run around the whole world

I placed my msn nick
'if stupid poems could fix this home, i won't bother reading it anyway'
i don't know what the heck happend to my mother, she seems to be having irrational mood swings that come hitting me on the head. She's been screaming at me for God knows the reason why, it's like im her enemy now and she justs wants me out of the house. I knelt down many times to pray and told God that i will never grow up to be like my mother. She even made me drove away Shaun for God also knows the reason why? I didn't do anything wrong for fuck sake. I felt not only disappointed but upset and embarassed and guilt ridden with the fact that i had to see him go and i felt like a totoal bitch for that and embarass for my mum made me do it. I mean even when my dad was there, he didn't mind shaun coming he was like omega cool with it. So what the fuck is her problem then? So what if she kicked me out of the house one day? I compelled a list

1. I don't think i want to stay with my aunt, it'll be like living in a nun-stry.
2. Hand myself over to foster home care? It happend once in america when my whole family decided to move back to Singapore, i stayed behind for another year and a half with my best friend's family.
3. Rent a house somewhere and start making my own living and studying at the same time.
4. I don't fancy the idea of commiting scuicide cause i'll go to hell straight.
5. Get away from Singapore and never come back. Change my name, address and identity.
6.Tolerate this family and pray that God will do something about it.

I think i choose the last one, i'm not speaking to my mum now. I don't wish to speak to her,whatever for when most of the time she isn't at home anyway, like today because of the one-day holiday for youth she always says ' Oh i made today and off-day to spend time with my kids.' HUH? what kids? what spend time? It leads to nothing it's just another day and excuse to find a way to nail me down at her feet and dig history to slap me with. Fuck i can't stand this. Maybe i'll never understand, i don't wish too. So please y'all, don't come talking to me about what to do or what not to do? I'd walk away from you.

Prelims are exactly 5 weeks and then follow up with the N levels. Lovely doesn't it sound?