why wait

It is a lovely saturday i know. And what am i doing at home at such an early hour? ASK MUM.
I'd be out there by now, just galavanting on the stairs and ramps and pipes of somerset. But noooooo, mum wanted me home to show face.

April 3rd love. [: can't wait.

harry's invisibility cloak

Hey readers i've got something to tell you.

Have you guys ever tried to play the part of invisible girl or boy? Even in a relationship?

Well being stubborn may lead your ass into hot soup sometimes.

I've played invisible girl for a short period, i don't wanna prolong it any further. Because the guilt i feel is over my head and under my feet. It's a shadow that's casting over me.

I should be talking to someone who'se been in my shoes. BUT it seemes like no one has been.

I wish i could disappear.

Disappearing acts

I meet the weirdest characters in my life. These weird characters make me laugh, they give me good laughs. And i mean they really know how to make me laugh. Because they bring the laughter to my life.

I also meet the characters which i DON'T KNOW where to catergorise under. They are the ones that enter my life, stay for a day or 2 or a week or so, and all of a sudden they DISAPPEAR.

There are also the characters who are uber nice to me, and they really really really care for me. But i kinda mess things up. Or i just twist and turn the story, INTENTIONALLY. Sigh.'

It seems like i'm loosing more than i gain this year, well that's how i feel. I've lost a totoal up to 10 people. THIS YEAR. Though we still do talk, we know there's this sense of human frailty we can't avoid.

I admit i don't like AWKWARDNESS, cause i don't know what to do next. That's there and then you get me right where you want me. YOU DISAPPEAR.

it's so you, to run away from your feelings and NEVER come back.

school's little things

Alright i bet you readers out there are ready to hold a gun on my head and shoot me for not doing my holy duties of updating. But complain no more, i'm HERE. (:

At the moment. it's the 22nd of March, 10:50 pm, i'm at the school library, i'm feeling normal.

My days have been pretty going on good. Not bad not good but it's good. ( like HUH?!?) Well, for once i'm back into the world of nagging, coursework, homework, textbooks, and test. The fresh smell of papers, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh GLOBAL WARMING. I hate school, casue they waste paper. I hate school cause we have the dumbest rules. I hate school cause of EERIE-tating prefects. I hate school cause M.o.E is changing their education policy. (So FINE, so be it. If death rates are increasing, we can just blame it on the education system for stressing our guts out that cause us to have intentional scuicide. SCREW Y-O-U!)

Then again, i love school cause of, duh, friends. I've got the most craziest, prettiest, loveable bunch of friends ever. (: I love school, cause i like to break the rules. HAWHAW! I love school, because of......um.........er.......i just love school for the sake of loving.

Anyway, it's funny how Singaporeans react to things and how they live their life. I plan to make a documentary on you people though. It's kinda interesting yet applaudeble too. HEH. I won't pen it down as goal, cause i can never seem to accomplish my goals. So my best goal ever, is to carry on finding a goal. (:

Hmmmmm on another hand, let's take my right hand. Scandalous behaviour has been going on. -bites tongue-i've been a very very very very very bad girl. HURHURHUR!

plant sunflowers in my head

Summer break is over. Yea.

I'll never forget the series that collate up to summer love.

I'll go plant sunflowers in my head now.

summer love. THANKS FOR THE SUMMER

Oh summer love, summer love. STAY and NEVER EVER CHANGE PLEASE.

Let me see. My body is burnt, like ONLY the body. It's like this i tell you

Just concentrate on his body. THAT'S HOW MY BODY LOOKS! ):

Skate park=love. Irritating Ramly=SMILES. Cassie,Izman,Shafiz=DOUBLE SMILE. Fried Mars Bars=Bliss. [:

instigator with a sad smile

Today marks the last day i'll ever spend with Wan. And off will his ass be at boot camp. Skate park. Far east. 7-11. I'll never forget the time spent. I cried infront of him. More like wailing. But i couldn't help. I cried even more when he left me at the subway. HOWEVER ALL THE FAGS AND FAGGOTS IN THE MRT COULDN'T BE EVEN NICE ENOUGH TO EVEN GIVE ME A TISSUE. And to say that Singaporeans have a big heart, YEA RIGHT. BULLSHIT!

Sigh. I know i have tons and hoards of friends to surround me with. But out of that many of them, how many of them can i really call them 'FRIEND'? Maybe 10, maybe less. Skate park won't ever be the same with my boy around anymore. Sure i get to see Batam and gang and the rest, but it just won't evern be the same.

Wan,

I don't wanna close my eyes

I don't wanna fall asleep

'Cause I'd miss you, babe

And I don't wanna miss a thing

'Cause even when I dream of you

The sweetest dream will never do

I'd still miss you, babe

And I don't wanna miss a thing..

