Thursday, March 30, 2006

i look girly now

recently i have started to tie up my hair,though it's like really short!?! i successfully made it more feminine. (: though i have to use 24 hair pins.HAHAS.still i like the creation both back and front. GOSH NEVER KILL CREATIVITY.
Alright my phone is confiscated so is my mp3 and im grounded,sucks i know. What do you expect? i'm "blessed" to have such parents.-rolls eyes-
I'm getting along just fine, moving abit, i still a tendency to think back and reminensce about the past,oh how i wish i could be there to relieve it once again. >:'(
generally,my folks have been getting me pissed like anything. so it gets me saying SCREW THE WORLD! AND I MEAN SCREW THE WORLD!

Saturday, March 25, 2006

wake me up

1 word, EMPTINESS.
It’s painful to know that even your family members turn their back against you, this doesn’t feel like a family to me. Everyday it feels like world war 3, I’m SICK of it and it’s getting tiring. This whole week HAS’NT been my week, no no no, this whole month HAS’NT been my month, no no no no this whole year HAS’NT been my year. This world is getting crazier and crazier by the minute, so I’ll just say SCREW THE WORLD. I hate my day today, I hate having tea with mum cause it doesn’t feel like tea sessions it feels like im in a courtroom or something, and the jury were the people around me and the Highest person, it doesn’t exist cause the world is to SCREWED up to even have one. To hell with this place that we live in. Cried from 7- NOW. My head hurts and my eyes are swollen. I choke on my own words.
Someone please save me.

Friday, March 24, 2006

damn. im so tired. i want i want i want i RANT to sleep. >:(
had prefects commendation, i hate the bus driver who drove us there. He purposely took one big long route, that meant we passed by all the places *we went, and he was happily whistling as though he knew part of my big secret,creepy how God sends his angels to protect us and watch over us aint it? Inside St Andrew's Cathedral, a place of respect refuge and sanctuary.
Unfortunately the thought of people making soo much noise and sleeping was pretty rude. The sleeping part was maybe exceptional, i too was tired. /: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Laveen told me with have about 76 (was it?!?) chapters of subjects in totoal that we gotta screw our mind with. in about 2 months and a half for mid years. woah after that it'll be our n levels straight in. shit and i'm crying out for my F and N, should've took art. ahhh wells. i really really really would really like to go to bed now,though it's only 10.30. i wanna catch up on my sleep y'all. See you in town,or wherever tomorrow. CHEERS.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

where'd you go?

Where'd you go?
I miss you so,Seems like it's been forever,That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,Seems like it's been forever,That you've been gone,
Please come back home...

I was late for my japanese tuition, cause i had to meet fahmy to MAKE him pass something to *someone. BLOODY-HELL. ):< color="#ff0000">MISERY.
WHAT THE HECK?!? I've to GO FOR COUNSELLING! IS THAT NUTS OR WHAT! there's nothing wrong with me,im perfectly fine! I got locked outta my place,cause i didn't bring home my key. -_-'' I'm still miserable,i miss him too much.
school finished early. 11. so SITI, CASSIE, LAVEENA, NISHA, MAINUNAH, RAIHANAH and ME went down to bugis to shop, we acted like a bunch of lunatics let loose. Ate at Gelare. i farted 3 times.HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAS. it was soooooo hilarious. i had a wonderful time with this people. ((: they made me forget, though i DID irritated them with my. 'This place reminds me of', 'This is where....', ' That shop.....', etc.etc. Still they know how to tolerate my shit. (: Then it was down to ME SITI AND CASSIE, walked to and from from Bugis to city hall. TIRING. we studied at the PADANG!?! then we watched a soccer match. i farted twice this time.HAHAS. had soo much fun. THEN the 3 soccer freaks joined us for dinner. HELL LOAD OF LAUGHTER. ((: -hints to cassie and 'HIM'. UNFORTUNATELY, i broke down in the bus,cassie was there to catch me,and when i reached home, i CRIED even more. though *he called. I cried myself to sleep. and yet again i will still say I MISS HIM!
i DREAD thursdays, it's the tiring day of the week, so many lessons all crammed up in a day. I had a headache. Went to bugis to check out a wallet with cassie.haahs. we spoke in Irish-english accent THIS TIME I DID NOT FART AT ALL! SO HORRREAAAAY! then we met the 2 soccer freaks. FREAKING HELL WASTED ALOT OF TIME! ):< but i rushed back to bishan cause daddy picked my up,i think he suspected that i skipped japanese class. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeps. anyway, i've got my coursework to sacrifice alot of time for. I'm so tired. and still i wanna say I MISS HIM,terribly.

