch a movie only to end up sleeping in the cinema.then jason and samantha parted walked to far-east with sidney and him.talked and talked and talked and talked and talked.till sid left.
then i decided to be 'nice' to go all the way to the mama shop to buy brands for his gramps.hey,that rhymes! :D
poor dude,tired and all.he's a nice guy.mean but nice.he looks ABIT like his sis,she's prettaye f.y.i. mmmhmmm.

Skin the color of cinnamon
His eyes light up and I melt within
Feels so good it must be a sin
I can't stop what I started
I'm giving in
He brings life to my fantasies
Sparks a passion inside of me
Finds the words when I can not speak
In the silence, his heartbeat is music to me

I am NOT full blooded chinese
Reads the words on his lips
He tells me, ahhhhh aiiii when he takes a puff
And my heartbeat pumps so strong
Getting lost in orchard road
He whispers te quiero, te quiero
I begin to give in with no hesitation
Can't help my infatuation
It's pure infatuation

Thursday, December 08, 2005

im all alone

yawns.morning to all.(scratches head)
well well well,i couldn't sleep last night,God knows the reason why,i spent the whole night looking at the rain and lightnings just to pass time.till it hit me hard.

it's no fun sitting at home,cause there's no one to talk to,mess around with,hit,punch,arm wrestle,snuggling up on the couch.
mimicking the people on msn or friendster.
no one to have lunch with,shop around,laze around,movie with around.
no one to sit under the stars at the poolside and talk about nothing in's so boring.sure i've got thankful and grateful for that,but i miss that someone next to me,where he would hug me tight and whisper sweet nothings in my ear.someone to come up from behind give me a big surprise by planting a sweet kiss on my cheek.ha what a lonely christmas not too mention boring one.

going to meet up daryl WEE to catch up on everyone at my ol primary school,kcpps.eating lunch at j8.yumsyums.((:

alright im back,after doing my errands,met up with timothy han.ultimate slackers lar we.walking up and down,building to building.bumping into this person that person.HAHAS.had fun though he made me carry the plain busicuits!rarrs.then he was nice enough to drop me of at city hall.HA thanks.:D

he's nice lar.tried to talk him out of some stuff.and gawd,STUBBORN MULE! or prolly worse than that lar.but he was different than i thought he would be.he's different,he's maybe catergorised under not your average acs b boy? HAHAS.watching chicken lil with his cousins and my sister tomorrow.nights.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

i'll take you to MY shangri la

so i just came back from thailand.i forgotten what to blog about,despite making a list! HAHAS,useless piece of shit. i had fun in thailand,thouogh i gotta admit,it is my first time going there.i had fun.i had dreams of alot of people,freaky but i hope it's not true.((:

saw RACHELKOHSIYI ND ADELINEQUEK at a shopping mall in siam,mbk was it?yeas,i was like wth.HAHAS.missed my friends.muasmuas.-throws flowers-

bought an addidas jacket,addidas hot shorts,roxy hot shorts and 2 tops from the night market.OMG LAR,despite the wide variety of the branded stuff the price is like 2 1/2 times of singapore.oh wells.i grew fat and i know don't come telling me the obvious people.and damn my mp3 failed me.)): rawrs.

i pretty much couldn't shop much since we had to meet my mum's friends.and it's prettaye awkward how each and every trip to a foreign country,we go to church.
very holy of me eh?!? HAHAHAHAS.foood was fabulous.can't say much,had some LALA'S with my mum my dad and my sis.anyway hoped you guys missed me.((:

Thursday, December 01, 2005


im back from the building next to forum.
went out with zachery TAN and his friends one of which were vernon,and this guy also working at far-east 'reign',three girls.forgotten their names.:D
was rather queit though as i was really shy,unusual of me to be shy today,maybe cause they were like older then me,all 17-18.
watched them play pool,almost dozed of seating,like i was bored lar!
terence messaged me,STEWpid DICK HEAD.then
jonathan YIP messaged me.HAHAS.
folks came to pick me up,stared at my room,stared at my suitcase,stare at my colset,stared at my desk.
i have not pack,and i have randomly did my homework.hurhurhurhurhurhurhurhur.leaving for thailand tomorrow,won't be back till tuesday though.
gotta scooot,take care y'all.till then God bless! ((:


my new skin.not done though.alright im gonna go out with zachery TAY now.will be back to blog somemore.
don't miss me.((:

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

it's like

amazingly but i haven't started on my holiday homework yet at all like i always use to.but eck.
had tremendous fun yesterday.bought 2 new tops from zara.-i like,i like-((:
nothing to write about mainly.
watched harry potter AGAIN with daniel at like 10.30 in the morning can! -yawns-
was suppose to meet up with nicholas,IDIOT ARSS,pang sehed me.went home to sleep.yawns.

have a little faith in me.:D

Monday, November 28, 2005

HORRAH! the pictures are out,thanks to samantha yeo,my junior. :D

visited my japanese cousins,took the whole family to wild wild wet including my sister,kimberly,my mum and my grand-POP.didn't had fun,was rather miserable.ahh bengs and ah lians polluted my 'air' with all that chinese, YoUu BeRrRiiII e KaAwAAiI wORrX.and their saliva flew on to my face. it's so revolting!then went home for steam-boat, i would say it's the japanese version of ODEN.hahas.
16 of us ate at my place.yumsyums.
i'm pooooped.gonna go to the zoo with em tomorrow,and i MIGHT bring my 'son'.((: tooodles. :D

Sunday, November 27, 2005


had the class gathering yesterday,wore the wrong outfit more sudden pop up 'something ons' before a bbq at the BEACH.couldn't go for service,was too late.took a bus,ALONE to orchard,preetaye much frowned.

had the christmas performance at paragon,for the strait's time school pocket money fund.performed thrice.saw people at school,yes hugs and kisses.then after that i decided to pig out with salma at taka,wth i seriously PIGGED out.then went to lucky plaza to check out prices of some phones,im so short of money.)): RAWRS.anyway,went to far east after that to collect dust at ali's and sher's shop.couldn't eat dinner at all,i was still full. CHRISTMAS IS COMING,and im still frowning each day.)):

Friday, November 25, 2005

rugs are not for sale,HERE.

sorry fellow human beings living in a crazaye world.what can i say? YESTERDAY
i was so confused.
i was so damn effed up.
i was so miserable.
because of you i'll never play 'BULLSHIT' again.
had to rush of for church dance,and it could've never been better.i was so miserable,and i was exhausted.and i have to memorise 17 dances,of different songs. )):'s unfair.couldn't sleep that night,kept tossing and turning and i was so aware of everythhing around me.let's face it,im SCARED.

TODAY,woke up at 7.30,i knew i was gonna be late for dance which started at 8,and like i left the house at 8 sharp.HO HUMS,had to suffer misery again,during dance,so i couldn't smile abit.went out with salma too orchard,to find stockings,instead we got unsatisfactory we had to spend a freaking 12 bucks stocking instead,then we just waste our time between bugis and orchard.took bus 54 back,and i froze when i passed by ijtp's soccer field,whatever type of field is used for recreation. i wanted to cry,cause i had to see someone there,it's an all guy's school training BTW,im STRAIGHT.
WTH LAR im even more miserable! oh shucks.i wanna cry,but tears won't come's so hard,maybe i should waste my time to clubbing tomorrow with addie. i'll drown it all down on a shirley temple.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

jerome mak

jerome added me on msn,we talked and we talked.the next thing i knew it,he was asking me if i could go town with me,and i did. we watched our first movie,ZATHURA,and i paid for the nacho's combo.HAHAS what can i say? we just like to irritate each other.this movie was held at p.s.
the second one was at marina square.hahas.watched harry potter.i paid.i paide this time.then we had CARL'S JUNIOR for dinner,and he paid! ((: yumsyums
sat at the esplanade roof top to eat,and talked and talked. sucha interesting guy with a splendid voice. ((: don't deny that jerome,you know so.

when i got home,and opened my closet,i needed,to SHOP!im running out of tops.and oh wells,i'll prolly go buy a new skirt,if must. and,i've yet to go ice skating.hmmmms.wonder when should i go.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005


alright,it rained,it seems to be raining forever,but i loved it,i liked splashing in the rain,getting myself wet,feeling the morning breeze.and running around dancing.raindown.((:
it's FINALLY 'snowing'.((:

don't come asking me why am i so happy,but i just seem to be when i woke up,yesterday i was so upset and so were the other days,but somehow,somewhat,i know someone is falling for me and missing me,don't ask how i know,but i just do,i don't know who the hell who.this person wants to catch me,he seem he had,but i don't know bizzare i know.

had dance,and i was tired yet drowsy,who wanted to dance on such a nice rainy day?
went to orchard to buy candy and well windowshop for a while at heeren's with SALMA!.then scoot off to golden-landmark to get some necessary stuff for dance.pigged out.((:
then she came over and we were like having ww3 at my place,against my sister,and she got so pissed that she pour some stinky oil on my door.hahas.BIATCH!now someone is really barking.HAHAS.

got to know a girl named charmaine from BPS! it's like she's such A HOT BABE! ((:
don't deny it,cause you are one.she's sucha personable and so free-spirited.((:

alright,gotta go have a cat-fight with my sister.

