ummmm right.

I might as well abandon this blog and go fly away. Anyway, recently i did some spring cleaning in my room. Dare say i'm proud of myself.

the second shelf

the last shelf

LOL i don't think any of you want to see what's inside the closet. It's UBER MESSY.

a daughter's letter.

Momma is pissing me to my poooops. I swear i hate to be yelled at early in the morning. Because
1) I'll get grumpy in the day
2) I won't be able to think straight because i'm too absorbed in getting angry at mom.

Mom. I swear being your daughter isn't as nice as you being my mum. I hate you at times and sometimes i love you. I hate you and your friends. I can't believe that you actually trust them and not me. Me your very own flesh and blood. Me who gave you that baby joy in life. Dad's sick and tired of your temper, so am i. Naomi? Now i know where she gets that mean, hot-tempered streak of hers now. It's just so you to bring me and dad down infront of everyone. You can scream all you want at me, because it goes all out of my ears. And whatever you always say falls on deaf ears too.

Don't act all christian-y and stuff. It's revolting to the stomach.
Don't act all nice too me after you've vent your anger at me, it's an earsore.

Tell me once you're ready to act like a mother. I'll be out there in life probably teaching my kids the best and i pray they grow up never to be like you. I'll bring them up as my own pride and joy, and i'll believe them. Because i love them.

I wonder Ma, have you even ever loved us?

Your daughter,
erika.

why wait

It is a lovely saturday i know. And what am i doing at home at such an early hour? ASK MUM.
I'd be out there by now, just galavanting on the stairs and ramps and pipes of somerset. But noooooo, mum wanted me home to show face.

April 3rd love. [: can't wait.

harry's invisibility cloak

Hey readers i've got something to tell you.

Have you guys ever tried to play the part of invisible girl or boy? Even in a relationship?

Well being stubborn may lead your ass into hot soup sometimes.

I've played invisible girl for a short period, i don't wanna prolong it any further. Because the guilt i feel is over my head and under my feet. It's a shadow that's casting over me.

I should be talking to someone who'se been in my shoes. BUT it seemes like no one has been.

I wish i could disappear.

Disappearing acts

I meet the weirdest characters in my life. These weird characters make me laugh, they give me good laughs. And i mean they really know how to make me laugh. Because they bring the laughter to my life.

I also meet the characters which i DON'T KNOW where to catergorise under. They are the ones that enter my life, stay for a day or 2 or a week or so, and all of a sudden they DISAPPEAR.

There are also the characters who are uber nice to me, and they really really really care for me. But i kinda mess things up. Or i just twist and turn the story, INTENTIONALLY. Sigh.'

It seems like i'm loosing more than i gain this year, well that's how i feel. I've lost a totoal up to 10 people. THIS YEAR. Though we still do talk, we know there's this sense of human frailty we can't avoid.

I admit i don't like AWKWARDNESS, cause i don't know what to do next. That's there and then you get me right where you want me. YOU DISAPPEAR.

it's so you, to run away from your feelings and NEVER come back.

school's little things

Alright i bet you readers out there are ready to hold a gun on my head and shoot me for not doing my holy duties of updating. But complain no more, i'm HERE. (:

At the moment. it's the 22nd of March, 10:50 pm, i'm at the school library, i'm feeling normal.

My days have been pretty going on good. Not bad not good but it's good. ( like HUH?!?) Well, for once i'm back into the world of nagging, coursework, homework, textbooks, and test. The fresh smell of papers, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh GLOBAL WARMING. I hate school, casue they waste paper. I hate school cause we have the dumbest rules. I hate school cause of EERIE-tating prefects. I hate school cause M.o.E is changing their education policy. (So FINE, so be it. If death rates are increasing, we can just blame it on the education system for stressing our guts out that cause us to have intentional scuicide. SCREW Y-O-U!)

Then again, i love school cause of, duh, friends. I've got the most craziest, prettiest, loveable bunch of friends ever. (: I love school, cause i like to break the rules. HAWHAW! I love school, because of......um.........er.......i just love school for the sake of loving.

Anyway, it's funny how Singaporeans react to things and how they live their life. I plan to make a documentary on you people though. It's kinda interesting yet applaudeble too. HEH. I won't pen it down as goal, cause i can never seem to accomplish my goals. So my best goal ever, is to carry on finding a goal. (:

Hmmmmm on another hand, let's take my right hand. Scandalous behaviour has been going on. -bites tongue-i've been a very very very very very bad girl. HURHURHUR!

plant sunflowers in my head

Summer break is over. Yea.

I'll never forget the series that collate up to summer love.

I'll go plant sunflowers in my head now.

summer love. THANKS FOR THE SUMMER

Oh summer love, summer love. STAY and NEVER EVER CHANGE PLEASE.

Let me see. My body is burnt, like ONLY the body. It's like this i tell you

Just concentrate on his body. THAT'S HOW MY BODY LOOKS! ):

Skate park=love. Irritating Ramly=SMILES. Cassie,Izman,Shafiz=DOUBLE SMILE. Fried Mars Bars=Bliss. [:

instigator with a sad smile

Today marks the last day i'll ever spend with Wan. And off will his ass be at boot camp. Skate park. Far east. 7-11. I'll never forget the time spent. I cried infront of him. More like wailing. But i couldn't help. I cried even more when he left me at the subway. HOWEVER ALL THE FAGS AND FAGGOTS IN THE MRT COULDN'T BE EVEN NICE ENOUGH TO EVEN GIVE ME A TISSUE. And to say that Singaporeans have a big heart, YEA RIGHT. BULLSHIT!

Sigh. I know i have tons and hoards of friends to surround me with. But out of that many of them, how many of them can i really call them 'FRIEND'? Maybe 10, maybe less. Skate park won't ever be the same with my boy around anymore. Sure i get to see Batam and gang and the rest, but it just won't evern be the same.

Wan,

I don't wanna close my eyes

I don't wanna fall asleep

'Cause I'd miss you, babe

And I don't wanna miss a thing

'Cause even when I dream of you

The sweetest dream will never do

I'd still miss you, babe

And I don't wanna miss a thing..

Aku cinta pada mu. (:

ohhh and i got my second navel piercing.

but the instigator game is still on!!!!!!!!!!

Skateboarding is not a crime.

VANS SKATE JAM! was the real highlight of my month, and maybe my year. Gawd how i gave up so many things just to be there but it was worth my time. Caught up with people i haven't met for months and some even years.

