Everything got me thinking 'bout everything.

I don't know what was i thinking. I haven't been myself sometimes and it's because i'm loosing myself bit by bit each day. Like a hole in a pocket, the coins drop out. I was a master of complacent, i guess i was better then viola & cesario. But i finally realise i know nothing of what happend. It's like i was dead and then alive again, my memory erases everything of events that happend back then. I guess that's good, isit?

i've semi-ed studied the chapter of co-ordination & response. I studied the nervous system and hormones, and the eye is well um getting near. I'm tired. The weekend is soo short, but weekdays are soooo long.

The weekends i use to look forward, but now i dread. I'm wasting my life, money and time. I've decided to stop smoking AFTER my birthday which is june. But pleasee ahh, don't juge me as a person who smokes everyday, it's a weekly thing. I should stop spending. I need to plan out my time, actually, it's the school who needs to do that. Schoool is mundane. School is like a jail sentence, you get in, you do your sentence, you get out.

BLAH. School starts tomorrow. ):

I was wondering the whole while today, what if the picture were us? What if you know, it was just the 2 of us? With no guidance or whatsoever shin-diggy. No one to tell us where to go or what to do or who to be with or what to feel.

But i figured out that you're in love with another. You didn't tell me anything at all. I was beginning to feel that i meant nothing to you at all. I was a nobody. I was a nuisance. I was what you call 'oh another person in my life'.

Maybe i was right, i'm better out of your life. You don't need me. At all.

For certain, i'm sure, we had our moments of fun. I'm thankful for that. Gawd, i'm like emo now i know.

Will you remember in time to come? How would you know that i won't be around in Singapore next year? Or in the future?

Well i guess i'll see you in a decade.

(this is for isaac)

forever yours,
XOXO erika.

Currently it's 10:26 and here's what i'm doing,
doing my o-level coursework, watching "The Mummy Returns", blogging and munching on cookies and milk. On top of that, i haven't showered yet. I just got back from tuition, and the crowd goes 'eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew'.

EDITED

Did i mention how i've been also thoroughly enjoying myself this past fwe days despite the short time i have. Eagen has been susbsisquently been putting a smile on my face. Thanks sweeetheart. Anyway i made 2 new friend Ben & Syed. Nice people/funny people. Dinner at food republice before heading down to tuition. Bummmer.

Open house to close house

EHEH. I added a little music to make this space alittle more uh alive? Yea Jack Johnson, someone got me hooked to it though. -winks- Yeap jack johnson h was he guy who also did for curious george's movie soundtrack.

Well i have forgotten what i've wanted to say, as always.

Oh, maybe about open house huh? I totoally had to pang-sehed the gang for ngee ann but i managed to meet them at tampines for Temasek instead. I rated umm 6/10. Reason being, we went there late and most of the displays were closed. But hey-ho, it got even better when it was pouring like there was no tomorrow. The funny part, we toook the wrong bus that lead us to uhhh little india when we were supppose to be back at Tampines instead. However the gang split and there i was with Nisha in Little India to find my dessert, instead we ate Curd Vadai in the end. It's DEEEEE-LEEEE-CIOUS i say.

I wanted to find egan, guess i didn't want to disturb him. Oh wells, i'm talking to him via msn anyway. (:

OHHHHH BOY.

Everything left me in a blink of an eye.

2 boys and 2 girls. Like i said before, if no one is meant to stay they should VERY WELL LEAVEEEE.

Conflicts n Cornflakes

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I haven't been blogging! ):

SHITZZZZ! Anyway, i've been busy and getting lack of sleep. Doesn't mean i'm awake means i'm not tired. I ammm sooooo deeply in want of a bed. Well homework is piling up to my head and further even. Projects soon to be due. Chapters to revise on. So in the midst of blogging, i'm juggling my FnN coursework and tuition homework, (I HATE TUITION!)

13th January- Service and friends. Guo, Xing, Joy, Bay. Dinner at TCC. Walking aimlessly to P.S. Emo talks and Emo walks. 'Nuff said.