Monday, November 21, 2005

it's no fun running around without an aim

so i woke up late.i went online,and boredom overtook my time.then i did rather something interesting today,to me it is lar.
i was playing with tea bags,lipton's i rested for about 15 minutes with 2 dampen teabags over my eyes,since i studied that teabags are said to help fade under eyebags because they contain tannin and polyphenols which have an astringent effect.HAHAS.
then later,i use the tea leaves and scrubbed it on my skin,and like it really works,it gave a me amuch smoother and calming tone and skin! go try it,i gurantee it does wonders! ((:
then after that,i got dressed for the chalet at nrscc,siang koon's chalet.WTH LAR!i stepped on dirty muddy water.luckily there was a toilet nearby.HAHAS.then met glenn,took an mrt and cab to the place.
was damn pissed off cause me and glenn waited for jin wei or anyone's call,so we walked to the beach,enjoyed the breeze for a nice 2 hour lar! ((: pffft,but nonetheless it calm me down.
then i finally got hold of siang koon's number,and went venting my anger on the phone at jin wei,finally found the bungalow for a pathetic 20 mins,since the place was magnanimous.
lot's of people from acs b,and well other 'sorts' of people.
in the end,i got chased away and was quarelling with jin wei for another 20 was a good cause,so thanks lar anyway.
me and glenn wound up wasting our $14.50 ride to orchard cinileisure,to eat dinner at yoshinoya.-yumsyums-
walked around,celebrated over famous amos cookies,than walked over to far east.
WTH?it was like freezing cold,when i walked,maybe cause i was wearing a halter,but couldn't be,glenn was worst off lar,he was wearing long sleeve.
walked around,looked at shoes,visited my brothers.
bought 3 earrings for the price of one.((:
then we took an mrt back,oh yea,from now on,glenn is my a single mother,how proud. ((:

Sunday, November 20, 2005



went to j8 to support cherri and another girl,forgotten her name,just to realise she'll be singing on monday instead,i was like HAHAS! i was with ji min and salma.and i was like wearing this simple white-t shirt.and my levi's folded up to 3/4.and an acs tie around my neck.and a skateboard on the other hand. pretty much looked like a punk ass.anyway,we went to st michael's school,it was not too bad except i think we embarrased ourselves like nuts.then we went separate ways,i of course went to far east,to get the bloody board fixed.BUT DAMN IT! it's so damn effing heavy that i can't even do a proper ollie. -grumbles-. rushed for service,i wanted to scream at the bus driver for coming late,effing long can!then i clombered up to church to find my cell,and plopped a seat next to them.and oh we went walking to the beach,for some erm km i think.but oh wells.folks picked me up to go to the airport to send of uncle alfred and celebrate auntie kim's birthday.i was pretty bored and tired,eating my dinner on the other hand and running around looking after 9 kids.ohs and im slightly happier now.


bored like shit today.but i went for worked and got my pay at my aunts place.yes im working as a caretaker for her house,lame and er wth i know,but its good.earn 55 per sunday and a bonus of 800 next week once i submit my work for her my legs and arms are aching me.oooooh boy.anyway,im using my dads laptop,EFFING tough lar.







Friday, November 18, 2005

i tried.

alright i ate lunch,but gave up halfway,so i decided to lavish it on my watermelon drink.walked and tried on clothes at almost all the branded shop at wisma with DAWN BEY AND HUANG JI MIN! had a lil fun,but nothing seemed to mend my heart.then stephanie yeo called,telling me she saw sean ng,i was laughing and laughing,but belive it or not,i left for p.s and TA DA sean ng working at go complain about him! HAHAS,joke.anyway,i was like eck about it,cause what impact was there?nothing.loved all my 'bfs' there, steph yeo,sandra lyn,elsa,tiffany,kym and rachel.THANKS FOR MAKING ME LAUGH AND SMILE GIRLS.I NEEDED IT,THANK GOD I FOUND IT IN YOU GUYS. ((:
it was theraputic and soothing,to get a soul cracking with laughter and simply tired me out today.