That joy that i felt yesterday, was too exhilarating to described. I met the pros from indonesia and thailand. The atmosphere was just great, despite it was hot. Still goood. I just don't know how to comprehend it all in sentence or a paragraph but you must be there to see and to feel. TO be part of the dream that we skaters dream of. And now for the first time in a longest time, i want to go back to skate-boarding again. SIGH. It's heaven.

























there are days where i'll end up like this dude though. HEH



















but some day, i can't wait to feel the thrill and the chill in the air.


























hung out with nick and his people. Fo real. I think i'm finally coming back to the world where i belong. I'm finally meeting the people whom i called on friends. The people who picked me up when i fall of the board.
I can't wait for all the surprises.


Ahhhh during service, something happend. Actually after service. Joy and Van knows. Whatever it is, they know i rock, i know i do too. HEH.

i'll carry you when your arthiritis is bad

My voice is very very very very very sexy. and sexy and S-E-X-Y! It's the S-E-X man! LOL

Right. Well march holidays are on the roll, and i'm not the least excited. I hate N.S for stealing friends/brothers/boyfriends away. And i wish they could stop changing all the sickening rules.

Life has been well life. Friendshp goes up right left and center. Parents go north south east west. Situations go here and there and everywhere.

NOTHING INTERESTING!

and i'll miss you.

help me psy!

Maybe i need help from a psychiatrist.

what holiday?

OH JELLYBEANS AND GUMMYBEARS! What for do i keep a blog when i don't bother to update it most of the times.

Let's just say i have been really busy. My body clock is beginning to understand that I AM deprived of sleep during school days. But I wonder how the hell did Bill Clinton got use to having 30 years deprived of sleep? Whatever.

Ahh crap. THIS is like my schedual for march holidays

Saturday- Samar at Arab streeet. Church. (BOOK ME!)
Sunday- Crazy professor's tution
Monday- (BOOK ME! I'M FREE!)
Tuesday- 10-1 chem/bio classesw in school. Rompe II at St James. The Clinic?
Wednesday-(BOOK ME! I'M FREE!)
Thursday- FnN camp=overnight in school=staring at the computer for A day=crappy meals=neverending zoink!
Friday-FnN camp finishes. Classes till like 1.
Saturday- Church? PLAY ON @ DXO.

mmmmm just went online shopping and retail shopping. Bought a sweet Voodoo doll trucker cap from the weekend designer blog's. (Thanks joy for introducing!) And skinny jeans from Topshop. Zara and Mango were crap. Mango's new collection is even more crap. But i don't feel a sense of happYness though. -shrugs-

Alright, getting to the serious bit.
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN OR EVEN BOTHER, EAD HERE!

It's true that you don't know what you've got till it's gone, but it's also true that you don't know that it'll be gone till you know it's missing. I feel insensitive to those people who care for me so much, yet alone too much. I wish all you readers out there would learn to cherish the people that care for you the most. I lost a good guy friend, E. It won't be the same will it? Not ever? Not never? And then shortly just yesterday, my other good guy friend, Wan went for N.S.

I've never felt so alone before. The midnight calls and messages. The outings after school or on Saturdays. The visits to ex-Parallel and Gallery where we crap. The talks. The bitching. The love. The bond. The hugs. The kisses. The 'US'. Right there before my eye, i just watch it tumble and slowly die.

Why can't i stop hurting these type of people? Why can't i understand? Why can't anyone be ere anymore?

unsaid

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

school is gobbling me up like how cookie monster eats his cookies. heh.

Did i tell you? That i have to come back to school for EXTRA lessons, there's FnN overnight camp, whereby i stick my ass to the chair and stare at the computer for A day.

I have many things to say, but it seems i never have the time to upload it all up. I got myself into a pickle though. ):

To S,
There's never a right time to say goodbye
But I gotta make the first move
'Cause if I don't you gonna start hating me
Cause I really don't feel the way I once felt about you
BOY it's not you, it's me I gotta gotta figure out what I need
There's never a right time to say goodbye
But we know that we gotta go
Our separate ways
And I know it's hard but I gotta do it,
And it's killing me
Cause there's never a right time
Right time to say goodbye.

To E,
my friend till the end. This is for youl;
I miss you...
I miss your smile
And I still shead a tear
Every once in a while

And even though we're different now
You'll still hear somehow
My heart won't let you go and i need you to know

i miss you
Shalalalala
i miss you

friend

i never knew i could fall this hard. The past few days were miserable to me. ):

if i could, could i erase everything. if only i could, i would.

i feel so lost without your calls or smses. I feel so scared.

i look around me, and i get the stares. I look beside me, you're not there.

I really want you to know that i really do care.

I wonder what are you doing now.

Are you in your workplace playing the drums or the guitar? Or are you eating? Or are you playing Ps2?

Are you talking to lin? Does she know that i care for her too?

Can i still call you friend? Can i have you back in my life?

Do you miss me?

i know i do.

For you

I ask myself, how could i let the sweetest people slip away? HOW?

Having alot of friends, shows how sociable you are and how friendly you are too. But keeping them, and make damn sure, they're true is another. Sad to say, within 1 single day, just 1 i tell you. I lost 2 friends who were close to me overtime, recently.

The deep fear that i have now in me, is loosing anyone that i care for. Even if you any of you don't feel like i do, deep down, i really do.
I'm sooo scared to know that nothing was ever real. The past still taunts me like a shadow at some corner. I'm so afraid, that i may no longer have the strength to fight back, i'm so afraid of loosing what i already had/have ( i just did), i'm afraid nothing i do is good enough, i'm afraid of getting HURT. I act so strong infront of everybody, but the truth is, i am soo afraid.

Sigh. I wonder what you are doing now. I wonder where you are. Seems like this is gonna be an Atlantic Ocean for us. It's gonna be pretty far. Could you take it away, ONE DAY.

I'm starting to miss you, friend.






i hate myself for the things that i do and don't do. Inevitably, i'll never ever get to understand so many things. And i laugh at my own lack of vocab words.

Ahhhh my gawd. I lied. I sooooo lied. lied. lied. Technically i didn't.

Sandy and Zara and I played pool. When all of a sudden Zara wanted to go Dxo. So i was like, ok, we'll go.

Well i don't wish to say anything. EVERYTHING that happend there. REMAINS THERE. Nothing comes out.
But i reached home at 7 though. (:

Tim McGraw leaving on a jet plane

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR TO ALL YOU EARTHLINGS OF THE WORLD. (:

home-visiting is a tire. Well anyway, currently i'm at Eagen's workplace, wakemeup music there. Just met up with nick this morning at city hall over starbucks. Was bored and sooo i took the subway to Pasir Ris, Changi Airport, Dover. yeaaa, i am sooooo freeee. However, i liked the time given to me on to reflect the many things that had beeen happening, except for the cheeeky old chee koh peck seating across me hindered my thoughts, and the sudden nosebleed i have. HOW GREAT.

A million and one feelings are swimming around me. GEEEEEES. I'm caught up with my thoughts, and i'm staring at the screen, i don't know what to type down.

Izzy, came online, talked for a while. He's back in Jordan. Wonder if this is ever gonna start all over again fo' real.

I'm scared of my own feelings, i want to confess that. What if that feeling for a person is like mutual. I'm scared to know, that i only cared for ____n, because he was very vulnerable. I'm scared to hit off with him, and in the settle out with my feelings to only realised, i just cared for him because he was vulnerable. Jesus, i can't sleeep.

On another note, what if someone comes along, eventually it did, and you seem to convert the care for this person instead. I deserve to bang my head on the war memorial wall la.

I want to leave on a jet plane, and then go thailand. Or maybe some Tim McGraw will do.

AHHHH PICS FROM JOY! FINALLY!



























































































































THEN THERE. HEH. Ahhhhh, i bought 2 new flats. Whooooopeeeeedooooooo.

AHAHA. I'm in school. And i fibbed about yesterday being DATELESS. Had a small date with MEGAN. Unfortunately half way during dinner, i had a BIG, GIGANTIC headache, the size of empire state building. HEH. ): But it was alllll goood in the end. [:

Took pictures. Ate candy after candy bought from candy empire at millenia walk. Bumped into his friends, audrey and emmmm i forgot the other girl's name. AHA.

I, didn't even fucking wished me at all. So kay, fine, whatever. I guess you've finally STOPPED caring.

Alright, i DOUBT i'll be going online later tonight, service at expo at 8, will be raeching home at 10+++++ maybe. I might not even have the time to mug for bio. Ahhhh that's just great.

HURRY ALL! DATE ME TOMORROW OR SATURDAY! But till 7.30 for Saturday, family renioun dinner. -_- TILL THEN. I have alot to blog about



Tu armor, estela siempen mi corazon.

anti valetine's day

My absence is not missed. I KNOW. Well, for those who actually read or even bother to read or even care,
i've been tight packed with homework and test. I'm sorry. I go online yes, but i'm lazy to blog hell yes.

Well i don't want to summarise everything i want to say today. I've beeen disappointed with almost 10 people. Sad to say majority from school and 3 outside school.

dateless on valentine's day? I think i am. Join me in my crusade for ANTI-valentine's day.

please don't tell me that i'm vulnerable, factually impossible

Met Winnie yesterday to purchase a necklace from her. (:

























Should be getting my necklaces from her now onwards, specially designed and crafted by herself trully. (::

Eyebags are protruding out, valentine's day is around the corner so is chinese new year! Well homework is Mount Everest, i'll visit Himalaya's if that's the case.

've been talking to Terry(factual name) alot. Lol. All goood now. Encourgaing every now & then. Just met him just now, ended up talking for an hour and a half at Far East. (:


Okay, before i hit before what i have to hit. I have to say this, but everything changes without a reason. To this girls,


B, i was kinda jealous when you burst out something today. I just feel like we're not as close before. You piss me off at times too. But i rather ignore and won't let it affect our friendship. I can't gurantee you soo many things. Whatever it is, i have my own problems too. And please stop making empty promises to me.

L, control your temper, don't let it dampen your frienship with alot of people. You can piss us off to the extreme end at times, but we still tolerate it somehow. I have heard some pretty nasty rumors about you. Just that i won't use it against you.

N, you've been a great friend too me for the past 5 years of my life. But as we grew up to butterflies, there may be areas in our lives that we may never understand, nevertheless you were always there somewhere in the end. I'm sorry if i ever disappointed you in anyway. (:

J, i've got no comments. You too can piss me of to the extreme measures, that's you and your group. But nonetheless you know i can't be bothered. Thank God for that kay. [:

C, same as J.


Now for the guys,


I, you've been a part of me for a few years. But you'll never know how i'll cherish those times we had. I know what happend, maybe i do, if you think i don't can you tell me still? I'm sorry. I miss you at times, honestly i do. I've written several things about you. Mostly sad ones, no such thing as emo ones, i hope to see you again. I really hope to talk to you again. You were one mistake i really didn't mind, so mercifully that took me down.

M, geeee it seems you suffer from moodswings too eh? You can really strike a nerve at times, mine too in my case. If i could, i would devote a day or 2 just to talk to you and rectify some problems eh? I'm trying to find it, but looks like i need to buy it. Why put me at a spot? Why do you have something that i don't understand?

I guess for now, this are the people i want to talk too and talk about. Many times we hurt one another, without knowing. And my mind has been drained and wash.

be a jock and talk cock and then watch yourself rot

I'm thoroughly proud of myself today. I managed to jot down on my organizer the things i would love to blog about today. (: A deep sense of satisfaction. Maybe not that deeep. BUT you know what i mean.

Assembly was draggy. And i hate it when Anthony 'Hopkins' talks. I feel like i'm in some sort of boot camp. But he was going on and on and on and repriminding us to B-E-H-A-V-E when we're out in school uniform. And how the school received complaint calls from the public. The wonderful thing is not the students that misbehave in school uni, students are students. IT doesn't matter. But i'm amaze of how the public has sooooo much time to actually call up the school and trash their complains. Now the first few thoughts in many heads were,
'People got no life is it?' I was the many too who thought like that.

Earlier however, Charles Low or Clay Aiken Wannabe talked about how he was over at the U.S for a holiday and there was a slight delay in the flights. He went on rambling about how he noticed that the Asians(singaporeans he says) were complaining and making alot of noise like a parade of pressure cookers. But the Americans were patient surprisingly, no surprisingly to me though.

No doubt. Singaporeans love to bitch and complain, and it's irritating and i'm like ' what is there to complain about?' Even the slightest and smallest things, they would go all the way to complain about it. What a lovely symphony it may sound. But typical Singaporeans. I laugh sometimes at the inside joke of it. Though i'm a half singaporean, i feel we take things TOOOOOOO lightly and don't reall the value the values of life or life in general at all. Sometimes i wish that a huge crisis could shake us, just like how u.s responded to the terrorist, the few cases of worst terrorism in history. They in turn learn to value life and enjoy and seize every day, moment, minute of it. And they don't complain at all. WHY OH WHY ARE WE COMPLAINING FOR?

Another topic is about 'JOCKS'.
boy oh boy.
1) they are the cheer-leaders or are the ones that are always in the famous cca, usually performing arts or sports.
2) they have MONEY.
3) they kinda have THE attitude though they won't admit to it.
4) They don't really care about others, honestly.

Forgive me i repeat. I've not been comitted to my daily bloggings as i use to be. Indeeed i'm sure running out of time nor do i have any time.

