once again

once again,i find my self crawling slowly back to..............nowhere.
once again,i thought i'd found hope,instead i found pain. This is ******* disappointing and hopeless, on and off,on and off,on and off, love isn't a device of an on and off button you know that? i love you,i honestly do. i don't give a damn about idol,i don't know why must you take it with you to this pact that we share, you're different and i don't know why,it's too hard to swallow cause the disaster you made is too pain. Was it all another lie? why did you had to lead me in? This is NOT my disaster,it's YOURS. Just think of this and me as just a few of many things to lie around to clutter up your shelves, And I wish you weren't worth the wait because there's some thing's I'd like to say to you...
I don't think that you know what you've been missing cause I don't think that you know what you've been missing. I dare you to forget those marks you left across my neck from those nights when we were both found at our best I could make this obvious, and in one breath you could just shrug me off your shoulders...

i'm giving you this very last chance,saviour it NOW before it's really too late,i've given you all that i've got,and i still am cause i know you're worth it. So take my hand please, cause i'll show you things you've never seen, hear things you've never heard, feel things you've never felt. I'll take you up to heaven even if i have too. You can do idol,I won't be there in it,i'll just be standing alongside with you. Don't underestimate me, and don't judge me with your other past ex,cause i'm NOT like them at all. I know I'm different. Waiting for you for the past 3 months,i didn't give up,i don't want to.

Your bitter goodbye is ringing through this quiet night,This idle hour just wont pass I've never missed you this much, never thought I would,Didn't think you'd feel so far away.
Your summer perfume is still blowing through this hallway, Autumn's amber red shadows dance I miss our midnight rides on highway 18, 18 is gone
So go past the lights and all the excuses You could have left "sincerely yours" Don't you think it's obvious that I want to say more? Cause anything too daring to say to you, Will be said in this letter, then burned away So you never realize, I'm here.
I'm thinking of your vague reply So I can understand Why we put this at rest Why we forget to Say that we were leaving Say that we were sorry The past remains unspoken As this vacant night is dying But I still miss your summer perfume This cold air brings such a distance to us Such a painful distance I'm still waiting for you to say you hate me now So I don't have to hold on to this burning heart This burning heart is getting old While sitting on this cold kitchen floor, Head down to hide the tears, I've finally realized that you were never meant for me