you've become everything i loathe,
now everything between us is comprimised
what could have been and what could be is simply gone right before my eyes.i refuse to belive that but it HIT me hard.i loved you so much,beyond anyone could imagined but now it's empty everywhere...and i can't fix all those holes.
but i found a drift of words unspoken.

maybe i'll scream cause it hurts,
your every word cuts me inside.
and now we're saying goodbye.

i can't like your character.what you've become..i don't think i can ever change my mindset,it's just too're speech and lifestyle is so different from's you i did you ever become tliek this?why did you had to guide me along this lie?it's just you...
belive me..i just can't just not your type i suppose.i'll never be.

movin already gone.and i'll be.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

you WERE mine

what can i say? im having eating disorders,not that im anaeroxic,but i just refused to eat,im just not eating cause im not fat,im simply just not eating cause i've got no appetite at's been 3 days,and i've been drinking green-tea frapps.
what can i say? i lost everything i had.i wound up crying and just not being myself,im just crushed.i wound up locking myself in the toilet,with 5 friends painstakingly trying to urge me to get the end i did,but i just cried again.
what can i say? i'm back to square one again.
what can i say? it's useless.not sleeping that much.getting bad dreams,wound up screaming either someone else's name,or just crying,and the moon's ray shining so brightly.
what can i say? im not broken,so don't fix me.

cause im crush,so crush,cause i always thought that it would've been the 2 of us.

Monday, November 14, 2005


CRUD! the printer is gone,so i can't upload any photo's.
and DOUBLE CRUD im grounded.)): rarrs.
im simply mad at this small world. sneaking out tomorrow, with 2 besties of mine. and christmas is coming?i didn't know that.((:
can't wait for the occasion,hahas think i'll be in the festive mood.ogay so here's what i did to kill time. QUIZZY! ((:

Your Icecream Flavour is...Neopolitan!
You aren't satisfied with just one flavor. They say variety is the spice of life and this shines through in your Ice cream of choice! Just don't eat all the chocolate and leave the strawberry and vanilla behind!
What is your Icecream Flavour?

Find out at Go Quiz're a very strange person and i think we'd
make good friends....that is if you won't throw
any hand gernades at me*hides behind a pole*

what would you do?
brought to you by Quizilla

Saturday, November 12, 2005


went out of house 6 in the morning and didn't came back till 12 midnight.had school,got back my report book,sucked like anything.Than i rushed for cca,then went to parkway to meet my cell leader and my members for the dance.then back to orchard,forum to meet cassie and justea.(:
oh and i woke up this morning to receive my mum back form the u.s,and CRUD! she still say, '' oh your skateboard?i didn't buy it,cause i couldn't find it.''
then i was like WTF?but i just told my mum the address of the place,cause i already e-mailed the owner of the shop to RESERVE my board specially for me.)):
DANG LARS! )): then there was comments. 2 headed vicious creatures in my life.

alright gtg now,gonna go watch emily rose.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

an easier way to upload my photos instead of using ol hello picasa.yeas.anyway,when i entered class today,atmosphere was pretty's oblivious that everyone is scared of the results,whose gonna be promoted,all eventually leading into frienship trials.i guess,the school is pretty pathetic,whatever more can i say?we are living in a pathetic world,without insane.
took a bus down to far east with ji min and sandra,just to look at shoes.and we THOUGHT we saw russel kang,but eck,no use daring each other to go up to him and politrly ask was he really russel kang. ((:
met cassie and THE band.i think it was called the DEAD FROGS are something like that,how was i suppose to know,but it had something to do with frogs.then mum called,asked me to rush home to do something important for her.OH CRUD,im getting back my report book tomorrow.)): i don't want.and we like got test right after we start school?how insane and crazy it sounds and feels.the schoool is driving us nuts and to hell. oh yea.

i hope you choke on your dreams,EVERY night.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

OH wells.i trimmed my hair,it already has a fringe and yes it's layered.
hung out at ali's and sher's shop yesterday with cassie,before we met JUSTEA! ((: HAHAS.
i need to loose weight.and get a tan and get a J-O-B!
oh wells.mummie is coming home from america with my new board! -waves ahnd in the air-
THANK GOD! ((: it's been time.oh yeas.i was being naughty today,actually asked my friend to help me with a fake cast,in order not to attend dance! HAHAS. fun fun.oh a maths test tomorrow,gotta go practice later.