Aku cinta pada mu. (:

ohhh and i got my second navel piercing.

but the instigator game is still on!!!!!!!!!!

Skateboarding is not a crime.

VANS SKATE JAM! was the real highlight of my month, and maybe my year. Gawd how i gave up so many things just to be there but it was worth my time. Caught up with people i haven't met for months and some even years.

That joy that i felt yesterday, was too exhilarating to described. I met the pros from indonesia and thailand. The atmosphere was just great, despite it was hot. Still goood. I just don't know how to comprehend it all in sentence or a paragraph but you must be there to see and to feel. TO be part of the dream that we skaters dream of. And now for the first time in a longest time, i want to go back to skate-boarding again. SIGH. It's heaven.

























there are days where i'll end up like this dude though. HEH



















but some day, i can't wait to feel the thrill and the chill in the air.


























hung out with nick and his people. Fo real. I think i'm finally coming back to the world where i belong. I'm finally meeting the people whom i called on friends. The people who picked me up when i fall of the board.
I can't wait for all the surprises.


Ahhhh during service, something happend. Actually after service. Joy and Van knows. Whatever it is, they know i rock, i know i do too. HEH.

i'll carry you when your arthiritis is bad

My voice is very very very very very sexy. and sexy and S-E-X-Y! It's the S-E-X man! LOL

Right. Well march holidays are on the roll, and i'm not the least excited. I hate N.S for stealing friends/brothers/boyfriends away. And i wish they could stop changing all the sickening rules.

Life has been well life. Friendshp goes up right left and center. Parents go north south east west. Situations go here and there and everywhere.

NOTHING INTERESTING!

and i'll miss you.

help me psy!

Maybe i need help from a psychiatrist.

what holiday?

OH JELLYBEANS AND GUMMYBEARS! What for do i keep a blog when i don't bother to update it most of the times.

Let's just say i have been really busy. My body clock is beginning to understand that I AM deprived of sleep during school days. But I wonder how the hell did Bill Clinton got use to having 30 years deprived of sleep? Whatever.

Ahh crap. THIS is like my schedual for march holidays

Saturday- Samar at Arab streeet. Church. (BOOK ME!)
Sunday- Crazy professor's tution
Monday- (BOOK ME! I'M FREE!)
Tuesday- 10-1 chem/bio classesw in school. Rompe II at St James. The Clinic?
Wednesday-(BOOK ME! I'M FREE!)
Thursday- FnN camp=overnight in school=staring at the computer for A day=crappy meals=neverending zoink!
Friday-FnN camp finishes. Classes till like 1.
Saturday- Church? PLAY ON @ DXO.

mmmmm just went online shopping and retail shopping. Bought a sweet Voodoo doll trucker cap from the weekend designer blog's. (Thanks joy for introducing!) And skinny jeans from Topshop. Zara and Mango were crap. Mango's new collection is even more crap. But i don't feel a sense of happYness though. -shrugs-

Alright, getting to the serious bit.
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN OR EVEN BOTHER, EAD HERE!

It's true that you don't know what you've got till it's gone, but it's also true that you don't know that it'll be gone till you know it's missing. I feel insensitive to those people who care for me so much, yet alone too much. I wish all you readers out there would learn to cherish the people that care for you the most. I lost a good guy friend, E. It won't be the same will it? Not ever? Not never? And then shortly just yesterday, my other good guy friend, Wan went for N.S.

I've never felt so alone before. The midnight calls and messages. The outings after school or on Saturdays. The visits to ex-Parallel and Gallery where we crap. The talks. The bitching. The love. The bond. The hugs. The kisses. The 'US'. Right there before my eye, i just watch it tumble and slowly die.

Why can't i stop hurting these type of people? Why can't i understand? Why can't anyone be ere anymore?

unsaid

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

school is gobbling me up like how cookie monster eats his cookies. heh.

Did i tell you? That i have to come back to school for EXTRA lessons, there's FnN overnight camp, whereby i stick my ass to the chair and stare at the computer for A day.

I have many things to say, but it seems i never have the time to upload it all up. I got myself into a pickle though. ):

To S,
There's never a right time to say goodbye
But I gotta make the first move
'Cause if I don't you gonna start hating me
Cause I really don't feel the way I once felt about you
BOY it's not you, it's me I gotta gotta figure out what I need
There's never a right time to say goodbye
But we know that we gotta go
Our separate ways
And I know it's hard but I gotta do it,
And it's killing me
Cause there's never a right time
Right time to say goodbye.

To E,
my friend till the end. This is for youl;
I miss you...
I miss your smile
And I still shead a tear
Every once in a while

And even though we're different now
You'll still hear somehow
My heart won't let you go and i need you to know

i miss you
Shalalalala
i miss you