Overall,i would like to say this, people who have been staring at the thing that sits on my head.which that happens to be MY HAIR! You all must have a problem,if not WHY LOOK? it's unique and it's creative, gosh now i know who APPRECIATES the ARTS and who doesn't. BLOODY HYPOCRITCAL FAGGOTS.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

once again

once again,i find my self crawling slowly back to..............nowhere.
once again,i thought i'd found hope,instead i found pain. This is ******* disappointing and hopeless, on and off,on and off,on and off, love isn't a device of an on and off button you know that? i love you,i honestly do. i don't give a damn about idol,i don't know why must you take it with you to this pact that we share, you're different and i don't know why,it's too hard to swallow cause the disaster you made is too pain. Was it all another lie? why did you had to lead me in? This is NOT my disaster,it's YOURS. Just think of this and me as just a few of many things to lie around to clutter up your shelves, And I wish you weren't worth the wait because there's some thing's I'd like to say to you...
I don't think that you know what you've been missing cause I don't think that you know what you've been missing. I dare you to forget those marks you left across my neck from those nights when we were both found at our best I could make this obvious, and in one breath you could just shrug me off your shoulders...

i'm giving you this very last chance,saviour it NOW before it's really too late,i've given you all that i've got,and i still am cause i know you're worth it. So take my hand please, cause i'll show you things you've never seen, hear things you've never heard, feel things you've never felt. I'll take you up to heaven even if i have too. You can do idol,I won't be there in it,i'll just be standing alongside with you. Don't underestimate me, and don't judge me with your other past ex,cause i'm NOT like them at all. I know I'm different. Waiting for you for the past 3 months,i didn't give up,i don't want to.

Your bitter goodbye is ringing through this quiet night,This idle hour just wont pass I've never missed you this much, never thought I would,Didn't think you'd feel so far away.
Your summer perfume is still blowing through this hallway, Autumn's amber red shadows dance I miss our midnight rides on highway 18, 18 is gone
So go past the lights and all the excuses You could have left "sincerely yours" Don't you think it's obvious that I want to say more? Cause anything too daring to say to you, Will be said in this letter, then burned away So you never realize, I'm here.
I'm thinking of your vague reply So I can understand Why we put this at rest Why we forget to Say that we were leaving Say that we were sorry The past remains unspoken As this vacant night is dying But I still miss your summer perfume This cold air brings such a distance to us Such a painful distance I'm still waiting for you to say you hate me now So I don't have to hold on to this burning heart This burning heart is getting old While sitting on this cold kitchen floor, Head down to hide the tears, I've finally realized that you were never meant for me

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

you know what? i think the school shouldn't organise activites that are wasting our education money when we don't benefit any knowledge from it.WHY BOTHER? SAVE IT.
went out with Ji min after that,window shopped.and ohh ohh. i wanna buy this wedges i saw at outfitter's girl, the reef flip-flops, that levi's jeans i've been eyeing on for edges,oh and my clothing at 'herself'. Does anyone care to give me their credit carded? I'll return it back to you the way it LOOKED. ahhhhhhhmmmm had dinner/supper with jed. idiot ass never takes his mouth for a holiday.-shakes head-

so everyone is talking about tomorrow's party at zouk.wha a bummer,looks like alot,and i mean alot of people are going. >:(
well i've been not really sleeping well for the past few days.-grins-
ditto.gtg now.some idoit in the background is complaining.updating tomorrow. (:

Monday, March 13, 2006

everything in it's time. (:

wheeeehooo i'm back from camp. Thoroughly enjoyed myself,cause now i know that im truly saved. I've never felt so loved and so right. and i owe it all to the man who gave up His life. it's such an amazing love.(:
kenny came over to pick me up to celebrate my coming back,went to united square to eat at Pastamania,i was the one who wounded up eating,and we ate mini-melts ice cream.yumsyums. I think i totoally embarrased him and myself,but what gives and who cares? I had soooooo much fun last night. afterall,why not? I made a tourist and his wife smiled yesterday,i felt goood about that. oh and here's a thing,DO NOT EAT AT PIZZA HUT UNLESS YOU'RE WILLINGLY GRACIOUS ENOUGH TO PAY THAT EXTRA 5 BUCKS FOR GST. -sulks- kenny left near to 12. then i fell asleep.i was jus too beat. mmmmmmmmm romp,the upcoming party this thursday,i don't know if i should go,cause all of a sudden i don't have that mood and enthusiasim.
ahhh wells,woke up early morning and dragged my feet to school for leadership camp. I can't belived i wasted 30 bucks on my education that doesn't have any effect on me,about negativity, i know how to handle it and plus i know what i want in my life,and i actually do have sensible and realistic goals. crazy things people do now a these days.tsk.tsk. meeting fahmy,yat and wan later.cheerios y'all. im gonna go sleep now. hahas. on such a lovely afternoon. (:

I turn around to thank him But he waves me with a smileI can hardly believe my eyes
He puts on a halo and starts to fly
Take a look at the ordinary

Don't need to look at Paradise
You could be next to an angel in disguise

Thursday, March 09, 2006


alright, my family NOT including me will be flying off to cheena at midnight on Saturday,i feel guilty NOT going for the trip cause this means my sister has to tolerate them both with all their bull and there she is wanting desperately to scream her lungs out,SHA' UP! and she won't have anyone to lean on or shop with and basically talk cock with. I'm beginning to see different sides of her cause we've been spending more time with each other,i'll gradually pull her away from whatever she's doing and buy her ice-cream or go rent a dvd at thomson plaza or go play with the dog and make up songs adding in our own lyrics.I LOVE YOU NAOMI SHIMADA! ((:

Anyway my aplogies for not blogging,i'll be off for camp on friday and won't be back till sunday, i'll be situated at sentosa,so y'all can still sms or call me. ((: ANYHOOOOO,i'll get on with my say,Monday was restless i stoned,and i mean i seriuosly STONED,so was tuesday, wednesday and today.hahas.but things took a turn for the worst on tuesday,when something happend, people had to call me at the WRONG TIMING and at the WRONG PLACE.yeayeayea i was at Geylang there with my folks and my mum's boss's family buying fruits and giving them a lil tour on sp. I don't wanna go into detail cause it's humiliating. BUT if you y'all really desperately die-die must find out,catch me if you can! (: but things were much much better when fahmy helped us on wednesday! THANKS FAHM! oh and me and laveena and nisha and vivyana and esvari waited for Mrs kee at the canteen since 2-6. -_- and she didn't show her ass. ):<
AND SO TODAY WAS SPORTS DAY! oh and elmo is SOOOOO LAST YEAR! THIS YEAR WILL BE COOOOOKIE MONSTER! (((: cheered and all,i got a TAN! -beams- ate at pizza hut,and er,yea shan't go into detail,everyone la-la basically. BUT i tolerated well. (: went to the health-zone place to do our F AND N,and gosh this is the first time i've ever put so much toil and effort in my work. HAHAHAS. slept during jap class.but i survived.BUMPED into edmund and christian,and OH YEA! i got my book back,booooooooooooooooyeaa. ((:

Sunday, March 05, 2006


YEAS!last week of school before 1 week of holidays start,and then,TAKE NOTE,i'll be studying for nuts cause of n level so people,

THOUGH SHALL NOT SMS AND CALL ME TOO MUCH,i don't mind this but please don't cry all your heart and soul,i'll be here for you,but i know someone who'll never get rid off you. ((: PRAY!
THOUGH SHALL NOT IRRITATE,i swear you won't like this part.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh effff,i need to go to the loo again.think i ate something really bad. ):<


alright.i gotta get ready in about 10 mins. and that's very short. meeting gloria at novena mrt to go for some briefing all the way at EXPO?!? -yawns- i dread.
Anyway,updates about the days. Friday was freaking hell a snore,dance was a bore, i don't know why but I'm starting to dread dance. Maybe because i don't see no aim in doing it anymore i guess,i don't know why. But i'll still go in account of my 'FINGERS'! (: tuition just sucks.but yeas i'll just kick my ass for the 'n's.
But i was actually more excited for Saturday.-ahem- -grins-

yea,i finally went on my DATE! I tremendously and thoroughly enjoyed. Just me and him,alone on a date without any distractions or pesky people.((: BUT,there were too many passer bys,talking,''eh isn't it that guy from idol''. -hints hints too all who know who he is-
went to the library.and then we were suppose to watch a movie,but it was family night,so i had to be home,so we couldn't.bought a subway and 3 cookies,i was a hungry pig. Then we attempted to play pool,but i was underage,and go LUCKY PLAZA somemore! We should've just sticked to cuppage. ):<

Thursday, March 02, 2006


alright. people are going frantic about the a level results.and SHIT! i forgot what i wanted to post today! DAMN! is making me feel lethargic,or isit just me?maybe it is.
anyway to all you noobs out there,i changed my number,please find me on msn to take it. thanks (: daddy bought me a new phone.YEA!
anyway,i've been writing alot in my note book this few satisfied.hmmmmm,i don't have anything to update about.,maybe i won't type. I don't know.
i've been flunking test after test like no one's bees wax,GOSH! shucks.maybe i should go study now. cheerios. I promise for more interesting updates in the future. (: