You don't know me very well enough.

If i can choose a date to start living my own life, i'd choose it now and at this very hour. Without any impromptu plans or whatsoever. It's today.
And if i wanna choose a date to walk out and leave, it's going to be today.
I've changed all passwords and status, so you can see that i'm finally going to make up my mind to a chapter that i might want to stop writing.
And if you do apologise, i hope you're sorry that i'm about to move on.

leap of faith

So wait for awhile and see what love can do to you. Don't hold back but rather absorb and seize every moment for it my friend. Love is an ultimate leap of faith. You got your faith, don't you?

Erika

dissed

and mommy told me once that i shouldn't bother, because i'll find someone who will love me like no other.

do you know that your love is the sweetest?

I have this class-mate by the name of Marvin, and he was the first person whom i sticked my tongue on the first day at sem 2. And i was also the first to call him MUFFIN instead of Marvin. However one thing of Muffin's possesion that always fascinated me was the dog-tag around his neck.

Yea that's a partial picture of Muffin's body btw. But what struck me about the dog tag of his was, he had a pair instead of 1. So out of curosity i asked "why was the other one empty?" and he gave me a reply with a hearty smile telling me it would be kept for that someone truly special to him and someone he might just wanna marry. And yea being the typical girl who would gush over the cute-est and most sweetest thing heard and seen, i 'AWWWW'ED pretty hysertically. Pretty much to show that the future girl would always be kept close to his heart. It's just the most darnest, most damest, sweetest thing.

Nah i'm not advertising for Muffin on my blog. But thought i'd share it with you readers out there. (:

Because technology is so crue to us, we can now leave comments without a name or trace, and absentmindedly crush little people down.

wake me when it'll be over, maybe you can shout

You're always there to say that "You do as you please.....only ends up in a heated argument"

but half the time you tell me "up to you"
And just tonight, you told me you couldn't care anymore.

Sure you are the first to really take care of me when i'm sick, but did you know you're the first to have frequently raised his voice at me and yell at me?

the flea bug that got me sick at the flea market

Of all the random things i decided to do; I told Erika PAULA that i'll meet her on saturday. And BOOO-YEA, glad i did! Apart from the catching up we did and the normal side-track of 'dang she's hot' we walked over to Singapore Art Musem, thinking we were really going to look at some art stuff, turned out to be a flea market! (ZOINKS) And i didn't give 2 shits to worry if i had enough money to eat! I bought, 1 long white vintage looking top, 1 white vintage looking top, 1 green/blue croppish top, and 1 Rick-Owen's brown looking jacket. And all of it for a good $40 bucks. Erika Paula got 2 really god-damn looking dresses as well. (: Although stef & i emo-ed at clark quay, and we almost threw up at every 20 steps. Haha.

Holla back girl

Ok before i pen down the rest of my thoughts, i thought i'd like to take this special post just for today, for a big HOLLA to Haney who's been saying some not very nice stuff about me. (she's on my tagboard)

Dear Haney, please don't think i don't know who you are, because I do. You're Shafiq's ex. The very same girl who texted me eons and eons ago to leave your boyfriend alone. But I would like to thank you for actually leaving your true name behind. Because it goes to show that you do like to settle scores in a civilized manner.And correct me if you must, but you must be my age this year, 18 and if i'm not wrong studying at mdis? And another thing, if your anger is to take out on me because i was friends with your boyfriend. Could you please be a little more sensible enough? If there's something shafiq never told you, i was never his fling or girl, i was just his friend, and i have evidence to prove that very fact.

Secondly, i do not have the slightest idea on what gives you the right to judge someone as ugly?Because before you do that, always do a little judgement & soul searching on yourself. 1) what do you determine as ugly? Because talks of how 'beauty is seen in everything' would backfire itself? 2) I don't believe that i have any affect in your life one way or another. But if i've dysfunctioned it someway or another, drop me another tag.

Thirdly, do not bring me into any of your past shit with shafiq, if so i might as well you give the list of names of the girls who he's been going out with and why not bother them and let them be part of your baseless critism as well. And for tits sake, let it go would yer? (he didn't tell me this) But have a little more dignity and just let it go. If you hate me, fine, by all means, i'm good and i have friends who are worth of my time. I do admit that i do have an idiosyncrastic side of me but i'm not using a rifle like those soldiers used in the middle east war to point at the minds to point at your head to tell you to accept my idiosyncrasy because that would be too domineering of me now won't it? So for my tits sake, how can i affect you again?

Although you merely tagged about 3-4 times, those baseless criticsm makes my day and it allowed me something to blog about. I'm expecting that you're gonna tag again, but feel free too. Whether you're gonna be mean or nice, what do i care? My confidence and my zest for life does not depend on anyone's opinion or judgement of me. I have a rough gauge on who you are, but i'm not judging you like how you judged me, your assesment of the person that is me should have any creditability at all for me to give a shit about what you think.

Again i'll say, have a chill pill & take a century to think of what you can say to me more. Have a good day.

