here i go,scream my lungs out.

met jeric for lunch,more of tea break though. Only managed to get a hot fudge sundae. What a wonderful guy to talk to,we talked about anything under the sun. Bitched about R.I boys infront of the R.I people themselves at serene mac'd. He's so concerned about his body but he doesn't know how beautiful he can get. If only those people who think that they're 'ugly', if only they could see themselves through my eyes.(:
I know many of you simply want to murder me for changing blogskin after blogskin,ha,sorry about that i hope this is permanent though.AHA. Wanted to do this to get my mind of certain stuff,failed,but at least i tried.

To Mattheus:
where are you? where'd you really go this time round? Can't you hear my heart aching?I'm longing so much for you. I care soo much for you,yet i hear not a single word. Do you remember who i am to you? Do you remember that you're in this relationship? Gawd. There has been so many things upsetting me,and i just need to hear your voice and feel your arms around me letting me know you'll catch me when i stumble. Yet i find myself falling hard on this surface ground with a trickle of blood down my legs and a sting of my tears on my hands. I'm giving you my everything,can you at least give me something? During class i wrote this,it may be stupid and lame but it hits the nail for today,

i want you to know that it's a little fucked up here
,stuck here waiting and still debating,
but i'm tired of hearing you say the same damn excuses,
for why you're not around and being so useless.
Look, i don't want this to be true cause i know we're gonna go long,but fuck those that say,
''You don't know what you've got,untill it's gone."
i had it with you and your excuses,
when you're ready to come back here,
you'll find me still jere with a tear,
but it's your turn to sing,
"where'd you go? I miss you so?
seems like it's been forever that you've been gone.
where'd you go? I miss you so?
seems like it's been forever that you've been gone.
please come back home.
please come back home."

I love you more than you think,just say you love me now and forever so that every single sadness i felt is broken. Just come and hear me scream my lungs out,seeing me trying to get to you,cause you're my only one. :'(