3 days ago i was that happy girl on the streets with baby on one hand around me, yet 3 days later i was that uber sad poor lil girl breaking down on the frounds of the basketball court/ track field. No, it's notthing to do with Shaun, we're going on strong and durn right pretty fine just the way we want it to be. I don't want sympathy or any of you to come up cheering me up, or saying anything encouraging or nice, seriously it hurts my ears. I've not turned cynic.
I dont see why should i get it for the time being, when all i can do is cupp my ears and cry and see our dear Ryan slowly slipping away from us, a day closer is a day less with us. I feel utterly guilty for not having to spend time with him. Yet he always made me laugh wherever i was. He was a great and gentle guy deep inside. I don't want to spend this night and find myself screaming out to God to let him stay, cause i'd love for him to stay. He's only 17. He truly is someone you could scream at and just hit him if you're having a bad day, ''i can be the one with the soft shoulders you can cry oni can be the one that'll just be there for you anytime.'' I know ryan is gonna make it through, i belive it. He is and he will and NO-ONE is to tell me he wont, cause i'll lay my hands on you and softly slit your throat.
FOR RYAN:
Make this ride as fast as I can
Tonight this road home feels a little longer
I hope you know that you were my friend
Tonight I said goodbye, but I should have said more
Thanks for the best time of my life.
Come home, now that you're gone I've finally realized
That you were the best
Come home, I won't forget the times that we had
I'm wishing that you weren't a part of my past
Emptiness swallows this town
From now on I will be alone for good
Will you remember my name?
I'm hoping that I will hear from you soon
Thank you for everything
Come home, now that you're gone I've finally realized
That you were the best
Come home, I won't forget the times that we had
So please don't be a part of my past
That wasn't the only thing that upsetted me to my pits today but as well as certain people in class. I'm sooooo disappointed to have heard what i just found. It's fucking childish i swear just to go ahead and make assumptions and be a hypocrite, if there was a some sorta competition for that, honestly you guys would get the first prize. Thanks for showing me that best friends CANNOT be trusted. Hope you chock now and die later.
Sigh. Bring me to greater heights,cause all i wanna do now is bury my face in the ground. The pang of guilt just shot right through like never before. I'm afraid to know the truth in the end. I wish somebody could read how i feel like the back of their hand or perhaps wake my senses.
baby i miss you so. Just wish you were here to cradle me and sing me a lullaby that tells me that everything is gonna be ogay. :'(
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