I had the worst winter season of my entire history. And yesterday night was the night. I guess it should be illegal to break someone's heart, unintentionally or intentionally. There are things you'd love to hear but you would never get to hear it from the person whom you'd like to hear it from but don't be deaf or plain stupid to the one who says it with his/her heart. I'm sorry A*****Y. I knew i should have told you from the start. Maybe it's just me, maybe i'm like all the others just an insensitive mother fucker bitch and i thought i wasn't.

I knew it was care and concern and wanting to be everything he neeeds EXCEPT his lover.I don't think i'm fit or can be what he wants to be. I'll still light up his days and be there whenever he needs me, but that's that! I'll be happy when he is but yet again, that's that. Confusion is the master of torture, it's S-U-C-K-Y! I'm hugging on to that turtle bear he got me for Christmas, but i held it with such tenderness, like it's some sorta glass that it'll break, though i know very well i'm holding on to a guy's heart that i slowly crushed UNINTENTIONALLY.

I'm really am sorry that i disappointed him and that i send out the wrong signals. He know i appreciate him, but i don't feel the special feelings for him and i don't feel connected for God knows the reason why. But i've explained to myself REPEATEDLY, he knows i care! He knows from the deepest pits of my heart, i care! But it's my fault, i shouldn't have lead him on, and on to this pithole of mine. Things ended up bad, hiding off every emotion infront of me and pretending that everything is gonna be alright when it won't be? I hate the punch line ' Can we just be friends?'

EDITS COMING LATER