play with fire erika

They said that you should never ask for more than you have and you should be contented with what you have. Currently i'm living with one of the worst sin a girl could ever be in. Like i'm playing with fire. HOW WONDERFUL IS THAT?!?

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Today was sucha love. Met Wan (JB) long lost friend to surprise Wan but he wasn't at skate park. So Poor Eka & me were roaming around. Till me and Eka left, i met Ean and his crazy friends, thus i met new friends. AND I FINALLY FOUND SOMEONE I CAN HANG OUT WITH ON SATURDAYS! (: n Nurul and Yanti are such love. (:

Like met alot of unexpected people ijail, zul. Met Az as well. (: HEH.

Today was sucha great day for me. My heart goes all silly willy now. HEH i've been brought to a world, a different view of it and the people. (: Today is sucha love.

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that is why i'm playing with fire

my life this week and the future, oh whatever.

It's 8.46 and i'm in the Learning Lab in school. It's freeeeeeeeeeeeee period. Ms Iris Kee did not come to school again. So i guess i'll make a good use out of this period by updating you earthlings.

1)Mid-years are on friday, next week and next next week. I didn't study much so i can predict the grades that will be screened on my report card.
2)Momma left for Aussie yesterday.
3) My advanced flight to the U.S has been confirmed. So surprises for my hispanic, blondes and brunettes and those with korn-rag doo! CAN'T WAIT I SWEAR!
4) Momma, Daddy and Naomi will be in malaysia DURING my birthday. Church camp without me.
5) KONVICTED @ FORT CANNING PARK! BUZZ ME FOR THE LATEST BUZZ!
6) I have to pay for my phone bill, momma says i have to start getting up on my 2 feet, financially speaking. And my bill, $348.58. HEH. GO ERIKA!
7) I spoke to ______ about an upcoming_______and we're expecting the best outta the outcome. -BEAMS-

I won't spill everything. But i guess i can leave you wondering for the better or for the worst. Life can be a real bitch. But it's pretty fun once in a while. I don't need alot of things to keep me happy, and that includes people too.

What's happening?

Many apologies for deserting this blog for a few days thoughst.

Alright, i may never be in the right state of mind, or so i conclude from the many 'stuff' that i encounter. Clubbing as actually become something boring to me. Upcoming parties like the one at far east pavillion, Knovicted @ Fort Canning Park, Soft02@ M.o.S. But the MAIN reason why i always look forward to them is because clubbing is my work out. Some weird reasons why. But i know the girls and i got it all covered. (;

This certain kinda love,

This certain kinda romance,

This is how it moves in it's own mysertious ways.

tira-miss-you

This is what got everyone sizzling today for FnN practical. HEH. My dessert creation.

surprises and slapbacks.

Sarah's surprise birthday party was a blast.
(:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEARY! Hoped you were well-ed surprised enough.

If you wanna see photos. Go over to Joy's blog
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I'm greatly pressured. WELL technically, i can foresee my future this week. I WILL be pressured. My speech tomorrow, plus TEST(s) and my 'OH level practical. I have yet to finalize my dessert.

Alongside, I've got problems I'm dealing with. I thought by numbing pain, it'd help. Smoking didn't help at all. NO matter how many sticks. It didn't work. Note: If you have a problem with me and the cigarettes. Kindly go screw yourself at one corner. I'm sick of the dis encouragement.

Sigh. Ultimately i wish i didn't give my heart out. I know that eventually time will heal all wounds. But YOU were no different than how a lion would eat it's meat and hunt it's next prey when hungry. Subtle yet hurtful.

i totally lost everything dear to me without seeing.

Sigh.

HYPOCRISY

party hats and thinking hats

Livejournal and Xanga. You make me miserable.





Everyone is moving into xanga and livejournal. -shrugs- i still don't see the point of it. But i hear complaints.


So don't screw anyone else. SCREW TECHNOLOGY!





I'm still debating with my pro's and con's of attending this party on saturday. It's either them or love. I had initial thoughts of bringing him over, but would that be appropiate? Would he feel left out around them? I get along well with his side of his friends. We talk, we skate, we smoke, we do rock n roll. I don't wanna decide on this, so as a beloved request, can someone decide for me instead?

we're all blissfully aware of that humans.

Unbelievable

I woke up with a huge aching in my head. I fell asleep on the verenda at 4+ due to some drinks i had at starbucks.

Towners = funny people.
My defination of funny people HERE are the people whereby you bump into at night, you say hello, you give them a hug, you chat for a while and then you live. That's towners. But i like to see what people like to dress to. I like people dressing up in their OWN style. Not the trend dressing them up. Everyday i hope to see something fresh, something new, something that can blow my mind and my knickers. :)

I broke my record yesterday for staying at Far East for a good 5 hour odd at Gallery. HELL i was bored together with Ramlee. I pee-ed more than 3 times. I drank bubble tea. I did NOT smoke. And alot of people think i work at Gallery, though sometimes I'm NO WHERE near the counter. Maybe i'll take up the job during my free days.

Yet i was glad to have found Joy, Amanda, Delyse, Sean, Chloe and Zechary at far east. Chilled out for a while before heading down to cini to meet

Nur HidaYAT . Yes it's that Taufik-Look-Alike/Heartbreaker/Monkey/Dreamer.

The meeting was with all good intentions, though i know many of you can't wait to kill me for meeting up with that jerk, on monday.

We had drinks at starbucks. We caught up. And we're impressed at the tremendous change at both ourselves. I guess huh. We talked about the past, i made him feel guilty, i felt good about it though. I enjoyed talking. But for some weird feelings, i didn't want the night to end.

He sent me to the bus-stop, the least that i wanted out of that meeting was our deepest truths and feelings. We played for a while, we kissed and bid each other good-bye. Now we realised that we miss each other.

The sad part is i'm in in love with another, and it won't be fair to the other. The sad truth is that it's wrong for us to go on, but truth is i miss him anyway.


I Wish you didnt love me
I wish youd make this easy
It was love that caught me
Now it's fear that keeps me with you
I want to be by your side
So I can close my eyes
To the growing emptiness inside that kills me
When I'm with you
You try to break me
Try to hate me
So you can fall out of love
You want to make me believe that I'm crazy
That I'm nothing with out you

It's unbelievable but I believed you
Unforgivable but I forgave you
Insane what love can do
That keeps me coming back to you
You're irreplaceable but I'll replace you
Now I'm standing on my own
Alone.

pretty faces, dirty minds

I realised and it hit me, it's this question that has been hunting me for some weeks.

I finally see that

PEOPLE ONLY LIKE ME WHEN I'M PRETTY.

ummmm right.

I might as well abandon this blog and go fly away. Anyway, recently i did some spring cleaning in my room. Dare say i'm proud of myself.

the second shelf

the last shelf

LOL i don't think any of you want to see what's inside the closet. It's UBER MESSY.

a daughter's letter.

Momma is pissing me to my poooops. I swear i hate to be yelled at early in the morning. Because
1) I'll get grumpy in the day
2) I won't be able to think straight because i'm too absorbed in getting angry at mom.

Mom. I swear being your daughter isn't as nice as you being my mum. I hate you at times and sometimes i love you. I hate you and your friends. I can't believe that you actually trust them and not me. Me your very own flesh and blood. Me who gave you that baby joy in life. Dad's sick and tired of your temper, so am i. Naomi? Now i know where she gets that mean, hot-tempered streak of hers now. It's just so you to bring me and dad down infront of everyone. You can scream all you want at me, because it goes all out of my ears. And whatever you always say falls on deaf ears too.

Don't act all christian-y and stuff. It's revolting to the stomach.
Don't act all nice too me after you've vent your anger at me, it's an earsore.

Tell me once you're ready to act like a mother. I'll be out there in life probably teaching my kids the best and i pray they grow up never to be like you. I'll bring them up as my own pride and joy, and i'll believe them. Because i love them.

I wonder Ma, have you even ever loved us?

Your daughter,
erika.