14th January- Laguna Beach. Tuition. Eating dinner at favourite Thai Restaurant. Teared because of some idiot.

15th January- Dad's birthday. MEGA BIG HEADACHE. Egg cup holders for birthday present.

Today is the usual. I was telling Nisha how i suddenly felt that my life went stagnant all of a sudden. Rachel was arguing with herself wether to pierce the tongue or navel. _______ was irritating me, unintentionally. I don't know why but everytime i see her _____face or even hear her talk about the oh so many things, it irritates the slightest guts out of me.

But now i'm even arguing with myself, TO GO OR NOT TO GO for dxo this saturday, THAT is the question. (Is it a question?)

Oh wisdom word for today.

"There are 2 types of rules, bad rules & good rules. Bad rules are one made BY the school. Good ones are the ones that doesn't exist, and that's because you made them."

i don't even see the wisdom in it, but heck. Just for laughs. So LAUGH NOW!



Conflicts & cornflakes

Rain rain go away,
Come again another day.

It's been raining a day and a half, and weirdly strange weather seems to be happening around the world, like in New York, cherry blossoms have blossomed. I know, i couldn't believed my ears but CHERRY BLOSSOMS?!? Though thanks to people like us who are causing the EL NINO! (Global Warming) Ahhhh screw the world.

School has been school. I'm reluctant that tomorrow is saturaday, I can sleeep late tonight and enjoy the maximum hours of sleep needed. (:

I've been having a bad impression on the sec 4's this year. Now i didn't say the sec 4's in my school ONLY but in others as well, alright in general let's use students instead. Why exactly do they like to S-T-A-R-E as if one is from the planet mars? Strange humans. And another thing, i laugh at the paradoxic thing of how people 23 and above go around saying
"I have matured. I have matured." When deep inside they know that they are childish, seriously. I was talking to a few on email but i couldn't help but fall out of my seat laughing at how they respond and especially some with the mere usage of vulargarites in their dictionary!
Here's 1 kid that i met who always contridicted himself on emails.
Another kid always have HAHA at the end of every sentence.
Another kid who ask me stupid question.
You may ask why i use the word kid on them, and it's because i believe they are kids inside them still. Like myself for example, i'mma kid inside STILL. I call everyone 'kid'. Everyone should have a KID inside of them or else i ask 'Where did your childhood come from then?' If you say you're NOT a kid, please go slap yourself back to kindergarten.
I still remembered once how this 27 year old bitched about me who is 11 years younger than her age! HILARIOUS! Like hello i'm soooo much younger looking then her at least i'm not gonna get saggy cheeks or wrinkles now! Wth la. And they say they're NOT childish.

And another thing, JC students, i realise they have this habit of gawking. Acjc people, gawk and laugh at the slightest SMALL things. Like they're geegles are from dolls of hell. It irritates me and has this squeakyness in them. ):

I do hope that fashion to EVERY singaporean will be an art or for some, something that brings out the meaning of their life. Singapore has one of the worst fashion i've ever seen from other countries to admit, i've read magazines from VARIOUS places and i compliment on their uniquness and exquisiteness. Singapore is typical plain jane, prim and proper, conservative, boring, repeative and common scene. And again this is also displaying on my 'work'. I neeed something new. And i wish to start a revolution did i say?

I leave you with 'Wisdom words by erika'

Don't go chasing waterfalls, chase Nigeria Falls instead.

TOODLES NOODLES.

9,000 words of wisdom

I was sitting back in class today and was wondering what i should do about myself this year and i have decided to start a 9,000 words of wisdom COMPILED and CREATED by erika. LMAO. So

"Wherever you go, there you are."
(Figure out the meaning yourself and how you want to implement or implicate in your life or whatsoever)

First lesson and Bunka was a piece of donut. Lunch at Shaw with Nisha, unexpectedly bump into Dharham and his brother, Jeric. Met bay and the rest for a while.

FUCK, i just stepped on a glass piece. >: (

Sometimes i wonder what is WRONG with people. It was raining cats and dogs, when i already stepped out of the bus, and i was obviously wet, however a womand standing next to me, waiting to cross the road as me was holding an umbrella, but couldn't be bothered to share it with me. Like wtf, i'm only 17 la. But just be nice enough to share it with me can, i was already drenched to my toes! So as i hasten back home, i found out that woman lived in the same condo as me and she even have kids somemore. Like WTF. It doesn't pay to be nice. ):

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I'M HAVING A HEADACHE.

Alright people of my world, as promised i have my TEMPORARILY NUMBER, but do drop me an email for it. The other number is still in use but only after 8th of FEBUARY.

Bummer i know. ):

School is like my 2nd house, eventually in all these days to come it will be my 2nd house. Now i said house, not home. I have been wanting to burn down alot of things down recently, 1. homework, 2. Demerit point letters, 3. my concious, 4. My friends? (LOL KIDDING!)

To Mi Amor,
Tu amor, I will always be Tu amor, means the world to me Estarás siempre en mi corazón.

ahhhh here's a photo of mai's surprise birthday outing. (: Unglam i know. But i can't help but smile because of the warmth i feel.

TAGS!
ERIKA- LOL. Yea and i would get expelled for such behaviour. Schoool sucks la, not as if anything inside is any better. I'm wasting my life.

Rachel Koh Si Yi- Hey my new number is TEMPORARILY out. (: Will text you sooon for details

why school stinks.

ATTENTION ATTENTION!

PEOPLE OF ALL WALKS FROM MY WORLD!

My phone has beeen confiscated by a motherfucking prefect by the name of wey wey and YES she is the head prefect of my school. SO anything just kill her for me please. So 9750**** will not be in use till 8th Feb. For now, i'll be getting a temporary number by wednesday? Soooooooooooo I'm really sorry to ask you all to save 2 numbers for me in your phone/sim space. Apologies.

My schoool is dumb i tell you. In any case i would love to burn it down, however i can carry on dreaming. When i told mummy what happend, she didn't think i was entirely wrong either. However, the demerit point letter is WHAT i'm gonna burn, (i'm NOT joking by the way). Schools should review their rules, in this case, my school as well. I believe one is capable of doing many things, so am i. Up to an extent, i could have, however i gave lee way and kept my mouth shut. But then, mum said, the next time another stupid/unreasonable punishment is given, it's straight to M.o.E or even extreme, the courtroom.

Being a prefect is tough, i agree, but prefects PLEASE DON'T take your job toooo seriously.

I've beeen irrationally irritated with the fact that people are coming up to me asking if i'm ok? THE ANSWER IS YES. It's irritating y'all.

I think i sold my soul to having to commit my this year to stuyding when i signed on that form at Bunka Language centre. ):

waiting for you

What a week it's been. I have a million and one things to say, from school life to time spent with my babies of mum's cell group. So i guess i'll term the words.

School
One word, hectic. Dance hasn't been productive on friday. Sec 5's are NOT allowed to be in the SYF, i guess it is a both a goood and bad thing. School rules have been a major change. But sad to say I HATE IT. So schooool, wether you like it that i hate it doesn't really bother me. I have nothing to say about the education system. The government is probably encouraging families to have more than 1 kid is probably to make up for the high rates of suicide cases of teens being driven up to their walls because of pressure from education. Seriously speaking, M.o.E should reconsider on RE- moulding a child's education, instead of depriving it. You can't learn EVEYRYTHING from a text-book, if a geek, dweeb, nerd, dork, loser defines his life on a text-book, I don't see a bright future, honestly. Being in sec 5 is not a happy thing, it's not a hippie thing either. ):

Happy times
I have my share of happy times too my readers. Let's see getting to plan for Maimunah's party on Saturday was gooood. WE surprised her by going over to her place and TA-DAH! Her dad was the sweetest person alive on that day, alright maybe there were more sweet people who were alive la, but he's one of them too. (: He took shots, like professional shots of us individual and groups, i swear it loook sooooo profressional, obviously. I'll upload the pictures when Maimunah passes it to me on a disk, preferbly next monday, tuesday or wednesday. Had lunch at the village in Heeren's. Over to Fariza's place to continue with Mai's gift.

Then off to service. Met joy, (i'm sorry dear for being late! I promise never to be late again!)

Was at my folk's cell group leader's house, aka my god-aunt and uncle. Played with Sarah, the Golden retreiver. Talked to their kids, and hell, i didn't know their hormones can start raging at such an early of a primary 3. -_-
But i love time spent with them. I always love spending time with all the kids. (:

Night was beautiful, currently readers, you won't believe where i'm situated at, OUT-SIDE of my place, well more off upstairs, where i call it 'my balcony' the moon, the stars, the night sky, the breeze. And all i need is someone special to spend it with. (:

MEGAN! Thanks for always making me smile and making me laugh without fail, i really really truly deeply appreciate it. (:

The sad thing
Maybe this might not be sad, maybe emo? I don't know. However there was a hidden secret today. When i was alone in city hall for a while and when i stepped into the mrt with joy, a part of me wanted to cry so badly. In service especially, i couldn't understand WHAT Pastor was talking about, ogay maybe it was because i was sleeping for a while! However i never felt so upset but in such a secretive way. When pastor mention River J____N ( Joy knows this word) I was sooooo upset. I guess maybe some things are best UNEXPLAINED and then eventually left alone and let it grow stagnant till it eventually dies away. But i ask, what if it doesn't?

Isaac, you can choose to ignore me, you can choose to have me out of your life, you can choose to forget me, either way, i won't hate you. It's funny how i don't think you can see that there's this wall in between us and you choose not to even know it's there. It's funny how after our first date, you totoally chose to forget me FOREVER. You won't know how upset and how miserable i was. When you want something out of me, you choose to stay and hope that maybe i'll respond, but i respond, but it's weird how our feelings get all mixed up like rojak. Now tthat i wanted to be by your side, you simply left me to talk to the Ghost of Good things. I was lost in all directions. And yes i admit, i missED you. We were there for each other, even when we were MILES apart, i never forgot about you.
Everything is different now. It's funny how everything has turned out so unexpectedly to me.
Maybe it'll be better if i left you alone, maybe it'll be better if we never spoke to each other again, maybe it'll be better if i forget you, maybe it'll be better if you were never were a friend. I don't know.
I miss you sometimes, honestly i do. I think about you when i'm not suppose to. I long to know you all over again.

I wish i can hear you now.

i LOVE school

I ''LOVE'' school. I ''LOVE'' school. I "LOVE" school.

Being a student is suicidal. Especially when you're studying in a Singapore Education Based school.

First day of school was normal. The usual, rules and this and that, crazy and stupid. But many of you know i can't give a damn and i always manage to put an excuse, dramatic one of course. I have holiday homework i have YET to finish. My form teacher is Mdm Noraini, My s.s teacher is STILL Mr LEE SIONG BOON, My Geog teacher is Miss Choo. Great now i'm REALLY gonna flunk my Humanities. Top it off, i'm not even given a class at the M.o.E Language centre. Just screw you people alright!

On the con.,

• miss shen thought i was a nuisance. (INSIDE CLASS JOKE)


• During English i wrote a journal topic that goes like this 'If erika died, what would you say at her funeral'


• I terribly missed alot of people.

Sigh. But i'm telling myself it's just for another year.

i'm off for homework.

no resolutions=no happiness

Ahhhh alright it's 2o07. So no biggy. Don't expect me to make resolutions cause my only resolution is to NOT make a resolution.

Today's outing with 'Megan' (joy-bay-i knows this person) was the ULTIMATE BOMB to start my year off. We explored Haji lane AND Arab Streeet. I swear the stuff there are the sex LA! I must go back. Lunch at Thai Express at the Esplanade, then chilling. (: ZOMG. It put a great big smile to my face. (: THANKS MEGAN! HAHA

and i ask myself before, why isit possibly possible that he always makes me happy.

Well i just came back from town, bought a new school bag from Roxy, and a Planner from Borders, dinner at Newton circus, and top it off mummy surprised me with a DKNY bag.

Ahhhhh shibs. I'm not offered a class for next year for Japanese. Curse M.o.E. ):

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