Monday, November 07, 2005

it's's all a girl ever ask for.((: Posted by Picasa


Sunday, November 06, 2005

went to visit rachel,riccadona,their mum and the stuff at the hairdresser yesterday,just to kill my travelling time to church.and i think i'll be trimming my hair or cut a fringe there next thursday.
ASS LARS YOU! walked up and down,up and down! ):
then this irritating I international model,approached us,i crusehd the namecard and walked off,i could'nt care less.
then of course,i rushed to service,in flip flops? hahas.right.then back again to orchard,to meet some people and buy my SUBWAY! ((: yumsyums.
oh and i totoally embarrassed myself in bus 54! there were at least 6 korean guys that boarded the bus,one of em was shirtless.and this is how it goes.

guy stares at me.
i stare back.
guys smile.
i couldn't care less,so i turned away.
guy talks to his friend,who was next to me.
both of em stares at me,and i give a weird look.
guy who was shirtless.talks to em.
and now the 3 stares at me,and practically everyonelse in the bus who wanted to know the drama.
one of em talks to me,asking me for something,for what the hell it was.
and i said,HUH?WHAT?
and he said erm nothing.
i flushed red like hell.-hangs head-
and they finally departed,as i was left to be stared at by every passenger,as though im some artifact.HAHAS. ((:'re missing you terribly! )): -RAWRS-

Friday, November 04, 2005

oh my

i was late for class AGAIN,crud,blame it on the rain and the traffic jam.and i happily got wet in the rain,just enough to dampen my spirits. ):
had dance,alright,im starting to enjoy it cause it keeps me off my knees.(:

you know i can't smile without you,
i can't smile without you,
i can't laugh,i can't sing,
i'm finding it hard to do anything.

you see i feel glad when you're glad,
i feel sad when you're sad,
if you only knew what i'm going through,
you know i just can't smile without you.

Thursday, November 03, 2005


oh crud,one by one,we're all getting calls from the schools. -RAWRS-
curses!anyway,eck,they forgot one of the missions,
to bring people DOWN,like way down. ):
so,happy deepavali and a hari raya,to all those celebrating these 2 festives. ((:
shitness,gonna miss someone damn badly. please come back,don't go outta the country.):
oh wells.this is getting me no where,i've got nothing much to say,since i know the oblivious that this is gonna be another boring holiday,so does anyone care to waste their time with me just rotting away?i'll be nice i'll buy you ice-cream.((: -beams- HAHAS.
crud,just crud,i hate it when my folks,never listens or understand me or even hear me out.

Monday, October 31, 2005

i'm feeling seriously down,EFF! those teachers took my very own bestie away from me,and i swear i'll screw them if they take anymore! >:[ -RAWRS-
i guess this post,will be about my very own bestie,one whose been with me,through it all.NISHA SUNIL. ((:

Will we be friends when we grow old?
is this the end of the line?
I hurt with you I love with you the world just seems to get in our way
Is this the end of the line? Oh please don't leave me Don't let your heart let go We'll find a way
The journey has only begun
Is this the end of the line?
Oh yeah, oh Is this the end of the line?
If you leave I'll follow don't let your heart let go
We'll find a way the journey has only begun
Is this the end of the line?

oh please don't go guys.please don''s not over yet,we still gotta finish our FINAL ACT
-runs too room and cry-

Sunday, October 30, 2005

am i that sweet?

since i'm gonna roast under the sun in about 20 mins time.i wanted this colour cause i wanna be dark.ahhh those consequences! ((:
oh wells,did facial yesterday,I SWEAR IM NEVER GOING BACK THERE AGAIN.
then mummy sent me too this language centre,to improve my japanese.
WTH? it's effing tiring lars. i've got class. from monday to sunday? -RAWRS-
oh wells.then met up with a friend,hung out with him,wanted to play pool at riverside,but i assume there was some competition going on with all the pro's that we decided not too,felt like small fries. and what is there to flaunt?
so we watched the legend of zoro at j8 instead.thanks for sending me back! -grins-
WOKE up wide early today for church.
NO FAIR! mummy has the nokia n70! -RAWRS-
and my sis has the nokia 6101 lars. -DOUBLE RAWRS-
anyway,im holding on too all their phones,just so i can trade for another phone.((:
oh wells,im gonna bake now. toodles

im confused,i really am?will anyone care to wake me up when all of this will end?