what's left of me

mmmm let's see here,
1. I made more than 5 phone calls to friends to hear some comforting voice. Usually it's 1, but 5 means that im officially a wreck
2. I gave out 'i love you, remember that. (:' to at least 3/4 of the population of my friends in my friendster, because i want to hear they love me too?
3. I didn't eat again. I haven't eaten 3 dinners, 3 lunches and 3 breakfast. I only drank water. I'm not fasting. I'm not anorexic, cause i think it's dumb. The misery i feel is the only hunger that satisfies me.
4. I met jonathan yip, hoping i could confide in him. Stupid bitch was useless, tempted me to go for UNVEIL but to no avail. (hey it ryhmes.)
5. Talked to chloe and claudia. Sweet people whom i am so blessed to have in my life. They cheered me up. ((:
6. Kenneth came all the way from home just to get candy from me. -_- DUMBASS.

i'm not doing that well as you can see, but there is very little progress.
I remember when i use to ask my self this
'where have you been? I've been waiting so long to hear from you.'
But all the things that we said we would do, remains to be plans of the past.
I guess you realised that we've been too quiet for too long.
The hope where we once had? I guess it's too late to be saved by your charm, we'll never get this right.
Your words are cold, and the season is too to me that is, and all the comfort in your voice is gone as well.
I want to tell you don't bother keeping in touch, i'm better of all alone. You've lost everything you loved.
It's not gonna be worth it anymore, i'm finally done for once and for all in your mind. But will you regret once i'm finally gone? I wonder what an idiot i was to ever have that thought that we would be good.
Well alright, im sorry i even tried. I was an utter fool to have hope in you.

this is for you btw http://www.lyricscafe.com/r/rimes_leann/misc_02.html

*TO ALL:
Upcoming post would be mainly about my sorrows and well im sorry if it's selfish. Give me time to heal and most importantly to love. I don't know how long this is gonna take. Im trying to give my shots in letting go, but clearly day 1 has failed. Each post will have a short poem/song/message in the end pointing directly at him and NOT to any of you. Cheers all.