Under the cherryblossom i'll be your shelter still

Nisha,

It was not too long ago
You sought to understand
You helped me mend
Remember when
So promise me you'll
Call my name
Let me be an answer
'cause it hurts me to see you this way
I wanna ease your pain
Help me understand
Let my be your shelter my friend

with all my love,
erika

Frankalin

Do you remember how we use to make each other feel?
Do you remember that one time when I came down to the park and wore my fisherman berms and you said i look like a 'Kampong-Minah'?
Do you remember how you use to talk to me like as though no one was ever around?
Do you remember how i use to creep under the bed with the phone/laptop in my hand and i'd talked really hush so that i wouldn't make a sound?
Do you remember that?

And only now, how did you ever found the courage to come talk to me, when i have been waiting under the vanishing sky everyday to come talk to you? And would it hurt to say i miss you my friend?

ice cream love

Stef & I are one crazy couple. We fight almost what it may seem every week. And through a very good friend of mine, she said that we fight over the most stupidest thing because we're afraid to loose one another. However we're so much better now, and that ordeal made us even more stronger. (: Amazing really. His love that is. And every fun thing we've been doing is making us go whooo-peee-dooo. Having mud pie at Island Creamery at Serene Centre was one of the accomplishments for this weekend. Although they gave us a really shitty pie, who cared anyway, because the best ingredient was the fact that i shared it with love. (:

Oh and hear ye, hear ye, i've bought the cloth already! I can't wait to start the expedition of messing with cloth and the sewing machine!

If talk was like wine, i bet it'd be cheap, because of how talk can be cheap sometimes. This takes alot of effort to form back something that we had. But if i were not to survive this long run with you, because all i see is an endless route, accosted and i just say to you "it's futile and you can never" i hope you'll be the one saying "you lied" and you just run. Because if you're sure that we're meant to be, be here with me, and not because you feel that we have to be.

things will never be the same again

Ok second break out now, im not going for lunch because not only have i lost my appetite, but im pretty pissed at the very moment.

*ever since that mishap that happened on sunday i already knew that things would have never been the same ever again. However i guess i have to live like that for now and probably forever. So tonight i'll kneel down beside my bed to pray and ask dear God that this won't be for long. Because i cant make up my fucking mind. And God had to make months, and my period falls this week.

FUCK.

fairy dress mother

My grandfather is drinking beer. he hardly touches beer! 0.0
-stares at him at one corner-

yes yes i'm damn sure i'm going to try FIRST to make a dress, so wish me good luck, if all goes well. Then hehehehehehehe tell me, i'll be your fairy dress mother. (: I think school is swell, i'm doing just fine, the normal me is still around in class. And everyone is finally so comfortable with everyone. No formalities needed, we've even started calling each other weird nick-names. So to my old W15D, a word of advice, be resistant to change and DON'T be a clam and shun away. Remember but you'll be with this class longer then you were with the previous sem, you'll be with them till like jan 2009. Just open up and open your mouth and talk. I know talk is easy. But literally, in this context it is. So try hard alright? Good luck (:

weird obsessions for maxis

I had my very first maxi from azhar, at bugis, hurs. I fell in love with it. I paid half and so did he. (: (thanks abang!) And from that day onwards, thus begained my obsession for long tube dresses. (I have no idea why it's still called MAXI, when i thought maxi meant short? but oh wth) So now in my closet, i have 4 long tube dresses, still counting. But i insist on penning down this, although i still have an obsession for tube dresses, i think lately the prints have been repeated and it's getting a lil draggy. And is it just me but are the prices increasing for some of them as well? like from $27 to $33 to like $37. With that, i might still have the urge i had 1 month back to have my own hand in making MY VERY OWN long tube dresses, with my choice of fabrics, design and lay out. What say you people?

because then i'll be lying

We all get our rough and toughie and eeky yuckky squishy days that we hate as a couple. But when 2 hearts beat not for themselves but for each other, we can overcome it, together. (: Stef and I almost lost our love just a few days back but curse my faint heart and restless soul that sent me crying to him again and again and falling for him all over again! We've pierced one another because our words are like swaggering daggers that flies across the room. But the course of true love never quite ran smoothly eh? Classic example of Shakespear's quotes: us.

god, i love that boy of mine. (:

yea sure, you care.

I always sing in the rain

I really do think that school is ok so far. Accept i have gone back to the routine of coming home from school and lamenting at the fact that 'i-feel-fustrated-now-and-perhaps-the-rest-of-my-years-here-to-coming-home-and-not-doing-ANYTHING' To put it simply: i come home everyday feeling fustrated that i'm not stressed. But on another note, i'm gonna grow to love the class. Although i do miss being in w15d. Nonetheless, we gotta be resistant to change.

Stef & I are going on tremendously swell. Loving each other as the day goes by like there's no tomorrow. And we have had alot of fun. Just recently i took him to fisherman's wharf to have a good catch of the halibut version of fish & chips. Go there aight people? It's just across The central at clarke quay! I also bump into Leonard's wife whose name i always can't seem to remember, and she is BIG. I don't know how many months big. But BIG. It's gonna be a boy and they're gonna name it Keean. I thought it was a cool name. Stef thinks otherwise.

Oh and i swear to God but i fell in love with the eyes of Stef when i took this picture. Who wouldn't? Those goddamn cute puppy eyes. Still i can't seem to find out what or why or how i fell for a guy like him? Maybe I was right. And so was God, that He truly must have loved me so much to have given him to me. (: