i lied again

I lied to myself over and over again.
i just love to hurt myself don't I?

the drops of rain they fall over me
this awkward silence makes me crazy
the glow inside burns light upon him
i'll try my best to kiss you if you let me
(this cant be the phucking end)

Tidal waves they rip my heart and through me
Tears from my eyes so worn cold and sad
Just pick me up NOW. i need you so bad

Down,down,down,down,
down,down,down,down
it gets me so
down,down,down,down
down,down,down,down
it gets me so

So like today was different,couldnt concentrate at all.
i was staring out at the blue sky with my DAUGHTER.
during all the lessons,as i begained to feel numb.
i wanted to rip my heart out and screamed, I PROMISE IM NEVER OK.
I just wanna be happy.
is that so much to ask, YOU ALWAYS MAKE ME WORRY SICK ABOUT YOU.
I've been damaged enough.
i dont want anymore damages.
PLEASE,if you think or even know that you're gonna hurt me,
DO IT NOW BEFORE IT WILL.
I SO LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
i've given up on everything i had,i gave you my hope.
PLEASE DONT BREAK IT.