My check-up was today, thank God it's nothing bad or serious.
Met mummy and naomi to have lunch and catch up with her ex-university mates. Maaaa chased me and naomi away to shop. Brought her to far-east, bought nothing much. Just one long dangling gold necklace and get the scars of my mp3 fixed.
next stop will be my naval peircing,yeaaaaa baby, it's hot. [: (Baby= Here it's not regarding about shaun)
Went home,more people came over, played with the kids, awww, such lovely clowns, they bring the ends of my mouth to a smile.
I went online and Shaun had to talk to me. Just when everything was going out find and i was happily shopping to forget my woes. Sigh
Well im emo now, we had a chat, and i cried at every sentence and shivered because the fucking aircon was fucking cold and i couldn't fucking take it though i've got hair on my body. >:(
What can i exactly say? What do you want me to say? I love you ohh soo fucking much, (I know it's past tense but please don't argue) I don't mind and actually i don't care about being you friend, cause i'll be that girl whom is one of your friends who wish we had a chance again, and i know for my guts tell me so, that you'll NOT remember me,after all it's simple.
I sense you not only lost the feelings for me, but you were also scared and fearful. For some obsecure reason, i didn't understand why you had to talk about wayyyyyyyyyyyyyy into the future, we're not there yet, we only live for now so appreciate it ,everything you have now, your future has YET to be decidied upon, it's already planned by the Almighty God, and i can see His face looking down upon you chucking lovingly 'Why is my son worrying for? Why is he so scared?' You know the answer.
Maybe you don't know me too well either, you'd think i'd be like that fucking jerkish bastard who broke your sister's heart. AH EM
Firstly, i got no balls, i'm a dudette.
Secondly, i'm not that kind of person, you'll be amaze by me. And yes i can say and happily say that i am different and unique from every other girl, (NO offence to any girls, you're all different and BEE-YOO-TEA-FULL and i love you the way you are. ((:)
Thirdly, remember i'm erika.
Fourthly, i dig the pain your sis feels.
You're a damn beautiful piece of work that got me crazy in life. But now, you want to take it away, i don't blame you. I'm sorry that i saw past everything i guess, i'm sorry you loved me. I refuse to buy in, i refuse to waste whatever i've yearned for a life time and chuck it in a bin. I'm want to wait for you inside, i really do. But you got me with this massive piece of frustration that leaves me struggling on the line. I don't care what people say, (Duh, i never do.) I'm hearing you out. I'm hearing the voice. So just take my hand whenever you're ready for real this time round and i'll show you a whole new aptitude of things. Don't underestimate me, i may be that girl who goes around screaming 'SCREW THE WORLD' but deep down is actually a heart that has a soft spot for people like you and i care for alot of things. (DID I JUST CONTRADICTED MYSELF? OHH MY GAAWWH.)
I'm waiting here,whatever it is. Just have a little faith in me.
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