CAN YOU PLEASE MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MIND?

‎"You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks or even months over analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could've happened...or you can leave the pieces on the floor and MOVE THE FUCK ON."

-Tupac

still happening

Being smart and being academically inclined are 2 very different things.

I've been trying to keep up with you for so long now and i know that i'll be at least 10 steps behind you no matter what I do or how hard I try. You always say that "You're different. You're different and unlike the rest" Yea and you are right to say that, because I am different. I took a step back and analyze you and your friends, and face it, I don't fit in at all.

Every time I try, you belittle me over the very same fact and I don't understand why we can never see eye to eye about it. You still make me cry all the time. I get it that I'm not that academically inclined as you but do you know what goes through my mind all the time when I say all these things to you? That you probably think whatever I say will just backfire and that my words are too over-rated and too simple-minded for you because I can't seem to say any smart stuff that would be of real helpfulness at all. Whatever ok.

I don't like it when you say "it's for your own good" or "because I care", but how do you know what is good enough for me? and how well do i know that your intentions to "care" are not out of competency? I hate all this ranking shit.

IF i'm not smart for you, then fine whatever.

fuck this shit

-edited-

'nuff said. Indeed I do NOT need this shit from you. so FUCK THIS OK? Your fucking words,

i will no longer buy for they are as worthless as you deem your love to be priceless.

King? Checkmate.

I cannot wait for Thursday and then Friday and then the weekend to come. Most of all, I cannot wait for Thursday because that's when I'll get some of the answers my heart has been yearning for. ( Also because Arts Facilities Management UT will be over and I'll also know if my Portfolio has been accepted hence I would jump for joy shouting "Good Riddance. With everything that has been going the opposite direction right now, why can't I be satisfied for a while?)

what gives?

Every possible thing that could go wrong today went wrong, and it is already bad enough that I want to start doing my work now. I'll find the strength to later but just not now.

I don't know if I was right or if I was wrong, if you were right or if you were wrong whatever, I gave up being mad, because staying mad at someone will melt like snow, fast, but arriving to the state of feeling hurt is the most destructive feeling ever. In the end ultimately what the most upset feeling is knowing that you would never 'fight' for this to work out. Hence that is why i feel like if i was that fucking stupid to believe in everything? You see it didn't matter to me anymore, the whole pointless drama of who did what and who was in the wrong or what happened. I merely wanted to know if you still 'care' and if you have ever given any thought about it at all. Being able to take it along with my stride was also being wise enough to be able to look past all this. That you were still that person who came to my life and knows how to make me smile.

Everyone around me was right to say that you were just a damn young punk who doesn't know anything and i should have known better and for myself. How foolish am I to have only believed in you and onto something that we shared. I was there just like how I was for any other good friend whom I really treasured, but I would have NEVER thought that you would turn around and hurt me like this. You won't reply to my texts and calls, you won't even talk to me on msn or on facebook, infact, you completely ran away and ignored me. And fuck this ok.

I think you're a faggot for running away from problems instead of fighting them. You can't even tell me how sorry you are without even having to take a look at me I'll bet, although I can only applaud and laugh at your inane acts. I admit I have some barbaric thoughts in my head to chasten away your ego but I weigh out the thoughts and thought "ahhh fuck that, you're STILL just a kid".

No matter how infuriated I may be, I still want to settle this, because I was taught to be a lady and handle this oh so fucking graciously. In your case, talk first, slap later.