Monday, i finish school at 3.30. I get home, i still have homework, projects etc to finish. + tuition homework.
Tuesday, i finish at 3. Same as above. But i have tuition that ends at 10.30
Wednesday, i have cca then japanese classes, and i won't get back till 10. I still can't finish the homework.
Thursday's, is slightly better, i have japanese class till 5.30. But homework never ends.
Friday, schoool, cca then cell. I reach home close to 10-11. Either. I'm too bummed, sometimes i sleep on my homework.
Saturday i'm out the whole day, i don't wake up till like 11 in the morning.
Sunday i have tuition from 2-6.

HOWEVER,that's not important. Though eyebags are protruding, and i'm starting to have bloodshot eyes.

I did have a million and one things to say, but i forgot, i always forget. ): Well let's see

• Singapore's education system is driving me nuts. So is M.o.E. I mean no offence to you dudes/dudettes working there but i wish you guys were more consistent and more helpful. I've been repeatedly calling M.o.E Language centre to talk to the Japanese Head but i guess she must've have rocketed to Hokkaido huh? PLEASE PICK UP THE DAMN PHONE SO THAT MY HEAD WON'T BE ON THE CHOPPING BOARD OF MY SCHOOL'S V.P! ):
• Stop killing us la M.o.E. ]:
• Stop being such copycats! TO HELL WITH YOU PEOPLE!

Ahhhh another thing,

• How many times have you called yourself a friend? Out of 9/10 say they will. (YEAAA SOOO MUCH FOR CALLING YOURSELVES FRIENDS THOUGH) In this year, i WILL loose friends and gain some. It doesn't matter which. But i know damn right. If you ever do care, please call.

Well, i seriously have nothing much to say so far. I neeeeed to take memo notes of what to blog down soon.

sigh, here goes nothing. AGAIN. I sit at the corner of my bed and i just stone. I wish you told me everything. I wish we could start over, as friends again. But whatever for, seems like you found your new best-girl-friend. So i'm just simply chop liver/suay to you. I've never been this badly disappointed in my entire life. You're my first, and i pray my last.

Everything got me thinking 'bout everything.

I don't know what was i thinking. I haven't been myself sometimes and it's because i'm loosing myself bit by bit each day. Like a hole in a pocket, the coins drop out. I was a master of complacent, i guess i was better then viola & cesario. But i finally realise i know nothing of what happend. It's like i was dead and then alive again, my memory erases everything of events that happend back then. I guess that's good, isit?

i've semi-ed studied the chapter of co-ordination & response. I studied the nervous system and hormones, and the eye is well um getting near. I'm tired. The weekend is soo short, but weekdays are soooo long.

The weekends i use to look forward, but now i dread. I'm wasting my life, money and time. I've decided to stop smoking AFTER my birthday which is june. But pleasee ahh, don't juge me as a person who smokes everyday, it's a weekly thing. I should stop spending. I need to plan out my time, actually, it's the school who needs to do that. Schoool is mundane. School is like a jail sentence, you get in, you do your sentence, you get out.

BLAH. School starts tomorrow. ):

I was wondering the whole while today, what if the picture were us? What if you know, it was just the 2 of us? With no guidance or whatsoever shin-diggy. No one to tell us where to go or what to do or who to be with or what to feel.

But i figured out that you're in love with another. You didn't tell me anything at all. I was beginning to feel that i meant nothing to you at all. I was a nobody. I was a nuisance. I was what you call 'oh another person in my life'.

Maybe i was right, i'm better out of your life. You don't need me. At all.

For certain, i'm sure, we had our moments of fun. I'm thankful for that. Gawd, i'm like emo now i know.

Will you remember in time to come? How would you know that i won't be around in Singapore next year? Or in the future?

Well i guess i'll see you in a decade.

(this is for isaac)

forever yours,
XOXO erika.

Currently it's 10:26 and here's what i'm doing,
doing my o-level coursework, watching "The Mummy Returns", blogging and munching on cookies and milk. On top of that, i haven't showered yet. I just got back from tuition, and the crowd goes 'eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew'.

EDITED

Did i mention how i've been also thoroughly enjoying myself this past fwe days despite the short time i have. Eagen has been susbsisquently been putting a smile on my face. Thanks sweeetheart. Anyway i made 2 new friend Ben & Syed. Nice people/funny people. Dinner at food republice before heading down to tuition. Bummmer.

Open house to close house

EHEH. I added a little music to make this space alittle more uh alive? Yea Jack Johnson, someone got me hooked to it though. -winks- Yeap jack johnson h was he guy who also did for curious george's movie soundtrack.

Well i have forgotten what i've wanted to say, as always.

Oh, maybe about open house huh? I totoally had to pang-sehed the gang for ngee ann but i managed to meet them at tampines for Temasek instead. I rated umm 6/10. Reason being, we went there late and most of the displays were closed. But hey-ho, it got even better when it was pouring like there was no tomorrow. The funny part, we toook the wrong bus that lead us to uhhh little india when we were supppose to be back at Tampines instead. However the gang split and there i was with Nisha in Little India to find my dessert, instead we ate Curd Vadai in the end. It's DEEEEE-LEEEE-CIOUS i say.

I wanted to find egan, guess i didn't want to disturb him. Oh wells, i'm talking to him via msn anyway. (:

OHHHHH BOY.

Everything left me in a blink of an eye.

2 boys and 2 girls. Like i said before, if no one is meant to stay they should VERY WELL LEAVEEEE.

Conflicts n Cornflakes

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I haven't been blogging! ):

SHITZZZZ! Anyway, i've been busy and getting lack of sleep. Doesn't mean i'm awake means i'm not tired. I ammm sooooo deeply in want of a bed. Well homework is piling up to my head and further even. Projects soon to be due. Chapters to revise on. So in the midst of blogging, i'm juggling my FnN coursework and tuition homework, (I HATE TUITION!)

13th January- Service and friends. Guo, Xing, Joy, Bay. Dinner at TCC. Walking aimlessly to P.S. Emo talks and Emo walks. 'Nuff said.

14th January- Laguna Beach. Tuition. Eating dinner at favourite Thai Restaurant. Teared because of some idiot.

15th January- Dad's birthday. MEGA BIG HEADACHE. Egg cup holders for birthday present.

Today is the usual. I was telling Nisha how i suddenly felt that my life went stagnant all of a sudden. Rachel was arguing with herself wether to pierce the tongue or navel. _______ was irritating me, unintentionally. I don't know why but everytime i see her _____face or even hear her talk about the oh so many things, it irritates the slightest guts out of me.

But now i'm even arguing with myself, TO GO OR NOT TO GO for dxo this saturday, THAT is the question. (Is it a question?)

Oh wisdom word for today.

"There are 2 types of rules, bad rules & good rules. Bad rules are one made BY the school. Good ones are the ones that doesn't exist, and that's because you made them."

i don't even see the wisdom in it, but heck. Just for laughs. So LAUGH NOW!



Conflicts & cornflakes

Rain rain go away,
Come again another day.

It's been raining a day and a half, and weirdly strange weather seems to be happening around the world, like in New York, cherry blossoms have blossomed. I know, i couldn't believed my ears but CHERRY BLOSSOMS?!? Though thanks to people like us who are causing the EL NINO! (Global Warming) Ahhhh screw the world.

School has been school. I'm reluctant that tomorrow is saturaday, I can sleeep late tonight and enjoy the maximum hours of sleep needed. (:

I've been having a bad impression on the sec 4's this year. Now i didn't say the sec 4's in my school ONLY but in others as well, alright in general let's use students instead. Why exactly do they like to S-T-A-R-E as if one is from the planet mars? Strange humans. And another thing, i laugh at the paradoxic thing of how people 23 and above go around saying
"I have matured. I have matured." When deep inside they know that they are childish, seriously. I was talking to a few on email but i couldn't help but fall out of my seat laughing at how they respond and especially some with the mere usage of vulargarites in their dictionary!
Here's 1 kid that i met who always contridicted himself on emails.
Another kid always have HAHA at the end of every sentence.
Another kid who ask me stupid question.
You may ask why i use the word kid on them, and it's because i believe they are kids inside them still. Like myself for example, i'mma kid inside STILL. I call everyone 'kid'. Everyone should have a KID inside of them or else i ask 'Where did your childhood come from then?' If you say you're NOT a kid, please go slap yourself back to kindergarten.
I still remembered once how this 27 year old bitched about me who is 11 years younger than her age! HILARIOUS! Like hello i'm soooo much younger looking then her at least i'm not gonna get saggy cheeks or wrinkles now! Wth la. And they say they're NOT childish.

And another thing, JC students, i realise they have this habit of gawking. Acjc people, gawk and laugh at the slightest SMALL things. Like they're geegles are from dolls of hell. It irritates me and has this squeakyness in them. ):

I do hope that fashion to EVERY singaporean will be an art or for some, something that brings out the meaning of their life. Singapore has one of the worst fashion i've ever seen from other countries to admit, i've read magazines from VARIOUS places and i compliment on their uniquness and exquisiteness. Singapore is typical plain jane, prim and proper, conservative, boring, repeative and common scene. And again this is also displaying on my 'work'. I neeed something new. And i wish to start a revolution did i say?

I leave you with 'Wisdom words by erika'

Don't go chasing waterfalls, chase Nigeria Falls instead.

TOODLES NOODLES.

9,000 words of wisdom

I was sitting back in class today and was wondering what i should do about myself this year and i have decided to start a 9,000 words of wisdom COMPILED and CREATED by erika. LMAO. So

"Wherever you go, there you are."
(Figure out the meaning yourself and how you want to implement or implicate in your life or whatsoever)

First lesson and Bunka was a piece of donut. Lunch at Shaw with Nisha, unexpectedly bump into Dharham and his brother, Jeric. Met bay and the rest for a while.

FUCK, i just stepped on a glass piece. >: (

Sometimes i wonder what is WRONG with people. It was raining cats and dogs, when i already stepped out of the bus, and i was obviously wet, however a womand standing next to me, waiting to cross the road as me was holding an umbrella, but couldn't be bothered to share it with me. Like wtf, i'm only 17 la. But just be nice enough to share it with me can, i was already drenched to my toes! So as i hasten back home, i found out that woman lived in the same condo as me and she even have kids somemore. Like WTF. It doesn't pay to be nice. ):

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I'M HAVING A HEADACHE.

Alright people of my world, as promised i have my TEMPORARILY NUMBER, but do drop me an email for it. The other number is still in use but only after 8th of FEBUARY.

Bummer i know. ):

School is like my 2nd house, eventually in all these days to come it will be my 2nd house. Now i said house, not home. I have been wanting to burn down alot of things down recently, 1. homework, 2. Demerit point letters, 3. my concious, 4. My friends? (LOL KIDDING!)

To Mi Amor,
Tu amor, I will always be Tu amor, means the world to me Estarás siempre en mi corazón.

ahhhh here's a photo of mai's surprise birthday outing. (: Unglam i know. But i can't help but smile because of the warmth i feel.

TAGS!
ERIKA- LOL. Yea and i would get expelled for such behaviour. Schoool sucks la, not as if anything inside is any better. I'm wasting my life.

Rachel Koh Si Yi- Hey my new number is TEMPORARILY out. (: Will text you sooon for details

why school stinks.

ATTENTION ATTENTION!

PEOPLE OF ALL WALKS FROM MY WORLD!

My phone has beeen confiscated by a motherfucking prefect by the name of wey wey and YES she is the head prefect of my school. SO anything just kill her for me please. So 9750**** will not be in use till 8th Feb. For now, i'll be getting a temporary number by wednesday? Soooooooooooo I'm really sorry to ask you all to save 2 numbers for me in your phone/sim space. Apologies.

My schoool is dumb i tell you. In any case i would love to burn it down, however i can carry on dreaming. When i told mummy what happend, she didn't think i was entirely wrong either. However, the demerit point letter is WHAT i'm gonna burn, (i'm NOT joking by the way). Schools should review their rules, in this case, my school as well. I believe one is capable of doing many things, so am i. Up to an extent, i could have, however i gave lee way and kept my mouth shut. But then, mum said, the next time another stupid/unreasonable punishment is given, it's straight to M.o.E or even extreme, the courtroom.

Being a prefect is tough, i agree, but prefects PLEASE DON'T take your job toooo seriously.

I've beeen irrationally irritated with the fact that people are coming up to me asking if i'm ok? THE ANSWER IS YES. It's irritating y'all.

I think i sold my soul to having to commit my this year to stuyding when i signed on that form at Bunka Language centre. ):

waiting for you

What a week it's been. I have a million and one things to say, from school life to time spent with my babies of mum's cell group. So i guess i'll term the words.

School
One word, hectic. Dance hasn't been productive on friday. Sec 5's are NOT allowed to be in the SYF, i guess it is a both a goood and bad thing. School rules have been a major change. But sad to say I HATE IT. So schooool, wether you like it that i hate it doesn't really bother me. I have nothing to say about the education system. The government is probably encouraging families to have more than 1 kid is probably to make up for the high rates of suicide cases of teens being driven up to their walls because of pressure from education. Seriously speaking, M.o.E should reconsider on RE- moulding a child's education, instead of depriving it. You can't learn EVEYRYTHING from a text-book, if a geek, dweeb, nerd, dork, loser defines his life on a text-book, I don't see a bright future, honestly. Being in sec 5 is not a happy thing, it's not a hippie thing either. ):

Happy times
I have my share of happy times too my readers. Let's see getting to plan for Maimunah's party on Saturday was gooood. WE surprised her by going over to her place and TA-DAH! Her dad was the sweetest person alive on that day, alright maybe there were more sweet people who were alive la, but he's one of them too. (: He took shots, like professional shots of us individual and groups, i swear it loook sooooo profressional, obviously. I'll upload the pictures when Maimunah passes it to me on a disk, preferbly next monday, tuesday or wednesday. Had lunch at the village in Heeren's. Over to Fariza's place to continue with Mai's gift.

Then off to service. Met joy, (i'm sorry dear for being late! I promise never to be late again!)

Was at my folk's cell group leader's house, aka my god-aunt and uncle. Played with Sarah, the Golden retreiver. Talked to their kids, and hell, i didn't know their hormones can start raging at such an early of a primary 3. -_-
But i love time spent with them. I always love spending time with all the kids. (:

Night was beautiful, currently readers, you won't believe where i'm situated at, OUT-SIDE of my place, well more off upstairs, where i call it 'my balcony' the moon, the stars, the night sky, the breeze. And all i need is someone special to spend it with. (:

MEGAN! Thanks for always making me smile and making me laugh without fail, i really really truly deeply appreciate it. (:

The sad thing
Maybe this might not be sad, maybe emo? I don't know. However there was a hidden secret today. When i was alone in city hall for a while and when i stepped into the mrt with joy, a part of me wanted to cry so badly. In service especially, i couldn't understand WHAT Pastor was talking about, ogay maybe it was because i was sleeping for a while! However i never felt so upset but in such a secretive way. When pastor mention River J____N ( Joy knows this word) I was sooooo upset. I guess maybe some things are best UNEXPLAINED and then eventually left alone and let it grow stagnant till it eventually dies away. But i ask, what if it doesn't?

Isaac, you can choose to ignore me, you can choose to have me out of your life, you can choose to forget me, either way, i won't hate you. It's funny how i don't think you can see that there's this wall in between us and you choose not to even know it's there. It's funny how after our first date, you totoally chose to forget me FOREVER. You won't know how upset and how miserable i was. When you want something out of me, you choose to stay and hope that maybe i'll respond, but i respond, but it's weird how our feelings get all mixed up like rojak. Now tthat i wanted to be by your side, you simply left me to talk to the Ghost of Good things. I was lost in all directions. And yes i admit, i missED you. We were there for each other, even when we were MILES apart, i never forgot about you.
Everything is different now. It's funny how everything has turned out so unexpectedly to me.
Maybe it'll be better if i left you alone, maybe it'll be better if we never spoke to each other again, maybe it'll be better if i forget you, maybe it'll be better if you were never were a friend. I don't know.
I miss you sometimes, honestly i do. I think about you when i'm not suppose to. I long to know you all over again.

I wish i can hear you now.

i LOVE school

I ''LOVE'' school. I ''LOVE'' school. I "LOVE" school.

Being a student is suicidal. Especially when you're studying in a Singapore Education Based school.

First day of school was normal. The usual, rules and this and that, crazy and stupid. But many of you know i can't give a damn and i always manage to put an excuse, dramatic one of course. I have holiday homework i have YET to finish. My form teacher is Mdm Noraini, My s.s teacher is STILL Mr LEE SIONG BOON, My Geog teacher is Miss Choo. Great now i'm REALLY gonna flunk my Humanities. Top it off, i'm not even given a class at the M.o.E Language centre. Just screw you people alright!

On the con.,

• miss shen thought i was a nuisance. (INSIDE CLASS JOKE)


• During English i wrote a journal topic that goes like this 'If erika died, what would you say at her funeral'


• I terribly missed alot of people.

Sigh. But i'm telling myself it's just for another year.

i'm off for homework.

no resolutions=no happiness

Ahhhh alright it's 2o07. So no biggy. Don't expect me to make resolutions cause my only resolution is to NOT make a resolution.

Today's outing with 'Megan' (joy-bay-i knows this person) was the ULTIMATE BOMB to start my year off. We explored Haji lane AND Arab Streeet. I swear the stuff there are the sex LA! I must go back. Lunch at Thai Express at the Esplanade, then chilling. (: ZOMG. It put a great big smile to my face. (: THANKS MEGAN! HAHA

and i ask myself before, why isit possibly possible that he always makes me happy.

Well i just came back from town, bought a new school bag from Roxy, and a Planner from Borders, dinner at Newton circus, and top it off mummy surprised me with a DKNY bag.

Ahhhhh shibs. I'm not offered a class for next year for Japanese. Curse M.o.E. ):

Replies for Tag:

ZAKI: THANKS YOUS! (:

TAB: I've linked you! Hoping to get to know you more soooooon. (:

Alright girl M.I.A is B.I.A.

So let's seeeeee here, any updates. updates. updates. AHHHH UPDATES!



on the 29th of December, I met up with Bay, Van, Joy, Sarah Chan, Tabitha, Cassie, Alex, Chloe, Ji Min, Sandra. Initially we were suppose to have steam boat at Marina, but due to some stuff, we had Thai Express in the end. I'm still brooding over the fact that the whole gst thingy whopped up to be an $18. Ahhhh screw you economy. Nothing much really was done, just a small get to gether and loads of cam whoring. Anyway, here's a picture i took from Ji Min's blog. Courtesy of her.




















Cassie is missing in the picture cause she had to leave early. But the picture is still pretty sweet huh? Sarah, Alex, and Sandra and maybe Joy has more pictures. Anyway A****Y came to meet me for a while, it didn't turn out pretty good, none theless, i cried in the end. Girls did a great job in cheering me up and i received an unexpected phonecall from a certain someone. DHARHAM! HAHA anyway, before that, Egan met me. Nicely 'MEGAN' must have had manicure to do and in the end was 1 hour late.


On the 30th of December, at 1 in the morning i wrote a very very NONG NONG letter to A****Y. Delightfully, i slept at 3. And i got woken up at 8 to do housework. GAHH. Folks took me out to eat at the Ellenbrough's Market Place at Swissotel Merchant Court there. The foood wasn't appetising and we were pretty disappointed, had mummy talk to the manager and get some free food, but it wasn't up to our expectation STILL. We left. Oh did i mention that while eating the raw oyster, i gulped down a spoilt one. I expelled everything out from my mouth and into the sink. Felt oh so nauseous after that. Met with joy before heading down to service oh and Zhi Guo himself too. Watched DeathNote 2 with the cell. Ahhhh i like, i love. [:


Well that probably sums it all up i guess. Later more for my new year's day day. Well it's like tomorrow, which is middle of the night, but AHHHHHHHHHHH YAH you'll seee later.

I had the worst winter season of my entire history. And yesterday night was the night. I guess it should be illegal to break someone's heart, unintentionally or intentionally. There are things you'd love to hear but you would never get to hear it from the person whom you'd like to hear it from but don't be deaf or plain stupid to the one who says it with his/her heart. I'm sorry A*****Y. I knew i should have told you from the start. Maybe it's just me, maybe i'm like all the others just an insensitive mother fucker bitch and i thought i wasn't.

I knew it was care and concern and wanting to be everything he neeeds EXCEPT his lover.I don't think i'm fit or can be what he wants to be. I'll still light up his days and be there whenever he needs me, but that's that! I'll be happy when he is but yet again, that's that. Confusion is the master of torture, it's S-U-C-K-Y! I'm hugging on to that turtle bear he got me for Christmas, but i held it with such tenderness, like it's some sorta glass that it'll break, though i know very well i'm holding on to a guy's heart that i slowly crushed UNINTENTIONALLY.

I'm really am sorry that i disappointed him and that i send out the wrong signals. He know i appreciate him, but i don't feel the special feelings for him and i don't feel connected for God knows the reason why. But i've explained to myself REPEATEDLY, he knows i care! He knows from the deepest pits of my heart, i care! But it's my fault, i shouldn't have lead him on, and on to this pithole of mine. Things ended up bad, hiding off every emotion infront of me and pretending that everything is gonna be alright when it won't be? I hate the punch line ' Can we just be friends?'

EDITS COMING LATER

have yourself a merry little christmas

Tis this season and everyone should be jolly. So Merry Christmas to all ye citizens of the world. (:

I must say, that as Christmas as is pleasing as it is. I think back and realise that i'm terribly blessed. I'm terribly blessed. (: Not only did i get what i didn't ask for. I have love that spreaded. [: Well in this case the stuff i didn't ask for, but i got it anyway were an Ipod Nano 8Gb. (black) Coach bag, L.V bag, Guerlain stuff, Monopoly (star wars version) I finally OWN it. And the list goes on. (: On the other note, i felt horrid for not getting my folks ANYTHING. I swear i ought to be punish for this sin. But i'm gonna make it a point to get a job STRAIGHT after o's and buy GIFTS on Christmas for them and the love ones. (: someone remind me yea?!? I guess the best gift i can give them now is to be a goood girl and just be O-B-E-D-I-E-N-T and get goood marks for O's. That's all they ever asked for. And also bring some pride to the family name. (ERIKA SHIMADA PLEASE DITTO THIS!)

I'm up and down. Drinking like a fish, and head spinning and secrets are hidden. Oh the volatile of joy and misery clashes too sweetly like my Tequilla Sunrise. (HA) I have figured it out that maybe I***C seems more than happy to be out of my life. What am i to say or do? It's ALWAYS this story. We loose contact, a few months later we come again and be all happy and get this funny feeling then fall out for God knows the reason why. A tormenting cycle i can't take. However, i'm willingly to do it all again, just cause i care still, i always have. And it's him i want. NOT A*****Y.

Oh wells, i'm dead gone tired and i need rest, thorough sleeping at 3 a.m in the morning doesn't help the eye bags to GO AWAY. I hope your Christmas have been a meaningful and joyful one my readers. And i hope you guys know the ACTUAL meaning of Christmas too. The night is still young, christmas won't end untill the new year. So have yourself a Merry little Christmas still my readers. At least it was better mine right? (in a away)

my disaster

You know the funny thing about me? Is how hard i try to please the people around me, but i hurt myself.


I'm crying a water tap that won't stop. I'm crying and consistently crying. I cried this morning when i woke up, cried even more when Mr BodyBuilder texted me, i cried even more when i showered. I cried even more to myself in the subway, i cried even more when i met Mr BodyBuilder. I totoally lost myself and knelt on the carpark and broke down when i was walking home.



I thought Christmas was gonna be beautiful this year, but what a fucking bunch of shit to even think about having one again, ever. I've given myself away and NO-ONE can do anything about it now.























NO ONE can ever understand what i feeel now. This happens to be my fucking disaster which i created.

Eggman, you've been a wonderful person and friend. But i can't lead you on anymore, not with myself, not with the rest. I don't want you to get hurt. I will never ever want you to be hurt. I don't want you to be just a part of my past. You make sense talking to me and i like that. Cause it's goood to be waken up by sense every once in a while. I'm sorry. We'll be great pals, trust me. I'm just in a mess up position for a while and i neeed some time to think about what i really want. I'm sorry.

Daryl, i'm glad we're staying as friends.

Izzy, will you remember me when i'm gone? Just go listen to Pink's-who knew. I don't know what to say. I just don't know what you want me to be to you.

and your slowly shaking finger tips
show that your scared like me s
o lets pretend were alone
and I no you may be scared
and I no were unprepared
but I don’t care tell me

tell me what makes you think that you are invincible
I can see it in your eyes that your so sure
please don’t tell me that I am the only one that’s vulnerable
impossible

I was born to tell you I love you
isnt that a song already
I get a B in originality
and its true I cant go on without you
your smile makes me see clearer
if you could only see in the mirror what I see

Mr bodybuilder, i'm done and over with.

ecb

Alright HEAR YEEE HEAR YEEEE
the 25th December party has beeen postponed to a later date, which will be on the 29th instead. Loook out thy blog for more details!
says me and ji min. [:

Oh before i forget TAG REPLIES
Erika: HAHA erika! You loook gorgeous i swear. Omg. You really do have the loooks. And your hair and your dress sense i like. [: OMG. HAHA yea and be very surprise who i'm dating! THANKS! (: TALK TO YOU SOOOON!

Zaki: DEY! Where are you?

That's it for taggies. Alright back to the things of the heart. You know this season holidays, kinda reminds me of events that of Laguna Beach. This whole shin-diggy i see it as Laguna Beach but Singapore version, and maybe cancel out Laguna Beach to East Coast Beach. HA.

Oh and Eagen, i hope you see this, but you were right about what you said about dating.

{Edited} 6:25PM

My mind is on it's own whirlpool of thoughts. I'm still pondering over what Eagen told me about dating a few days ago. Should i have listened or carry on with whatever i'm doing? That i can't answer. I went out with Anthony just yesterday and i bumped into Erika yesterday, as well as, Wei Fern and friend, Vanessa and friend, Jun Cai and Marcus, Roula, Shirley, and some other random people i can't remember. Caught the holiday again. But it's different this time round. Smoked for a while. Sigh.

GIRLS! I NEEEED YOU! I NEEEED SOMETHING THERAPUTIC TO REJUVILINATE MY SOUL! SESSIONS SOOON!

This time, 'I' next was 'B' then it was 'E' then it was random people whom i can't remember and then it's 'A'.
What am i gonna do? What am i gonna say? Who am i suppose to fall for?

I must confess that i don't feel that i should fall in love now. Because i don't feeel like falling for anyone now.

Can someone save me with the answer?

{edited}

My heart broke when i saw a testimonial from some stranger i don't know on YOUR friendster page. How did we ever become like this? Why aren't we speaking to each other? Why won't you talk to me? Why won't you stay up for a little while longer just to speak to me like you always do? Why won't you reply my smses? Why can't you care? Why can't you be here? Why can't you hear me scream? I miss you oh so much. I was at raffles place the other day and i kinda texted you wether if we could meeeet but i guess you were busy with something else or someone else.
To the guy who came back from singapore FROM Jordan, who studied at St Andrew's and is 16 years old.
I miss you alright. Why am i crying? I don't know why? Why do i reach out to you? Maybe cause i thought you care.
Cause i thought of so many things, and i thought about you. I thought about you. Izzy, where are you? Can you talk to me please? I need you, i really do. Don't cast me away from you, i know you want me too. But i want you more than you want me.

who knew?

Alright before anyone is gonna ask me how much i got for my N's. I have 7. I am upset yes i am. But i'm glad i'm promoted still. Cause the O's are more important to me. To the rest of you N' ers out there. Relax man, if you guys have been promoted, be thankful for that cause the o's are way more important. (: So relax la all. Aside with this shin diggy.

Anyway, shopping with vanessa, joy, and bay. (: heartwarming. Ji min came along the way. (: And ATTENTION YEEE ATTENTION YEEE!
On the 25th December there will be a bbq party at MY place. (: Contact me and Ji min for the detaiils girls! (:

Someone unexpected message me today. There might be some changes, cause i'm going to go private sooon especially on my life. Because i have enough dramatic shit. I can't say much but yea. Only those close to me or who know me will only know, other then that don't bother getting any information from them cause they know they wont say.

Terence, i'm sorry we ended up like this. I'm sorry to know that we never bothered to have time for one another. I'm sorry that we couldn't care. I won't forget you,
my friend.

()

SBS/ TIBS should have a PROPER timing schedual for when the bus should come. I waited for a freaking long 45 mins for the bloooody bus to come for the past 2 days, and it pisses me off. My resort was to take a taxi from J8 to my place. Which cost a freaking $6.95 when the usual price is $3. Curse all Singaporean based transportaion. Our aim is to get to out destination, your aim is to satisfy us NOT burn a hole in our pocket. >(

Friday's outing with BEATLE BOY was a thumb's up. I like i love. (: Watched eragon and pigged out at pastamania. Bumped into people after people and i dragged him to walk from P.s to like far-east. Wanted to pierce my navel again but the bottom part of it, just my luck i didn't had enough cash and i wore my wrong stud. So another day perhaps.

Saturday was church. Met with Bay, Van and Joy. We found something. And this is a secret amongst the 4 of us. HAHA. [: i like. Anyway joy and i spotted this really cute guy in the Mrt. He had the face of a guy whom mostly hangs out in far-east. Dressed in all black, and i coin people who dress in all black as Funeral For aFriend. It's a band in case you guys didn't know.

Like OMG, results are released tomorrow.

Today was the bomb. The glasses were the sex! HA
I found some really cool 70's retro glasses. It's the sex i swear. And lucky me found it in the closet of my grand-folks place! WAAHOOO!

I got pang-sehed for tuition. I was disappointed and grumbling and cursing at the sun. But i cool-ed off over tea at Theeee coffee bean. Waited for Izzy to come. (:
I swear the ulitmate bomb today! Had lunch at Thai express, dessert at The Coffee Club, window shopping in Taka, and Movie at Lido. 'The holiday'. What remains inside, stays inside. No questions asked and no answers will be given.

To my secret reader (Izzy);

I miss your lips against mine, your hand entwined around mine. I miss your touch.
No and i didn't think we were going too fast.
You know i'm the person you can trust,
even if you want somethings to last.

Don't let me read your mind for too long. I can't read it all. The signs? Is it a hint or another dismiss? This is no accident. This is the start of something i want to know and find out and something i don't mind going deeper in. Something that should have started long ago. You don't have to hide it anymore.

You're terribly missed.

you will never love, and this i can't forgive

HEY, today i thought would have been a new day for me. But i realised, it was the same day. Boring day.

I was happy and well my normal self this day today, till i found myself debating if i should have gone for the match tonight?

Infact i didn't go for the match in the end actually. I lied to D. And i was sorry. And i am.

Maybe it's best if you left me alone for good.



I took your words and i believed the words you said about me and too me.
Guess you lead me on, leaving me to think that this could have been.
I wish i could touch your hand again,
I won't forget D, you're my friend. (coughs)

That last touch of your hand, i still cherish
I'll keep it back in my memories.
I guess it was too good to be true,
But still, who knew?

-erika.

This is my fault. But the reasons behind it is about you D. Thanks for being an inspiration for me to write a new song.

Mom's birthday

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BOY. The weather is driving me nuts. It's crazy, raining and then sunny on and off. I guess we can all coin this as our. Snow and Sleet of singapore.

Mommy's birthday was yesterday so Egan was nice enough to accompany me to find her a gift. We had the options of jewelry, a terrapin, a cook book, a bikini(HIS IDEA!) but we both agreed on this little guy in the end.





















Ahaha. Dinner was at Inagiku. I wonder what has Chef Watanabe been doing. Or did he resign? Standard dropped like anythin, dad and i weren't happy. But it was mum's birthday so we were all smiles. They dragged us to THEIR cell group, i wound up studying and writing in MY BOOK and listening to my old Mp3. Speaking of Mp3s. Many of you know my Sony mp3 i carry around. Now the many reasons why i loved that Mp3 were many.

1. 14,000 songs can be hold.

2. Light

3. Hassle free.

4. Long battery life. Up to 3 days.

5. Had bookmarks which allowed me to which bookmark songs and put a special emoction which could be sad, happy, crazy or hip hop songs.

6. I gave it a make over worth 40 bucks.



And the totoal cost of the whole Mp3 was a whopping $499. But guess what? When i wanted to send it for repair, it was $309. Mum told me to get a new one. Sigh.



(ULTIMATE BLING!)























Oh wells. You were a great friend in times of need. (:



ANYWAY back to myself.HAHA kidding. I was a bored before i went to bed, and i sorta played around with myplushhie, ELMO. (sorry chloe, i know you hate him, but forgive ahhh!)


(It says: If i lay here, if i just lay here. Would you lie with me and just forget the world?)
















HA. Anyway, mah mah left for Beijing. Yups. I'll be back to say more laters i guess. (: